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Cody: *with hardcase in a headlock* Stop being such a little shit!

Rex: Cody, that’s not nice, we don’t treat our vode like that!

Cody: 😏 Um, yeah we totally do. Why are you always such a daddy?

Rex: *sputtering* I’m not a parent why does everyone call me that!

Obi-Wan: *leering* To be fair, he called you a daddy, and I think that’s a fairly different connotation on the word.

Cody: *snorts and drops Hardcase so he can high five his general*

Hardcase: *groan of pain*

Cody: Whoops.

Rex: I’m not a daddy, or a parent, and I don’t see why everybody needs to- Ahsoka, don’t eat that, you found it on the ground! Oh my god I brought extra ration bars for you and Skywalker, here. *gives Ahsoka and Anakin ration bars so they don’t destroy the local bug population*

Cody: *looking at Obi-Wan* But that’s none of our business, right?

Obi-Wan: Uh-huh.

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Jedi should be spanked more. Specifically, the clones need to sit them the fuck down and tell them ‘we’re not dealing with your bullshit today and if you say one more word I’m getting the soap ask Fives I’ll do it’ and that’s really valid. I feel as tho the clones just need to stop taking the Jedi’s shit so much. Jedi????? Are dumb baby idiots who need A Timeout Corner and clones are the ones who Know When That Corner Is Needed. But also Fives probably ends up in that corner a lot too, listen, Rex is so fucking tired he’s not dealing with That Bullshit either okay. He’s just. So done. Ahsoka should probably be in that corner as much as Anakin is, but she gets away with everything like a little asshole because Rex can’t say no to her. TBH maybe someone else should be in charge. Rex is bad at this adult thing too. Cody can punish anyone. He no longer has a conscience and he’s completely immune to sad eyes. It’s the only way to survive Obi-Wan. It’s sure as fuck why no one else in the entire Jedi Order can scold that man.

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At this point Mando’a is the new Spanish because it’s quickly becoming the first/second language of most of the characters, and tbh if I don’t get some fucked up version of Mando’a/Aurebesh sorta Spanglish monster soon I’m gonna be sad.

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I don’t think you guys make Mandalorian dads (dad in terms of the masc parent, but obviously they gonna be called Buir) Dadly Enough.

Give me the Mando dad passed out on the couch sitting up with his armor still on as soon as the kids turn on the tv. Where’s the BBQ enthusiasts (bonus points for the ones who aren’t allowed in forges anymore after they asked if it was sacrilegious to turn a Beskar forge into a BBQ pit and now he’s trying to steal one just to prove he can do it) who stand around the grill and argue over the best way to cook. Where’s the ‘when your dad sneezes with the comm line still open and it rattles you in your bucket and makes you go deaf for ten minutes’ memes. Texting your Mando dad and he replies with one worded answers at all times. You have no idea what he’s replying to. You asked him 6 questions and he replied Yes to them all. Half of them were not yes/no answers needed.

Is ‘do you wanna go do target practice’ their version of throwin a ball around?????

Snoring with your helmet and comms on. Why do they always forget their goddamn comms???? The ones reading about the civil wars just cause they bored. Model spaceships.

Just more dadly than you guys are making them. They deserve to be more dadly than that.

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The only thing funnier than Force Ghost Jaster showing up to haunt Din, is young Jaster with bratty 9 year old Jango time traveling to the future and Din is all ‘you used to be Mand’alor???? Here, take the light stick!’ And yeets the darksaber at him only for Jaster to squeak and yell that he was voted into the position and never held that thing in his life and now they’re arguing over Mand’alor and how to take care of the people while Grogu, Jango and Luke are just standing there like 👁👄👁

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Omega Din/Omega Luke/Alpha Mara. She cannot keep up with them. Insatiable. Plz let her sleep.

Luke and Din: *just bein themselves*

Leia: ...how do you keep up-

Mara: I buy them toys.

Leia: ...oh...

Mara: So many toys. They have as big a toy box as Grogu does.

Leia: ...oh my god...

They keep stealing her shirts (her gross sweaty workout shirts too ew wtf) when they’re nesting which happens at least once a month and she’s getting tired of it. Leia is having trouble keeping up with one omega she feels bad for this woman.

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Modern AU Din does ‘buir and me’ classes with Luke who is trans and gave birth to his and Mara’s kiddo Ben last year and also Leia who’s got two year old twins and ends up wrapped up in Skywalker drama when he has no need or want to be anywhere near this specific brand of bullshit plz he’s just trying to be a dad and keep his thoughts below 5 a day thank you.

Also people ask what he does for a living and he always says ‘acquisitions’ and they think he works for a museum or something but then it turns out his main daily routine involves weird ass trades between people but like farmers market type trades like he traded 100lbs kryat meat to a mechanic to fix his car (again lmao) but he got that meat by killing the thing but to kill the thing he had to broker a trade deal between two small villages out in the sand wastes and to do that he had to make friends with both of them first but also his neighbor wanted a slab of the meat too so he gave her a good 25lbs of meat and she just. Randomly. Handed him a weird ass machine for it. Which turned out to be a spare part his OTHER neighbor needed a week later and in return the guy gave him 20lbs of raw honey-

Do you see what I mean??? He’s a modern day witch thank you. That’s what he told the police officer that asked him why he was bleaching bones on top of his roof last month and that’s what we’re sticking to.

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Luke yells at force ghost Yoda to get out here and tell him how to cook Grogu his favorite stew from the creche as a kid but to outsiders (a confused Din that thinks them edibles he accidentally ate on Boba’s ship on the way over here before Fennec told them they were spice laced, are really kicking in) is losing his mind as he watches his son’s teacher hold a seance to get his old man’s famous gimmer and frog stew recipe and he’s just. Staring at his hands. Wondering why they look so big. Grogu is concerned for his father. Boba is used to this force banthaossik (unfortunately) and is recording it for future blackmail. Fennec has disappeared to snoop around Luke’s house and has found Mara, who’s trying to Not Get Involved and now they’re dangerously close to making an alliance. It’s gonna be wild.

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Din gets hurt one day (broke his damn leg) and Boba (official dumb-mandalorian wrangler) refused to let him off planet cause they have all his medical stuff here and he’s just gonna hurt himself, but that unfortunately means that Din can’t pick Grogu up for his home time, so Luke has the uncomfortable job of walking into the forcer Jabba’s palace, with a baby, to hand the baby to the new King of Tatooine’s boytoy, who’s playing with massiff pups and hanging out with dangerous bounty hunters. And let me tell you. Luke is having a Time Of It. He’s already homesick just from being back on planet, but this is like the weirdest twilight zone he’s had to go to this month. Also Luke is trans and pregnant with his and Mara’s first kid in my mind for some reason???? Ya.

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Fennec: *pouring a bottle of paint into a tray* Do you think this stuff is toxic?

Din: Ive seen my kid eat it, and he’s still around, so it’s probably fine.

Boba: *actively stopping Fennec when she looks like that might be see as a challenge* It’s toxic to humans, don’t.

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Civilian: Your helmet looks blinding in the sunlight. Paint it a different colour.

Din: Bitch, when I’m done with you, milk will never taste the same again.

Boba: *after watching the civie run away* What... what does that mean?

Din: I have no idea. The only way I know how to threaten is using a gun, but I’m trying to avoid actual violence since I became a dad. I think my kid likes it too much.

Boba: ...I’m gonna start using that...

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Force Ghost Obi-Wan: *stands up with a loud stretch and a yawn* Well, I should leave you all to… whatever this is. I have an appointment with your sister.

Luke: ??? You have an appointment with my sister?

Fennec: God, I wish I had an appointment with the princess. *gay thirst*

Din: Why is a ghost yawning?

FG Obi-Wan: Yeah, we take tea around this time once a week. She asks about Bail and Breha and what they feel in the force, and then I mediate between her and Anakin so she doesn’t kill herself just to beat the shit outta him. She’s real determained that she doesn’t die early just to hurt him. That he doesn’t win.

Boba: That’s cool, can we start having those appointments too? I feel like ending it early just to punch him sometimes myself. I have a list actually. Probably not as strong as General Organa though.

Din: *distressed* Why are you yawning? You’re a ghost? Are you tired? Am I still gonna be tired after I die? Oh this is so stressful to learn.

Luke: *gently pats Din on the helmet* It’s okay, buddy, I think it’s just a leftover from being alive and human once.

FG Obi-Wan: *decides not to tell the Mand’alor he is often and regularly tired but it’s most from Anakin’s bullshit* Heh, yeah, some habits die hard.

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Din, on a new side quest: Oh, we should try to finish this up before Saturday. That’s when my weekend with my kid starts. Well, they would accept pushing it ahead a few days, but why wait to see my lil whomp rat, right?

Local: Oh? Did you lose custody of the kiddo because of your job?

Din: What?? I didn’t lose custody, I gave him up to a prestigious boarding school. It’s really good and fancy and he’s getting the best education I could find him, I just don’t get to see him as much as I want.

Locals: *tearing up* o-oh.

Din: *leaning in to tell a secret* Sometimes, when I miss him a lot more than usual, I head to the planet he’s on and crash on his teacher’s couch, saying I couldn’t find any jobs and I’m low on gas money so I’m just gonna stay till it’s time to visit. He never buys it but he sets up the kiddo’s crib next to the couch and I get to watch him till I leave again.

Locals: 😭😍😭😍😭

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Luke: :/ *watching Din with Grogu on his unarmored chest so the baby has a place to cuddle*

Din: What’s wrong?

Luke: Nothing. Grogu just… loves you a lot. It’s cute.

Grogu: Patu! ‘Galaxy cold. Dada’s tiddies warm and soft.’

Luke: :/ wish that were me

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Grogu: I tried reading dads mind once.

Ahsoka, always ready for gossip: oh???

Grogu: You know that tone a comm makes when the line is busy?

Ahsoka: omfg ya?

Grogu: I heard that. He’d been staring at a wall for three hours I just wanted to make sure he was okay.

Ahsoka: omfg he was vibin

Grogu: Ive never seen him so relaxed before.

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Din: *15yo, shows up to the Mandalorian meeting 10 minutes late and looking wild* Sorry.

Paz: *19yo* God, we were about to send someone in after you, thought you’d fallen in the fresher.

Din: *is suspiciously silent*

Paz: ...

Armorer: ...Din... did you fall and get hurt?

Paz: ...holy shit he did! Are you okay?

Din: *doesnt want to admit he got stuck in his blacks and couldn’t get out of them before slipping on a water puddle and nearly braining himself on the wall* ...I was ATTACKED-

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Kal: *coming over with a pile of datawork for Jaster to do* Jas… what’s Jango doing in the corner?

Jango: *in the corner and tapping at the wall with one foot*

Jaster: *is supervising cause Jango thinks he’s grown enough to take himself out of timeout when Buir isn’t watching* he bit Montross. Pretty hard, too.

Kal: *desperately wishes he could have seen it himself, will def give the kid a treat for that* Hmm :/…