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It’s like “She’s so sexy I’m literally drooling and barking God forgive me I am sinning I am lusting” yeah and your maximum level of intimacy with that woman is gonna be sculpting her in marble. I don’t think anyone goes to hell for that

Being asexual is hilarious because sometimes my brain will tell me “I need him to destroy me. I need him to BLEEEEP me into next Tuesday.” And then I’m like, “hm, okay, care to elaborate on that?”

And… crickets.

“Any idea what you actually want him to do to you?” And my brain is like, “Y’know what. I didn’t plan that far ahead.”

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Being asexual is hilarious because sometimes my brain will tell me “I need him to destroy me. I need him to BLEEEEP me into next Tuesday.” And then I’m like, “hm, okay, care to elaborate on that?”

And… crickets.

“Any idea what you actually want him to do to you?” And my brain is like, “Y’know what. I didn’t plan that far ahead.”

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They kicked me off instagram because I posted too much Weird Al. My love for him has to go somewhere so deal with it

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I want to live out the rest of my days as a bat

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Should I do this? 

my grubhub being delivered by a wizard or some sort of apostle

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….. is this….. me?

Shout out to Linda. The he/him asexual woman from my psychology quiz from a few years ago

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This is so true

when i have a crush i dont kick my feet or twirl my hair instead i am in my kitchen at 3am pacing in circles with my hands clasped behind my back like a middle-aged divorced detective haunted by a cold case he just cant crack

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Weirdly I don’t like the look of orange in nature 😭 but I like artificial orange.

everyone hates orange until they actually see her in context. "oh it's such an ugly color, too bright!" look at sunsets and autumn, look at campfires and deserts. she's the most beautiful and special part of the scene. now apologize.

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No. I want the original

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Starting to suspect this might be the human condition

"describe your symptoms" brother i have felt like this since i was 12 unrelentingly

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PLEASSEEEE I LOVE HIM

I know I’m late to the fandom, but I think we should all talk about how fucking funny Beetlejuice is at The Tony’s

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Yes

I finally got to actually see Beetlejuice!

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more good omens!! literally whats up with these guys

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Me watching all my ships fall apart because I don’t know how to build ships: :0

Hey Lawrence . . . what are your thoughts on self-ship? or is that weird?

“Uhhh… I mean as long as your ship’s still above the water you could probably sail it yourself.

It might have to be the smaller kind. Ya know. Bigger ones need a bigger crew and all…. Unless you had a really really good system or something…

It’s not weird. There are way weirder things…”

“…but what would I know- do I look like a fuckin sailor??”

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Actually on second thought… I just realized they bullied Arthur Conan Doyle into resurrecting Sherlock so maybe I was a little mistaken

The harassment of Neil Gaiman after good omens 2 proves that we should do things the old fashioned way! Authors should be dead or otherwise unable to be contacted, that way you have nowhere to send your complaints.

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The harassment of Neil Gaiman after good omens 2 proves that we should do things the old fashioned way! Authors should be dead or otherwise unable to be contacted, that way you have nowhere to send your complaints.