professionallyprocrastinating

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starting to suspect that tech bros actually just don’t know what reading is

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I’m a writer, I also dream about work…

i had a dream that time travel was invented and too many people choose to travel back in time to save the titanic from sinking (the question of whether unsinking of the titanic deserved so much attention in the face of human history was the subject of both heavy academic and online discourse), which caused a rift in the space-time-continuum that led to the titanic showing up indiscriminately all over the world’s oceans and sea in various states of sinking.

this caused a lot of issues both in terms of fixing said space-time-continuum and in terms of nautical navigation, and after a long and heavy battle in the international maritime organization it was decided that the bureaucratic burden of dealing with this was to be upon Ireland, much to their dismay. the Irish Government then released an app for all sailors and seafarers so they could report titanic sightings during their journeys, even though they heavily dissuaded you from reporting them given the paperwork it caused.

anyway i woke up with a clear image of the app in my head and needed to recreate it for all of you:

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I think it's so funny how we bred JOBS into dogs. I have two shih tzus and they were bred to be lap dogs. All they care about is looking cute and cuddling with people. Meanwhile my grandma has a border collie and that dog needs to feel so useful all the time, he acts like he will pass away if he doesn't have a job to do constantly

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Daughter of fantasy villains decides to rebel against her parents by actually going through with her arranged marriage to a local golden retriever of a prince instead of running off with some local villain-to-be or conquering said golden retriever’s kingdom and ruling it solo like her parents expect her to. Plus, sue her, she’s into the clean-cut earnest look.

At the same time, local prince charming discovers that he’s actually very into the gothic fiance his parents have landed him with in order to try and establish peace with the local evil lair down the lane, he would never have guessed a spiderweb pattern could look so fetching on a ball gown…?

Meanwhile, two pairs of parents in a tizzy because they both expected their offspring to whole-heartedly reject this union and give them an excuse to conquer their goody-two-shoes/evil neighbours, they’re not supposed to actually like each other-!

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Welcome 🍉

My brother Karim and my family are to all good people in the world to help them.

my family from Gaza, were displaced from their home due to the war, leaving behind everything they owned. During the journey, they faced many difficulties and challenges, and they did not lose hope for a better future after your donations and support.

Asking for help is not easy, I ask for a small donation of only 20€ from each person, 20€ will save my family from death in Gaza 💔 Donate through the link in bio (gofundme) Together, we can achieve our goal within a day and provide crucial support to me and my family in Gaza. Your contribution means everything to us and in these difficult times your kindness is our greatest hope. We are very grateful for any assistance you can provide and thank you for your kindness and generosity in our time of need .♥️🇵🇸

Scam

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M

Headcanon that Luke and Obi Wan got the money to pay Han Solo by selling the moisture farm at bargain-basement prices in Anchorhead without telling anyone that it was totally torched, and by the time anyone find out they were well off planet. Luke now has a reputation as one of Tattooine’s most famous con men despite the fact that it was Obi Wan who ran the con.

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Personally, I think that it’s partly because women and girls stopped putting up with bad behavior.

Men and boys who’d been socialised to think that not being a complete jerk was enough to get a girlfriend fell down the Misogyny hole as a result, and there was no one to pull them out because women rightfully decided that the male of the species could fix their own problems.

Except that the same toxic masculinity that was the source of them getting rejected told them that personal development is ‘weak’ and ‘unmanly’, so they didn’t.

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How did staying home for Palestine work out for you?

I'm sure many people have already shared this here, but I think it's important that people here on Tumblr need to see this.

"I disagree with Kamala's position on the war in Gaza. How can I vote for her?" by US Senator Bernie Sanders

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You are a vile morally empty child, how dare you shame people who won’t vote for their families killer. Die shitting in a hole, worm

My inbox this morning, because I made a post justifiably worried about the results of the election

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A perfect example of how Patriarchy hurts men, too: the Kens were so busy competing against each other that friendship never even crossed their mind.

i think the difference between the barbie's treatment of ken's in barbieland vs the ken's treatment of barbie's in kendom can be summed up pretty easily actually:

barbie's ignored ken, realistically they were given an opportunity to have their own lives and do what they wanted and they didn't do it. everything revolved around their barbie's, ken would only have a good day if barbie did or if barbie acknowledged him. they never tried to do anything they genuinely wanted to.

whereas when the ken's took over, they brainwashed the barbie's into liking them and doing things for them. they would bring them beers and act like waitresses, give them foot massages or watch films they otherwise wouldn't be interested in. they became mindless and existed to serve the ken's. they were no longer just friends with the barbie's, they didn't want barbie to love them back, they wanted to own them.

people talking about ken falling down the patriarchy pipeline out of neglect or loneliness but why couldn't the ken's form friendships and communities like the barbie's did? why is it up to barbie to ensure that ken doesn't feel that way? at what point is it acceptable to blame barbie for ken's feelings? barbie let ken come to her party, watched him beach, held him whilst he went to the hospital, agreed to let him go on her journey, says hi to him when she sees him, things friends do and things she's shown doing with all the other barbie's, but if he still feels loneliness after that because she doesn't want to kiss him or doesn't love him back, why is that barbie's fault? meanwhile the entire time ken is ignoring other ken's out of his fixation on barbie and is even trying to "beach" other ken's off and causing problems with other ken's to gain barbie's attention

to me it's the perfect representation of the real world in the sense that women will leave men alone, men will want to own women, and women will be blamed for men's neglect and loneliness but it's a paper cage they create for themselves because they refuse to see women as individuals and arguably they don't actively try to create and nurture communities in the same way women do. ken's story is sad yes, but it's a story of his own design and what makes it worse is that he blames barbie for it. not himself, not mattel, no the real world but barbie, who's friendly disinterest in him means that she should be the one who is blamed and punished

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K

I have been thinking lately about a universe where Bruce Wayne killed the Joker.

I want to be clear here, since there are so many longstanding debates on this topic: I do not think Bruce Wayne should kill the Joker. I have just been wondering what would happen if the circumstances aligned in such a way that he did.

And to be clear on a related, yet slightly different topic: when I say I have been wondering about what if Bruce Wayne killed the Joker, I do not mean as the Batman. I mean Bruce "Brucie" Wayne.

Maybe it's kind of an accident? Like, he definitely did intend to hit the Joker, but he's Brucie right now, so he's trying not to look like he knows what he's doing while still doing enough damage to keep the Joker from killing someone, and meanwhile the Joker makes just the wrong move and -

And here we are. Brucie just killed the Joker.

Bruce's reaction here is one thing; he has his one rule for a reason, he's just broken it, he's determined to turn himself in -

His family's reaction is a whole different story. How does Cass feel about this?

How does Jason? Bruce has killed the Joker, just like he wanted, but it wasn't for him, not really, and -

And meanwhile, this happens in front of, say, a gala full of people, so now all of Gotham gets to react to it too.

Average Gothamite, seeing the words BRUCE WAYNE, JOKER, and KILLED in the same headline: OH, NO.

Average Gothamite, once they've processed the order those words are actually in: . . . I did not have that on this year's bingo card.

The city's most famous mass murderer has just been publicly killed by the city's biggest employer/philanthropist/source of tabloid harmless nonsense! Three days before Brucie was making tabloid headlines by tripping into a fountain and somehow losing his shirt in the process! Two weeks before, the newspaper was running a retrospective on the Wayne murders and what donation Brucie was making to help the families of victims this year! The article mentioned how one of his adopted sons had also tragically become a murder victim!

Now this has happened, and Bruce is having a breakdown over breaking his one rule, and the rest of Gotham just assumes that this is because poor Brucie thinks this somehow makes him like the man who killed his parents. They send a huge outpouring of support his way. This in no way helps Bruce's actual breakdown.

Ninety percent of Gotham is sure Brucie didn't actually mean to kill the Joker, and pretty much a hundred percent of them support him whether he meant to do it or not. No one wants to have anything to do with prosecuting this mess. Bruce is trying to make it as clear as possible that he will fully cooperate with the justice system and meanwhile an entire gala full of people is suddenly acting like they could in no way have possibly witnessed events that took place ten feet in front of their faces. Did Bruce kill the Joker? Is the officer sure? That doesn't seem like him. Maybe the Joker just tripped on his own. Marble floors, you know. Very slippery.

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You know what also makes me so mad about Civil War? The fact that they completely invalidated Natasha’s speech at the end of The Winter Soldier.

“You’re not going to put us in a prison. You’re not going to put any of us in a prision. You know why? Because you need us. Yes the world is a vulnerable place and yes we help make it that way but we’re also the ones best qualified to defend it.”

They put the Avengers in the Raft and Natasha sided with the government. Steve’s “the safest hands are still our own” aligned perfectly with what Nat said and yet they stuck her on Team Iron Man because plot.

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ppl are rlly trying to defend being on your phone during a movie in the theater what is going on

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I’m about to ruin your guys day. Let’s talk about canon and fanon. Dick Grayson edition. I’ve realized that some people don’t actually know what’s canon and what’s fanon. (It’s okay to like what’s fanon more than what’s canon, but I want to clear some things up)

Cooking: Dick can actually cook! Literally everyone says that he can’t cook, but he can! He has cooked for his younger brother (Tim Drake) numerous times! I’m pretty sure he’s cooked with the Titans too.

Singing: Dick is one of the only batfam member’s who can sing. In fact Dick is good at literally everything. (Not EVERYTHING but he can do most things)

Kindness: Don’t get me wrong Dick is a sweetheart but some people make it seem like he’s sweet, in a very dumb way. My point is that he’s nice, but not to the extent people make it out to be.

Brothers: This has to do with Dick and Tim, but I still want to add it. Most people think that Tim’s favorite brother is Jason. This is not the case. Tim is the closest with Dick. After Jason died, whatever Dick didn’t do for Jason, he did for Tim. He even trained Tim.

Ps: Tim even grew up with Dick as Robin.

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Please.

Public transport is already a sensory overwhelm.

I don’t need my brain trying to process a dozen different TikTok videos on speaker as well

TikTok update where the app won't open unless the user is wearing earphones

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This is just your casual reminder that the Jedi were not the bad guys, they weren't morally or philosophically in the wrong, and they certainly didn't do anything to deserve what happened to them.

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Republicans can't win without threatening and committing violence. January 6th-like insurrections and election tampering will happen in states all across the country this time. Don't let her down!