probablydoingtheworm

[probablydoingtheworm]

ok hear me out, this thing, but I use it to hold a hotdog and some apple juice :>

[probablydoingtheworm]

i’m a simple girl i see a man with big arms and a kind heart and i get a little stupid

[probablydoingtheworm]

i’ve been thinking about this a lot lately but i’m approaching the end of my undergrad and having to contemplate moving back home, starting life, maybe going to grad school, and all of these other things

is there ever gonna be a point where i’m allowed to just sit and rest?

i mean, ever since entering the school system, i feel like i’ve just been looking for the next thing i’m responsible for. in elementary school, i was looking forward to joining a program in middle school. in middle school, i was looking forward to joining an academy in high school, and high school was all about mentally preparing for college. quietly anticipating my next moves had come with a long-term stress like nothing else

there’s always something new to worry about, you know? i always have something in the future to feel anxiety over.

i hope i’m able to find a moment where i don’t have to think about what i’m doing next, no responsibilities, no future problems, no deadlines, no obligations, nothing that i’m able to borrow grief from now.

i just wanna sit somewhere and exist.

[probablydoingtheworm]

i’ve long forgotten her voice but i’ll never forget the sound of her laugh

i’ve walked the same places a million times over and they will always feel empty when compared to the times we roamed them together

i remember her locker combination and her phone password but but those numbers changed years ago

bits and pieces resurface and i don’t know whether i should break down or put a hole in the wall, or acknowledge the memory and keep moving. does she want me to keep moving?

i lost her but she’s right here with me

she will always be with me

[probablydoingtheworm]

you have to outlive donald trump

[probablydoingtheworm]

today i woke up and the seasonal depression mixed with general anxiety and uni stress was just not a good mix so i decided to go for a run

and when i went outside the clouds were just beginning to turn pink and the bees and the red hummingbirds were enjoying the little yellow flowers on the bush next to me. and THEN i found a dying moth in the middle of the road. it was missing an antenna and several legs and flying upside down. it was such a beautiful moth and i was just so stressed out and numb and whatever else that i just started sobbing thinking about this moth. like yeah i know they don’t live very long and i know he was probably just a tad too hurt to help but i stayed with him for as long as he would let me. he stayed in my hand for a good ten minutes before he attempted to fly away but all he did was hit the pavement and i started crying more

i woke up with such a negative view of the world and all the stuff i have to do today. i got assigned a paper that’s due tonight, several assignments for other classes, i’m trying to stay active and feed myself good things, worrying about money and getting enough sleep (and US election stress)

but everything felt so trivial after interacting for just a few moments with all of these creatures. there’s probably a meaning or a message to take away from all of this but i don’t know if i have the words for it right now

i’ve also added my picture of said moth

[probablydoingtheworm]

gen z has to reckon with its radicalization problem. you are not a morally pure and superior generation of youth come to save the world, your men and boys are radicalized at an unprecedented level and you ignore it because it’s too hard to address but you have to. these boys are in your classes, they date your friends, you know them and you cannot continue to pretend this is an “old white guy” problem

[probablydoingtheworm]

there’s something to be said about the inherent romantic nature of two people sharing a cigarette; they each touch their lips to something, but their lips themselves would never touch.

they might be strangers, or secretly in love, or plainly platonic, but aren’t we all a little in love with each other anyway? it’s only a matter of time before you decide what a person means to you.

[probablydoingtheworm]

me getting silly in the pussy if im being honest ?

[probablydoingtheworm]

I love war and starbucks and lion king live action remakes

[probablydoingtheworm]

barnie (short for barnacle)

[probablydoingtheworm]

anjali_yyy on pinterest / unknown / agamemnon - aeschylus / unknown / yearningforyourlove on tiktok / lookinginsidemymind on tiktok / woh_kaun_thi on pinterest

[probablydoingtheworm]

[probablydoingtheworm]

↪ Alfonsina Storni, from Mask & Clover: Poems "The Siren" / Tumblr / Unknown from Pinterest / Unknown from Pinterest / Warsan Shire / Linger by The Cranberries / Don’t Delete the Kisses by Wolf Alice / Vladimir Nabokov / Tumblr

[probablydoingtheworm]

i. The Unabridged Journals of Sylvia Plath, Sylvia Plath / ii. As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks 1964-1980, Susan Sontag / iii. Suddenly, It's December, Margaux Paul / iv. Waiting for This Story to End Before I Begin Another, Jan Heller Levi / v. The Picture of Dorian Gray, Oscar Wilde / vi. The Letters of Gustave Flaubert: 1830-1857, Gustave Flaubert / vii. unknown / viii. @inanotherunivrse / ix. @violentcherries / x. Heaven, Mieko Kawakami (thank u @aworsening for attaching the sources)

[probablydoingtheworm]

on friends, who maybe want to be a little more than that

@fuckitloveu @mothicalspoken

[probablydoingtheworm]

when all you have is a hammer, everything looks like a nail. when all you have is a paintbrush, everything looks like a canvas. when all you have is a cock, everything looks like the exhaust pipe of a 2014 honda civic. so yes, to answer your question, i am stuck. please call the emergency services