prismshard-system

[prismshard-system]

i think fixing our computer and getting on it regularly made new alters appear (likely from dormancy) and its kinda got us fucked up man

[prismshard-system]

i still dont want to be awake

[prismshard-system]

theres been a system shift of some sort idk its been "new" people near front

[prismshard-system]

Reminder

DID isn't just having fun people in your head

Along with shifts in personality, it's often times:

amnesia: 'waking up' with no memory of what's going on

travelling and having no idea where you are or how you got there

dizziness

confusion

spacing out

headaches

feeling broken & worthless

fear

not knowing why or how you're wearing what you're wearing

nausea

pain

anxiety

finding things amongst your belongings you don't remember acquiring

time loss

depression

suicidal ideation & action

spikes in inexplicable emotion, especially anger, fear, and shame

body and voice dysphoria

depersonalization & derealisation

loss of control

hearing voices

finding injuries you don't remember getting

self harm

not recognising friends/family/colleagues

forgetting important events (birthdays, parties, graduations etc)

mood shifts with seemingly no trigger

finding notes in similar handwriting but something about it is slightly off

flashbacks: somatic flashbacks, nightmares, split second flashbacks to 'little things' but not getting more detail

bed wetting

age regression

inadvertently lying, or being questioned if you have

feeling like your body isn't yours

knowing something is wrong, but not what

wondering why your body doesn't align with your perceived sex (for alters whose gender/sex don't align with the body)

watching your body do things and having no control over it (feeling like a puppet or like playing a video-game in 3rd person)

mass fluctuations in libido: fluctuations from hypersexual to zero sexual desire

not being sure if things really happened, or whether you imagined/thought about them

identity confusion

+ many more

I have two book recommendations DID experiences: "All Of Me" by Kim Noble, and "The Girl in The Green Dress" by Jeni Haynes. Please check trigger warnings.

[prismshard-system]

plural culture is someone doing something and the current fronter and the alter who did it not remembering it even a few hours later, like our memory is a bridge disappearing as we walk over it

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[prismshard-system]

plural culture is taking a personality test and wanting to answer some of the questions with "agree" and "disagree" at the same time.

"i'm an energetic person"? i don't know, it really depends on which person you are asking about.

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[prismshard-system]

Plural culture is procrastinating your headmates' projects

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[prismshard-system]

traumagen (or at least partially traumagen) plural culture is realizing WAY too many headmates share a similar kind of trauma, and hoping it's just a coincidence and that we didn't actually go through it bodily and don't remember

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[prismshard-system]

plural culture is the difficulty of trying to meditate. it's hard enough to make my own thoughts shut up, imagine us all trying to stay silent!!!

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[prismshard-system]

Plural culture is having a friend ask who’s fronting and no one being able to tell because you’re all so dissociated that you forgot which traits are yours… it's also only your partner being able to tell who’s fronting because they haven’t forgotten.

“Who am I babe?”

“You’re that one bitch who’s scared of fruit.”

[prismshard-system]

i can barely think. physical touhc feels so far away from me. i gtry to ground but it isnt working

[prismshard-system]

still thinking about how people said i sounded wounded the moment i talked during a voice call

[prismshard-system]

I think people gotta understand when you're plural is that the majority of the time you can't control your/alters sources. they just happen sometimes. nothing to be upset about or ashamed of, hope this makes other systems feel better.

[prismshard-system]

[prismshard-system]

where did the time go??? 1 hour on art, 2 on gaming, did i seriously spend that long on cs????? i really need to quit that thing. feels like a shit day. no productivity. cant even fucken type

[prismshard-system]

addicted to dopamine lol!! :P (help me)

[prismshard-system]

i literally couldnt remember drawing earlier for a good ten minutes while trying to recount the day. things very normal for this disorder continues to befuddle me.