primordialdragon-blog

[primordialdragon-blog]

But what about the several billion tons of rock that'll get in my eyes and mouth?

Eat your minerals.

You’ll never be big and strong like Mama if you keep skipping your supplements--

[primordialdragon-blog]

How to cut several hours out of your travel time going around a mountain range to the next human settlement before they can evacuate:

Just walk through the damn thing.

#DragonMomLifeHacks

[primordialdragon-blog]

"Happy... parent day!" Nice save Angra, nice save.

A sated Tiamat coos, a contented rumble sounding in her chest.

She curls her tail in around Angra to gather him up close to her. Her special baby is getting cuddles for his attentions, yes he is.

[primordialdragon-blog]

She wake.

[primordialdragon-blog]

Why did you make Gorgon your vessel?

“(She is like me. She is large. She is strong. She was betrayed. She is hungry.)” A small nod. “(I only wanted her to be me. She ended up going back to humans; a shame.)”

[primordialdragon-blog]

So most legends depict you as being a heavily bloated dragon?

“AAAAAAAAAAAAA--?!”

Ex-CUSE you?!

Unbelievable. Unbelievable! This is why she desperately needs to erase humanity!

...Mother can’t help it if she’s a little squishy around the midriff.She-- just has winter weight.

For the past billion years.

Shush.

[primordialdragon-blog]

Awakens.

Crushes a city as she stretches.

“Aa.”

And nothing of value was lost.

[primordialdragon-blog]

You are all wrong. Mom is the cutest.

[primordialdragon-blog]

Suddenly, Female!Merlin appears, Slam dunking her male counterpart into the Sea in hopes it actually helps PURIFY him by two negatives making a positive

And thus Merlin has been pushed beneath the black ichor around the primordial dragon, vanishing into the infinite expanse of Tiamat’s being. RIP fuckboy.

“(No.)”

Tiamat abruptly plunges an arm into her torso, ripping into her own hide, before she unceremoniously plucks Merlin back from the gore-tattered opening and flicks him to the ground.

“(You are not welcome within me. When this world comes to end that my children may rise, you are going with it.)”

[primordialdragon-blog]

Remember, kiddos! For just a low, low price, you can have your Saint Graph ratified to become a child of the Beast Class with power over humanity!

All you must do is succumb to the sea.

[primordialdragon-blog]

magusofdeflouration liked your post:Hello, naughty children. It’s murder time.

“(Hm. The flowery wizard.)”

“(You tasted awful, by the way.)”

[primordialdragon-blog]

themooncell replied to your post: Hello, naughty children. It’s murder time.

That’s Leviathan’s favorite time. Can she join in on the human-annihilating?

Hm. Glances over.

Hm. Hm, hm, hm. 

A serpent of the sea. This is very much like a child she might have borne in her time.

Yes, very well, Leviathan can accompany. Just remember who leads and who follows, and they should be fine--

[primordialdragon-blog]

Hello, naughty children.

It’s murder time.

[primordialdragon-blog]

nordiixa:

✕    Brynaltr’s bottom lip began to tremble until Tiamat answered her, and her worried expression was replaced with a relieved smile… until Tiamat covered her completely from view. Brynaltr’s old fears of small places bubbled up, and she grew uncomfortable with this progression immediately, squirming where she was held. 

And what was happening where she could not see? And why was everything suddenly darker?

“(You and I, little one,)” Tiamat coos, tenderly stroking the other still, “(are going to be very close for a little while. You’d like that, yes? To be closer?)”

As Brynaltr begins to squirm, Tiamat’s grip on her firms just a touch more, just to keep her secure.

“(Now, now... There’s no need for that.)” She gives a contented rumble in her chest, gently vibrating Brynaltr. “(Mother has you, little one. There is no cause for a fuss~...)”

[primordialdragon-blog]

nordiixa:

✕    However…? There was a however to her loving her? Nothing counted if there was a however involved. Brynaltr frowned and looked at Tiamat with vague wonder, concerned over what might come next until it finally did.

She… wasn’t good enough for her? Brynaltr blinked rapidly, her mouth opening as she thought of what to say. So if she was more of mankind than otherwise, something that Tiamat did not like, then how was Brynaltr supposed to fix that? She was who she was — was Tiamat going to abandon her? She couldn’t be abandoned again! Not for a third time! Not for a THIRD time!

In her haste, Brynaltr did not notice the black sea sinking back into the monster.

Even as her mother nuzzled her, Brynaltr gave a sudden outburst, “Please don’t leave me! Make me whole! Whatever that means! — But I can’t be forgotten again, please don’t!”

Tiamat felt something unexpected, something the first from millenia ago as the other suddenly clung to her more desperately -- a pang in her black heart. She was feeling pain, for somebody else.

It was a good pain...she wanted more of it. Yes, she had been willing to let this child of hers remain halfway if she so chose, but now there was absolutely no way she’d let her be anything other than perfect.

“(Don’t be silly...)”

Tiamat folded her arms around Brynaltr, cuddling her into her chest, wrapping her tail over her so that not a single inch of her was uncovered.

“(You are mine now. Mine forever and always...)” Her finger stroked the other’s head tenderly. “(And I am never letting you go.)”

The outermost of Tiamat’s torso began to darken, her hide distorting and melting away gradually, a black pool beginning to form upon her surface...

[primordialdragon-blog]

Tiamat is the strongest mom.

Yes, she is.

[primordialdragon-blog]

Something that really amuses me is the outright Rasputinian methods you have to use to kill Tiamat.

First, Enkidu (the chains) are used by Kingu in an attempt to hold her. The chains are stronger the more divinity the target possesses, and given Tiamat is the Primordial Goddess of Mesopotamian mythos, of course she has that shit maxed out. Except, she is so tough that she still breaks through it.

So your crew is like “well Ok Then, what now”, but then you recall your silly dumb adventure in the underworld because Ereshkigal is kind of a dick, and you remember, OH YEAH, THE UNDERWORLD, that has a super heavy Anti-Divinity aspect! Unlike containment, that works directly on Tiamat’s strength! Let’s dump this giant bitch in there like a donut in coffee!

So you do, and she’s like “AAAAAAAAAAA” (”WHAT THE FUCK”) but she’s still utterly unkillable because Tiamat simply lacks a concept of dead, so she [Shirou Voice] won’t die if you can’t kill her, so while she is weaker than before, she is still is stupidly strong and, well, unkillable.

“MAN, IF ONLY WE COULD, LIKE, KILL THIS UNKILLABLE, LOUD LADY” your pals wonder.

BUT THEN, Ziusudra, an old man NPC that has been with you here and there in the Babylonia chapter, is like “PSYCHE” and removes his disguise and it is actually KING HASSAN and the only hint to this was that Ziusudra holds his cane in the same way and pose Hassanest holds his sword, and you are like “hold ON how the wtf are you here! This is historically incorrect!”, and he’s like “ok so like I respect you a lot from the big help you provided us with back in Camelot, and you remember I promised I’d help you when you needed it? WELL, THIS IS IT” so what happened is that he basically summoned himself with you as the Master (he can do this because he’s King Hassan and King Hassan does whatever the FUCK King Hassan wants), and outright dropped his Grand Servant title and became a regular Servant simply to help you because King Hassan is the fucking greatest, and he CUTS Tiamat’s wings off, prompting an “AAAAAAAA!” (”OKAY THAT’S JUST RUDE NOW”), simultaneously running mortality.exe and installing the Concept of Death in Tiamat.

So between the debuff from being literally in God Hell, having her wings cut off, and having Mister Assassin Himself inject the idea of things dying when they are killed in her, Tiamat was finally killable. This all meant only one problem remained: Actually fucking killing her, because she was still ungodly powerful and terrifyingly strong. Like, just being close to her kills you because of the Primordial Sea’s Chaos Tides (which translates in game to dealing straight up 4k damage to your whole party at the end of each of Tiamat’s turns just from being close to her), but FOR THAT, we grab ANOTHER GRAND SERVANT, Merlin, who also Came To Play, who gives you the Wizard of Flowers and Protection From The Netherworld blessings, which let you, like, survive being near Tiamat (represented in game by massive defensive and offensive buffs and 4k HP regen at the end of your turns), and thus allowing you to punch her in her big toothy face, which you DO, but surprise, Tiamat is REALLY GOOD AT TAKING PUNCHES IN THE FACE, so she doesn’t really go down that easily, all the while nuking you with laser beams, so it takes Caster Gil saying “ONE SECOND”, taking of his shirt, finding Ea in his shed, and gelling his hair straight up to come and blast Tiamat’s face with Enuma Elish a couple of times, which doesn’t fully do the trick, but it certainly works, because then your face punches added up to it, and Tiamat finally lets out a dying “aaaaa” (”this party fuckin sux, I’m LEAVING”) and dies when she’s killed, and that’s how you spend a truly monumental amount of time wrestling with a very loud, very big lady.

And then you have Kiara who is like “OHH I WILL BE A BEAST SO I CAN BE PUNISHED BY MANY HEROES~” and goes down because she didn’t update Norton Antivirus, and honestly, I’m kinkshaming.