primesinister

[primesinister]

if it sucks hit da bricks <- litany against sunk cost

take it easy but take it <- litany against burnout/apathy cycle

fuck it we ball <- litany against perfectionism

now say something beautiful and true <- litany against irony poisoning

[primesinister]

okay so i work in the deli of a grocery store, yeah? and today i got this guy who came up with his two twin children, around five years old. he walks up to the counter, carrying one kid in each arm, and loudly goes "oh, no, i forgot what i wanted!" and turns to the boy in his left arm and, in a perfect blues clues style voice, goes "caleb, do you remember what i wanted?" and the boy goes "half pound of yellow cheese!"

i, obviously, say "you've got it little sir!" and slice up half a pound of yellow american cheese, handing it to the little boy, who looks it over, nods, and tucks it in his lap.

then the man goes "well, we can't just have cheese on our sandwiches. but what else can we put on there?" and the little gurl in his other arm goes "half pound of ham!" so i nod and say "yes ma'am! what kind?" and she points at a random cut of turkey, so her father nods and says "like she said, honey ham!" i cut half a pound of honey ham, hand it to the little lady, she looks it over, nods and puts it in her lap.

then the man goes "now, what should we have for the side?" and the kids both simultaneously start cheering "macking cheese!!!" and the man spins on his heel and marches off, presumably to find the macking cheese.

later, the little boy comes wandering back to the counter while his father looks on and loudly and proudly proclaims that he wants to know where the mustard is. i point him to the correct aisle, he nods, says "thank you mister deli woman" and walks away.

[primesinister]

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The celebrity Ben & Jerry's ice cream flavors being some of the best ones is like the retail equivalent of having to go to a restaurant and order a rootin tootin yeehaw cowboy burger or something

[primesinister]

[primesinister]

English spelling isn't that hard to understand as long as you also understand French orthography, Dutch orthography, the Great Vowel Shift, the Latin language, the history of the printing press, and the etymology of every word introduced to English in the last 600 years

[primesinister]

@glorfindelweek

Glorfindel Week Day 1: Valinor | Childhood | Family

Little Glorfindel|Laurefindele with his father Ingil (Ingwion) on the mountaincastle of Taniquetil where many Vanyar live, where Glorfindels grandfather Ingwe lives. He grows up with wind in his hair and the clear voices of his people around him, with a loving family that shelters him, until his own ambitions carry him away to Tirion, where his mother Findis is from, and where his aunt Elenwe lives.

[primesinister]

Tolkien Reverse Summer Bang collab with @urwendii

=> AMAZING FIC COMING OUT SOON => Author's AO3

Eol's Fall - Aredhel's escort throwing Eol from Gondolin's cliff. From left to right: Ecthelion, Glorfindel, Eol, Egalmoth

Gondolindrim - The people of Gondolin and Aredhel's family reacting to this. From left to right: Rog, OC, Idril, Turgon, Maeglin, Penlodh

I headcanon that the lords of Gondolin who were Aredhel's guards (Ecthelion, Glorfindel, Egalmoth) were those who killed Eol in the end. I think it's interesting to explore how this event can be considered as kinslaying and how those who were/weren't involved in the First Kinslaying lived it. Especially Glorfindel who did not take part in the kinslaying and felt much guilt about Aredhel's fate.

@tolkienrsb

[primesinister]

*Entering kindergarten classroom* Tell me five hobbies everyone has that AREN’T consuming media. Exactly, no idea how to engage with the real world *sees blues clues playing* you know that’s all pre-recorded slop right? Steve can’t hear you. and dogs aren’t even blue. This is the death of media literacy…

[primesinister]

Shapeshifting would be an incredible superpower, don’t get me wrong, but—

Okay. I read a chapter of a horror manga where a guy gets shapeshifting powers, gets depressed and shapeshifts into a giant sea anemone. And because anemones and other cnidarians don’t have brains, he can’t even have the thought to turn back into a human, so he’s just fucking softlocked as a giant sea anemone.

And because I read that chapter of that horror manga, if I did wind up getting shapeshifting powers I would be shitting myself with fear every day that I would accidentally turn into a giant sea anemone. It would be the number one thing on my mind, immediately followed by “WAIT if I think about the guy who turned into a giant sea anemone too much would that be enough to accidentally turn myself into a giant sea anemone,” so then I would spend every day trying not to think about the guy who turned into a giant sea anemone, which is like trying not to think about elephants.

And then I would absolutely turn into a giant sea anemone, which at that point would come as a relief

[primesinister]

This makes me weepy for so many reasons:

1. There’s a kid out there already thinking of inclusivity at such a young age.

2. There’s a blind boy who feels more seen and loved and part of his class.

3. The tenderness and consideration that the mom put into creating the special heartfelt felt heart (see what I did there?) for the classmate is so apparent.

4. That boy’s parents must have bawled seeing the valentine their son came home with and knowing that he’s being included and welcomed by his peers.

[primesinister]

my beef w utah is that cult leader couldn’t have hunkered down in kansas instead? he had to infest the mountains w all that? I just think the corn fields would have been more their vibe, now there’s a soda machine on every corner to fight against sinful thoughts like “one sip of coffee wouldn’t be that bad” “my buddy brian looked….tempestuous at the gym”

[primesinister]

Bastille was right. How am I gonna be an optimist about this. Also right about eh eho eho.

[primesinister]

in fucking Tears thinking about how disgusting a baby griffin would look

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They are just like me forreal

[primesinister]

anyway just a reminder for the myth lovers out there

king arthur was welsh. merlin was welsh. camelot was in wales. the lady and the lake she pops out of; welsh. excalibur; magic inanimate welsh object. etc.

on the way to see family, i drive past a lake that in which is welsh legend, is the last resting place of excalibur.

i’m just saying in my experience a lot of these legends had been so anglo-fied in the past and it’s like, all this cool shit is celtic welsh legend.