primadxnnagirl

[primadxnnagirl]

i’m haunted by a past i can’t go back to. so instead i go on google maps and look up my childhood home. it’s still 2009. the tree i grew with is still there. my moms silver car is parked outside. i’m ten with scraped up knees, racing my sister down the hill on our bikes. first one home gets the last bit of pink lemonade. does the tree know that in ten years time it’ll be gone? does my childhood house wait for us to come home? does ten year old me know that she’ll miss all this one day?

[primadxnnagirl]

[primadxnnagirl]

during the blurred summer, i knew a boy who’d always laugh at my jokes and would sing songs from a band i told him about years ago. we’d joke about our future and what we’d name our kids. he was my best friend. but i think he got tired of cleaning the blood off my knees one too many times because now he has a new best friend with eyes as brown as mine. i’ll probably write about him for a 1000 years.

part 3/3

[primadxnnagirl]

in the midst of an orange october with death underneath our feet, i knew a boy with tired eyes who always smelled like smoke. he was 20 years my senior but still a boy none the less. he made me feel important and i made him feel young. a part him still haunts me. the ghosts of the life we could have had; if i was just a little bit older. i think he was the only one i really wanted to get it right with.

part 2/3

[primadxnnagirl]

it was a hazy summer of hot cars and missed calls. i knew a boy who’d play me love songs on his guitar and would stay up late whispering on the phone; telling ghost stories he never told anyone before. he met my brother and told me we’d get a place in the city. he had puppy dog eyes, it was a puppy dog love. i think i liked being loved more then being in love.

part 1/3

[primadxnnagirl]

What do i do if he’s not answering my texts anymore :(

sometimes when you love someone, you leave them alone forever

[primadxnnagirl]

you’re gonna kiss other girls and end up living a nice cookie cutter life. but i know years from now; on a stormy summer afternoon when the trees are so green they seem unreal and summer air feels electric. you’ll think of me. when it’s 5am and it’s right before the city wakes up; when it’s oddly quiet and everything’s a pale blue. you’re going to think of me and it’s going to drive you insane.

[primadxnnagirl]

the leaves will rot and fall like they do every year and i’ll keep growing my hair out and cutting it all off. pretending the parts you touched are gone; but they’re never really gone are they? your mom will stop asking about me and i’ll forgot how many stoplights there are to your house. you’re gonna marry her and i’ll always be the girl who left town. the girl who’ll one day be nothing but a faded photograph kept buried deep in your closet. the girl from “before”. and if one day your grandkids ask about me, will you even remember my name?

[primadxnnagirl]

[primadxnnagirl]

[primadxnnagirl]

☾ live fast, die grunge ☽

[primadxnnagirl]

△Grunge/Indie△

[primadxnnagirl]

△Grunge/Indie△

[primadxnnagirl]

△Grunge/Indie△

[primadxnnagirl]

[primadxnnagirl]

[primadxnnagirl]

Grunge/Indie