prettysurethisworks

[prettysurethisworks]

[prettysurethisworks]

We drove past an oncology office today and my brain went "honkology" so now I need someone to do a comic where a nervous patient learns they have the big C (clowns) but it's still early and treatable.

[prettysurethisworks]

people who don’t have boops on, I respect your peace but also picture me standing outside your blog scratching the door like a cat wanting to be let in

[prettysurethisworks]

[prettysurethisworks]

It's the illusion of separation all over again. Humans are part of the ecosystem, and pretending we aren't will lead us to make dumb decisions that end up harming us.

many posts i want to make but i don't have the energy to make them in detail or to fend off the foolish misinterpretations.

I must tell y'all sometime about the Hybrid Cattails... Typha x glauca they are so fucking mean to her.,.god forbid women do anything

[prettysurethisworks]

I've said it before and I'll say it again, you do not decide which discworld book you're going to read first, the universe does. It's whichever one accidentally makes its way into your immediate vicinity, whichever one is the only one on the shelf at the library when you were actually looking for something else. It will find you when it's Time, it has something to do with wossname... quantum

[prettysurethisworks]

Cats are great because they just accept that being Bothered by you is like. Part of the social contract.

[prettysurethisworks]

I know this happens and it looks suspicious but

this image? we have every reason to think it is a cucumber, like it was made in clay models in burials period, it's painted green, it's on the small side of things (9.6 cm or 3 3/4 inch)

oh right and it was placed on a model offering table with small model bread and drinking cup

sometimes a cucumber really is a cucumber.

[prettysurethisworks]

me: i'm adding realism to this medieval fantasy setting

what people think i mean: grime, gratuitous sexual assault and murder, misogyny, child marriage

what i actually mean: everyone reads out loud, women are spinning wool all the time, peasants marry at 20, people wear colors.

[prettysurethisworks]

this is just my opinion but i think any good media needs obsession behind it. it needs passion, the kind of passion that's no longer "gentle scented candle" and is now "oh shit the house caught on fire". it needs a creator that's biting the floorboards and gnawing the story off their skin. creators are supposed to be wild animals. they are supposed to want to tell a story with the ferocity of eating a good stone fruit while standing over the sink. the same protective, strange instinct as being 7 and making mud potions in pink teacups: you gotta get weird with it.

good media needs unhinged, googling-at-midnight kind of energy. it needs "what kind of seams are invented on this planet" energy and "im just gonna trust the audience to roll with me about this" energy. it needs one person (at least) screaming into the void with so much drive and energy that it forces the story to be real.

sometimes people are baffled when fanfic has some stunning jaw-dropping tattoo-it-on-you lines. and i'm like - well, i don't go here, but that makes sense to me. of fucking course people who have this amount of passion are going to create something good. they moved from a place of genuine love and enjoyment.

so yeah, duh! saturday cartoons have banger lines. random street art is sometimes the most precious heart-wrenching shit you've ever seen. someone singing on tiktok ends up creating your next favorite song. youtubers are giving us 5 hours of carefully researched content. all of this is the impossible equation to latestage capitalism. like, you can't force something to be good. AI cannot make it good. no amount of focus-group testing or market research. what makes a story worth listening to is that someone cares so much about telling it - through dance, art, music, whatever it takes - that they are just a little unhinged about it.

one time my friend told me he stayed up all night researching how many ways there are to peel an orange. he wrote me a poem that made me cry on public transportation. the love came through it like pith, you know? the words all came apart in my hands. it tasted like breakfast.

[prettysurethisworks]

One smuggler. It'd been a while since anyone tried, so having one actually show up was a nice bit of excitement. Silver bar stock in a compartment under a hay cart. Good plan, really. I only noticed because of the clink. Gotta say, that one-loose-brick thing paid off, even if I keep having to convince the Masons' Guild to leave it.

So we pull him off to the side, I send the corporal back to handle the gate traffic, and I give the guy the lecture. Taxes fund services, you know, the whole thing. But I notice he's real nervous, and honestly it makes sense because that's a lot of value; there's no way this single operator is going to move that much product freelance. Gotta have somebody waiting for him. So I look him in the eyes, you know, and give him, "Hey."

And he totally falls apart. Yeah, no, it's not a jewelry thing, it's a whole counterfeiting operation, and I ask a few more questions and it turns out that — this guy doesn't even know how high it goes — but it's Blackhand. I mean, he thinks it's just the counterfeiting, but he knows the location of the foundry and the name of the smelter, and it's one of the guys on the Stevens list. It's fucking Blackhand. And we've got him by the fucking coins.

Two weeks later, right, I'm standing in the Hall, watching Lord Stalding just get redder and redder as the judge reads off the list. The whole Blackhand operation shut down, and irons on the guy at the top, all because of that loose brick.

King wants to see me now. Okay. Guess I'll tell him about the brick thing.

Being at level 100 you are vastly overqualified for a job as a City Gate Guard. But as your king so wisely put it “A forest with only deer deters nobody, but one with a dragon hidden inside will be given a wide berth.”

[prettysurethisworks]

[prettysurethisworks]

I want a black t-shirt styled like a metal band tee, with skulls and purple flames and shit and dramatic gothic font text on the front that says

YOU MUST SUFFER ME TODAY

and on the back it reads

I MUST SUFFER ME FOREVER

[prettysurethisworks]

tortoises are knights, but sea turtles are more like traveling merchants or itinerant preachers

[prettysurethisworks]

(Glancing up from prep for an Uther campaign using the Pendragon TTRPG.)

this sucks so bad i need to (remembers suicide jokes only make my mental health worse) find the holy grail

[prettysurethisworks]

Which “Jabberwocky” Character Should You Fight

The slithy toves: Toves are totes adorbs. And fun to watch. Don’t fight them.

The borogoves: They’re kind of stickly and gristened, so it would be neither sporting nor appetizing to hunt them. But go ahead if you really want to.

The mome raths: Yeah, okay, raths are curtible in small numbers, but when entire flates come out in the early lefting it’s just an unstuppered onscramble of grabbling and gribing. Fight raths. Do I hear a snicker-snack? :)

The Parent: They give good, stolid advice. Don’t fight your parents.

The Son: I wouldn’t even. Have you viddied well his sword arm? Do not fuck with the Son. (If you must, bring something long and vorpal and try to catch him before brillig.)

The Jubjub bird: Honestly, go for it! Seriously. Good chumbly thigh meat. Two words, though: ranged weapons. And not a thimble-bow or splitten, bring something heavy with a good, stretted bowstring on it.

The Bandersnatch: Bandersnatchi are large, gluesome, and herbivorous. Fighting them is more inconvenient than unwisable, so I’m going to back the Parent here: shun them. Shun Jinx entirely. Blandrous place for a vacation.

The Tumtum tree: what why it’s a tree I don’t

The Jabberwock: look are you even paying attention