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when I feel bad about my ability to write interesting stories I try to think about the skyrim wizard college questline

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“Which fictional universe would you rather live in—“ Star Trek. Star Trek. There is a correct answer and it’s Star Trek. “I want to have cool adventures—“ Star Trek. “I want to live in high tech but ethical peace and comfort” Star Trek. “I want to be a psychic alien—“ Star Trek. “But I want to do magic—“ do you know how much weird magic shit happens in Star Trek. Also Star Trek has holodecks you can pretend to be in Lord of the Rings or Star Wars or whatever and then come home to your usually peaceful interstellar community. There are basically no downsides to living in the Star Trek universe if you take the assumption that you remain you, a human living on Earth. You can join Starfleet or you can stay home and enjoy fully automated luxury gay space communism. The answer is Star Trek.

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check out this disc that seemingly manifested itself at my work. it contains:

an illegal copy of Microsoft office

a copy of 7zip and winrar

a keygen that plays the hunger games theme song when opened and has a red button that when you click it just closes the entire program

an informative .txt file that tells you to turn off all the firewall and antivirus on your computer

definitely no viruses

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favorite presidential kid? probably alice roosevelt.

-her mother died two days after she was born and on the same day her maternal grandmother also died. teddy was so sad that he left his newborn daughter with his sister anna for two years and could never bring himself to say his wife’s name so alice who was named after her mother had to be called “lee”, her middle name.

-when teddy remarried, alice’s stepmom edith made it clear that she thought alice’s mom had been beautiful but dumb. when alice’s parents couldn’t handle her anymore, they sent her to her aunt anna’s. according to alice, “If auntie Bye had been a man, she would have been president”. alice claimed to feel one-sixth as loved as her five half-siblings.

-then alice got polio which at the time could kill, not to mention cripple. her stepmom put her through an uncompromising regimen of nightly forced wearing of torturous leg braces and shoes, which left alice with no trace of the disability and able to run up stairs and touch her nose with her toe well into her 80s.

-alice’s dad and stepmom tried to send her to a conservative girls’ school but alice wrote home, “If you send me I will humiliate you. I will do something that will shame you. I tell you I will”.

-when teddy became president in 1901, alice became an instant celebrity and fashion icon at age 17. she did scandalous things like smoking cigarettes in public, riding in cars with men, staying out late partying, keeping a pet snake (called emily spinach) in the white house, and placing bets with a bookie. 

-she even had a color - alice blue - and a song - alice blue gown - named after her. the press called her princess alice.

-during an imperial cruise to japan, alice jumped into a pool fully dressed and coaxed a congressman in to join her.

-one time a white house visitor commented on alice’s frequent interruptions in the oval office, usually with political advice. after the third interruption, teddy explained, “I can either run the country or I can attend to Alice, but I cannot possibly do both”.

-in february 1906, alice married congressman nicholas longworth and was the social event of the season. it was attended by more than a thousand guests and thousands gathered outside hoping for a glance of princess alice. she wore a blue wedding dress and cut the wedding cake with a sword.

-alice publicly supported her dad’s 1912 presidential candidate while her husband supported president taft. alice appeared on stage in her husband’s own district with her dad’s vp candidate. longworth lost by 105 votes and alice joked that she was worth at least 100 votes (meaning she was the reason he lost).

-alice’s campaign against her husband caused a friction in their marriage and longworth was known to be carrying on many affairs. it was also generally accepted knowledge in dc that alice had a long, ongoing affair with senator william borah, who by alice’s own admission was the father of her daughter, paulina. alice had a wicked sense of humor and had initially wanted to name her daughter deborah (as in de Borah).

-after the death of her daughter paulina in 1957, alice fought for and won custody of her granddaughter joanna. 

-in the 1950s, alice’s health began to fail her and she broke a hip. she also discovered she was suffering from breast cancer and had to have two mastectomies. in 1960, alice was diagnosed with emphysema. 

-alice was also a champion of rights for african-americans. one day, in 1965, alice’s african-american chauffeur and good friend, turner, was driving her to an appointment. turner pulled out in front of a taxi and the driver yelled at him, “What do you think you’re doing, you black bastard?” turner stayed calm but alice told the taxi driver, “He’s taking me to my destination, you white son of a bitch!”

-after many years of ill health, alice died of emphysema and pneumonia at age 96, outliving all five of her younger half-siblings.

-her most famous quote was, “If you haven’t got anything good to say about anybody, come sit next to me”. 

-when senator joseph mccarthy joked at a party, “Here’s my blind date. I am going to call you Alice”, she replied, “Senator McCarthy, you are not going to call me Alice. The trashman and the policeman on my block call me Alice, but you may not”. 

-she told president lyndon b. johnson that she wore wide-brimmed hats so he couldn’t kiss her.

-when a kkk member dressed in full costume asked her to trust his word, she said, “I never trust a man under sheets”.

so in summary, alice roosevelt longworth was badass.

this is her:

here’s little alice

more of teen/young adult alice

alice with her daughter paulina

alice as a grand old lady

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The Wyrm's Garden

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The complete ‘Women Who Changed Science - And The World" collection in honor of the 95th Women’s Equality Day.

Purchase Here!

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first day as a second century warlord i have my men tie branches to their horses’ tails to stir up dust and make it look like there’s a lot of us but i forget it just rained so there isn’t any dust and the enemy can clearly see there’s like twenty of us all spread out in a line

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no more gravy no more basting it is freedom we are tasting

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Most english orthographic reforms fail because they're trying to make the language better when they should be making it worse. In pursuit of that idea, starting in fall 2024 we're adding six new letters to make reading harder.

1. Reverse P

Completing the b-d-p rotational cycle and causing confusing with g and q (the hook on the q is now mandatory).

2. Lower i

Uppercase is a lowercase i and lowercase is an even lower i.

3. Left bracket

For it's hard work over the years, [ is being promoted to the alphabet proper. Lower case is a reverse h. Fuck right bracket.

4. Long M

Just like a regular M but two of the legs keep going. Long M is a vowel in all cases that Y isn't.

5. Reverse X

Like X but in reverse. To tell the difference we're adding these little curls to X, so regular X now looks like this

6. Reverse F

Uppercase is a reverse F, lowercase is an upside down v. Fuck you is why.

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Corvid Christmas tree. Simple, but beautiful.

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"Would you look at that, mercury's in Gatorade."

"I don't believe in astrology."

"No, I mean there is a recall."

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I just had somebody tell me that a lot of my "here's a fucked up game concept" posts read like something from one of those setting riff threads you'd see on the RPG.net forums back in the early 2000s.

Imagine that.

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Highlights of today's walk through the Bad Faith Edits of Wikipedia...

The person who edited their favourite KPop star's article to refer to him as "The Goat" several dozen times

The person who, when talking about a famous poet, noted that the area he came from was (A not so good place)

The weird monarchist (?) who went through the entire article on the Hapsburgs, capitalized all uses of the word 'monarchy', and removed several references to monarchs being elected

The person who used the Hanged, Drawn and Quartered article to threaten their scummy boyfriend (???)

Kids using random wikipedia articles as places for graffiti, including posting random brainrot parody songs and "sarah loves aiden"

A bunch of very boring children who don't understand that the words "gigachad", "rizz", "Diddy", slurs, and sexual terms are not inherently funny. If you're going to vandalize Wikipedia, work a little harder.

A lot of very tedious political posters, including one person who kept insisting that any resistance to the Iranian revolution was based in American propaganda

Someone insisting repeatedly that wooden ice hockey pucks were invented in Turkiye

On the article for "copycat crimes":

A Tumblr Girlie who edited the Achilles and Patroclus article to say they were "definetly" lovers (academic consensus is apparently uncertain)

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My housemate's cat came into my room while my dictation was on...

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