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We looked inside some of the posts by pouringitallout-blog1 and here's what we found interesting.
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Notes Per Post
5
Likes Per Post
5
Reblog Per Post
0
Reply Per Post
0
Time Between Posts
6 days ago
Number of Posts By Type
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17
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What happens now ...
I loved you like no other ... I loved you the most ... I still love you ... I can't lie about that. I treated like a queen. I treated you like my wife. I'd never ask you to buy or get me anything because I don't care about that. All I needed was your love... I'm going to rehab next week... it really hurts and scares me and normally I was supposed to get mad but I I can't ... I can't ever get mad at you for what happened... I love you. I really do. I realized that while I was gone that I shouldn't have brought my problems between us the way I did and for not believing you when you said that there was no one else but myself. And having to keep on relying on you for nearly everything is something I shouldn't have done. I came back to Montreal a changed man... all it took for us to stay together was for you to let me show you that I changed... okay , maybe at first I wanted to go skating with you and that's all we were talking about last year 😂. So I had to try to make it happen before we start school... whenever you want to call or text or even FaceTime ... don't hesitate to do so because I'll always make time for you. "M" , I love you more than my life itself... I'll always be fighting for you ... I'll always be waiting ...
I love you ❤️
See you soon
-ian
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Until...
You never know that you love... until he/she/it is gone
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June 15, 2017
Anxiety... even though you feel it for a second. It can fuck you up pretty badly. I don't have anyone to talk about my current state because I normally talk to my wifeeyyy. Rn, I ain't in a good place atm. I keep getting threats, getting stressed, headaches, muscle pains and a lot more. I recently went to Douglas... a MENTAL RESEARCH FACILITY. Ain't feeling ready to tell y'all why but like I said... I wasn't in a good place atm and at the time. I wish I can say more but... I can't ...
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june 10th, 2017
Today... i thought... i thought i was done. I really thought that i was done with everything. Done with life. Done of living. Just done with all the bullshit ! i’ve been trying day after day. Night after night. Just to tell her... to show her that i want and need her back so badly... so desperatly. I miss my girl. I miss my wifey. My baby. My queen. My booba. My potato head. I just miss her. I wanna be able to hold her in my arms but i guess now those things aren’t a possibility anymore...
I tried... i tried killing myself today... i really did. My HEART, MIND and SOUL was just at its limit. There was nothing else i could do anymore... So i sat on the edge of the over-pass and started to think and prepare... Luckily for everyone, the “Sureter du Quebec” happen to pass by and notice me on the over-pass. To them, it looked like i was going to jump. I won’t lie. I was going to. But then before they arrived, i thought of maybe it would’ve affect the ones around me. How it could’ve affected my brothers... my best friends... and my girl...
But once they got me down, the officers immediatly started asking me questions about how did i get to this point, then asked me to go to the ambulance and “talk”. once i got in the ambulance they asked me a bunch of questions. But when i wanted to open the door for air, they would grab me then throw me onto the stretcher, taze me and knock my ass out. Once that i woke up i was at the Verdun hospital where i was cuffed to a chair.
My girl... She unique. Ain’t no one that can make me feel the way she does. Ain’t nobody able to replace her. I love her. But thing is... i’m actually sad because it took so much just for her to realize that i ain’t “casper”. I AM HERE FOR HER. i ain’t ever going to stop loving her. My heart alone belongs to her. i’d spil blood for her. i’d cry rivers to her. Break every single bone in my body. Just so she can finally notice me and actually try to reconsider.
This is all i have to say today...
I’m out .
-ian
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june 8th, 2017
Life... What is that...?
Life has never existed for me as a youngin’. But when i met you. i felt something i’ve never really felt before. Pure solide love. The feeling was so powerful that my mind would be stuck on you. i fell in love. i fell in love with the beautiful, the most kind, the most breath taking girl in the world. i couldn’t resist her at all. I actually fell in love. i fell in love with Maria katerina Esguerra Arceno. The goddess of beauty !
She brought gave my existence a meaning. A meaning to life. I love her !
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What you thought...
What you thought you thought of, wasn’t right.
You thought that we tried talking things through, but all you did is try breaking up with me because you didn’t want to go through the hardships our relationships came with when all you had to do is tell me...
To tell me that i’m too possessive
To tell me that i’m too strict
To tell me that i’m taking things too seriously
To tell me that we need to change how we work if we gon’ make this work
...
Baby , i’m ready to change for both myself and you. As a matter of fact, i already drowned my old self. i drowned the one that was being too possessive, too strict, too clingy and too serious. You may not believe me because you think that i’m just saying it... but you never know until you see it. I’ll always love you. I’ll always keep it 10x10 withchu. I keep it 100 witchu !
I love you boo <3
-Ian
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When i called you mine...
When i called you mine, i devoted myself to you in any way i ever could
When i called you mine, i declared loyalty to you
When i called you mine, nothing else mattered but you and i
When i called you mine, i already figured out that my love for you was real
When i called you mine, i finally found my source of happiness
when i called you mine, i saw you like you were the only star up in the sky
...
I love you
-Ian
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June 6th,2017
Haven’t heard from you yet. Not even a “Hi”. I miss you ... a lot. I really do. My mind as been filled with memories of how we used to be. Not only that. But with the dreams i have of us doing things that would really bring us together and reaching heights higher than we ever could. I miss you. More than ever...
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Thinking ...
I know that I've been saying that I miss you. But thing is that i not only miss you but I love you. Last night... what did it mean...? Is there still a spark of love there. Do you still love me ? Is it that you're afraid of me ? Is that I have to prove myself worthy of your love again...? I don't know bout you. But hearing your voice again... made me feel great. I felt like I was listening to a beautiful song on repeat. I only hope that you still have love for me... and that you'll come back to me. I love you -ian
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Heart break
I never knew it was right till you treated you wrong. My love for you is endless. I hope you can realize and see that. I’d spill blood for you. I’d break bones for you. I’d do anything for you. You’re my queen. I got nun’ but loyalty, love, commitement and respect for you. And now that you’re gone... my soul means nothing. Baby i love you! I need you ! i want you back ! i can’t see my life without you !
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June 5th,2017
I M-I-S-S you... i really do... I can't stop thinking about you. I always think about you... not only about how we used to be. But what we could've been doing together. To be everything we ever wanted from the very beginning. I miss the love we had for each other. Our love was so powerful it even influenced others to try to do what we be doing. How we talked to each other. The way we show our emotions openly to one another. The things we'd do whenever we're together. EVERYTHING. To me we were perfect. To my eyes we were the ideal couple. All I ever wanted was with how we were. You made of me the happiest man alive. You made me the most confident one around. I LOVE you baby ! And nothing is going to change that. You're still my booba , my potato head, my baby, my princess and my queen b ! I love you! Xoxoxo -Ian
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Questioning...
You say that you don't feel happy around me. You say that you thought about it before. Is this really what you wanted...? For our happiness to die this way. You say that you thought about it before. Even before you asked for the "break". But did you really think it all through? Did you really take the time to think what would've happened to me if you broke up with me ? Of the other solutions we could've found if only we talked about it ? Of the potential we have together to go higher as one ? Baby , I'll never give up on you. My heart and soul is all for you. You're still my lingling , my potato head, my oignion, my booba... the love of my life. There ain't no one else better than you. It takes a lot to break me the way you did. The fact that you have my trust, the way you made me feel, the things we'd do together. Everything that we did and had showed me that I could give everything to you. E-V-E-R-Y-T-H-I-N-G. Like I told you, I won't weigh you down anymore. I won't be as clingy, I won't be as possessive. I won't be as strict. I won't be as pushy. I'll do anything just to get you back in my life because it's hard for me to see life without you... I love you , Maria ! Xoxo -Ian
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The way...
The way l love you I never really know how you feel I can't read your mind I just keep waiting Take me to your heart Show me where to start Let me play the part of your first love. Oh, l know how down deep you love me But are you ever gonna love me The way l love you?
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Have you ever ...?
Have you ever met someone you think about every night and every day, someone so beautiful it's breathtaking and words just aren't enough to say? Have you ever met someone so special you can't imagine life without, someone you want to talk forever and learn everything about? Have you ever met someone just as crazy who wanted to have just as much fun, someone you can dance all night with and together watch the rising sun? Have you ever met someone so amazing you wish you could pause the time so it doesn't end? This someone is you, and I'd like you to be my girlfriend.
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When
When I am without her, the sun doesn't shine as brightly. When I am without her, the clouds are dark and foreboding. When I am without her, the birds don't sing as sweetly. When I am without her, the walls close in on me. When I am without her, in the depths of my hell, whispering her name sustains me. But when I am with her, she lifts me up. When I am with her, I have the strength to move mountains. When I am with her, I can withstand anything. When I am with her, her smile warms my very soul. When I am with her, the angels sing her name. When I am with her, I fall in love all over again.
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What is “LOVE”?
To me, the definition of “love” is loving and showing affection for someone no matter how many times that special person will hurt you... thats what love is. Thats what its all about...
So no matter how much she hurts me... i’ll always love her. With all my heart. I’ll even give my life up for her.
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06/04/2017 (9:46pm)
i can’t stop thinking about you
-ian
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