possumdisco

[possumdisco]

The come-down from doing a good deed is crazy. Like I think I could rescue a baby from a burning building and 30 minutes later I’d be like, “Idk was it cringe of me to run into that building like that? The baby didn’t even seem that happy to get rescued. Honestly maybe the baby started the house fire and I interrupted an important life lesson.”

[possumdisco]

(guy who literally has easy access to painkillers voice) ough,,, everything aches,,, ouch, if only,,, there was something i could do to stop this,,,,,, guess ill just put up with it,,,,

[possumdisco]

i have this awesome skincare routine called picking at my face till it bleeds. its great because it makes my skin way worse in every way and also it hurts

[possumdisco]

staying up until 1am with your friends is like. wow we’re so fucking cool we’re so fucking badass we should go on a road trip or become famous or maybe hang out here forever because i dont wanna be anywhere that isnt with you guys im so full of love and joy and a live fast die young mentality. and staying up until 1am by yourself is like. for the third time this year i am genuinely contemplating suicide. good thing i dont have the executive function to clean up my room

[possumdisco]

I love what we've done with the word "ratatouille." It's kinda like how we fucked up the popular understanding of the word inception, except we borrowed a word from a language we usually copy 1:1 and assigned it a wildly unrelated meaning. Hell with the tomatoes. Steer that man by his hair.

[possumdisco]

if i worked at nintendo i would try so hard to make it canon that mario and luigi are red/green colourblind and think theyre wearing the exact same outfit

[possumdisco]

hell is full. heaven is full. god created a new holding space for souls called hurgle and the only thibg to do here is this infinitely expading jigsaw puzzle of a finely detailed pigeon. we are just slowwwwwly creating little tufts of feathers for eternity . yesterday , greg found a corner piece

[possumdisco]

A customer asked for pickles on their sub and I (dumbass) reached for the cucumbers. They quickly went “oh, no, I want pickles!” and I immediately said “they could’ve been pickles. in another life” ????? Why did I get hired????????

[possumdisco]

don’t you just hate it when 🚙

um. sorry wait a minute [grabs mic]

can the owner of the blue honda civic move their car please. it’s blocking my post.

[possumdisco]

The lion does not concern itself with the bank account balance when a little treat is calling

[possumdisco]

*shaking, covered in blood and dirt, dark circles under my wide and crazed eyes* i can be normal about the media i like

[possumdisco]

before anyone forgets. every fandom is annoying. hope this helps ❤️

[possumdisco]

I don't gamble because I use up all my luck in just staying alive. So either my budget is already spent up and I win nothing, or then I win one time and then immediately get hit by a truck.

[possumdisco]

"what if things were different" is a poisoned well and drinking from it will kill you!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[possumdisco]

hey sexy what time do you plan on being done grieving

[possumdisco]

What really ticks me off when talking about ai is when people are like "it's unavoidable" or "you'll have to learn to use it someday" or "its going to be part of the future" like no it's plenty avoidable actually if you have a spine stronger than a dandelion. You simply say "no" and continue to use your own goddamn brain.

[possumdisco]

Going to the zoo today perhaps I'll treat myself with a flattened penny... Perhaps I'll indulge myself, andget a flattened penny