portlandbycalifornia - Tumblr blog

portlandbycalifornia · 8 years ago

Text

My Perfect Match

Portland OkCupid profiles that I have matched with an average rate of 85% copied verbatim (spelling mistakes and all) and complied to create the ultimate dream man.

My Self-Summary

Vegan INTP bike nerd. I consistently test on either side of INFJ/INTJ. Very into self-improvement, various energy healing modalities, healthy living, escaping the matrix, etc. I Love to go to festivals. Fire dancing is my favorite hobby but crafting my wearable leather art is my passion. I take care of my body. I am attracted to women that take care of their mind, body and soul. Non-monogamy is a gift that my partner and I have given each other.

I smile and encourage others in passing. I am going through a period of transformation, renewal, and brutal honesty. Finding wisdom in deeper levels and adopting a fresh perspective on my relationship with the world. I savor genuine human connection and I am resourced and ready to face whatever comes in its way. I have a vision and I need you and your vision. I need the vision to come down and be embodied here in community. I love the transformation and creating something beautiful and lasting.

I am a highly sensitive person, with extreme shifts between introvert and extrovert, who feels emotions on a grand scale and often cannot hide this with masks, barriers, or boundaries. I am a glorious mess with a lot of love to give, digging deep to find that love for myself which will provide the foundation from which I will seek balance in all that I give – to myself and to others.

I just want to let you know my hair is to my butt so if that is not your thing or you judge a book by the cover pass me by.

Let's play together!

What I’m Doing With My Life

Unraveling the mysteries of the universe. Daydreaming about getting out in the woods for a week. After ending a long term relationship last year I devoted most of my spare time to internal examination.

I have passed through eleven years of severe mental health issues that have put my life and the pursuit of my dreams and happiness on hold. I submitted to the Western Idea of Medicine – to only soothe the symptoms, and not address the root cause.

I raise happy animals and plants to feed wise and caring people. I am spreading love, happiness, and joy wherever I go. It's who I am and a big part of what I bring to this world. Learning is a hobby as well as my vocation

I'm into tribal dancing. I pray when I dancing. I do ancient dancing sacred to Mayan and Aztec. I can make shoes. I can fix cars. I garden. I'm kind of everything as I age. I see so much wisdom I have and knowledge in the seen and unseen. Being on here discredits my karma and manifestation abilities. I'm not part of sex positive not will I club up for love. I'm very serious I might add. I'm the real deal. I know medicine well. Even Latin. I'm not some rich kid. I'm actually poverty

I am wearing a couple kilts in my pictures. I enjoy wearing them, I am getting more in touch with my Irish heritage. Yes, in two of them, I am also wearing tights. They are tights for men, but still tights. They are comfortable, and nice to wear. More and more men are beginning to realize what woman have known for a very long time. Leggings, tights (and even bodysuits) are really very comfortable.

I am living everyday striving to become my most authentic self by practicing AHO. I am currently in the midst of a revolution. It is beautiful and it is heartbreaking. It is inspiring and it is painful. It is passionate and it is overwhelming. It is full of challenges, ideas, roadblocks, breakthroughs, breakdowns, searching, yearning, learning how to take care of myself for the first time ever, and attempting to find community, my own family or tribe where I can continue this journey surrounded by support and love and possibility and responsibility. The past year has been surreal and fascinating.

I run. I hide. I fall into deep pockets of introspection and isolation. I get foggy and lose track of time, and it is difficult to focus on anything that doesn't feed into this ancient evil of helplessness, hopelessness, agony, and suffering. I work at festivals like the Oregon Country Fair, Pacific Fire Gathering to name a couple.

What I am Looking For

What I am looking for? First of all, I am not a bigot, or racist, or anything, but I prefer to date within my race. Please. Also, I DO judge you by your profile pic. Shallow?...no. I just am more likely to click on your photo if you are smiling, or you have made it a point to look like you are enjoying yourself. Has nothing to do with how attractive you are. Some pictures....they could double as county jail in-processing pictures. SMILE Fer fuk sakes!!

I find that SOME of the ladies who write that they don't want to see pictures of a mans junk, who are here for a serious intentions, and not here for a quick fling are quite often the same ones who have their camera half way down their shirt, showing me how large their cleavage is, how big their breasts are etc....Frankly, I really don't want to be seeing how big your chest is, anymore than you want to be seeing my junk.

I prefer to look for someone who already has children or willing/interested in adoption, (for that is the ULTIMATE show of love) If you have kids, the younger they are better. Because yes, I want to experience all that being a father brings. Being up 2 hours after I went to sleep to change a diaper, or woo them back to sleep, or holding them after a scary dream. I yearn for the days of showing them how to do things like holding a bat catching a ball, tying their shoes, going to games, and recitals, and yes....even going so far as to play dress up. (Yes, I am cool with that, you should be too).

I believe we transfer energy by who we hang with. So No Burners please. Your weird and high. Not my kind of people.

I’m Really Good At

Getting present via: breath, tapping cortices, lips & tail (energy points), mindfulness, adrenaline, focused effort, etc. Falling apart and putting myself back together again. Spinning fire for the masses, helping others, loving you, expanding my consciousness and all I set my mind to. I’m REALLY good at talking.

The first things people usually notice about me

Perhaps it's that I emanate a god-like quality of peace, love, and understanding to everyone around me, also my eyes. Bonus points if you find something else to compliment first.

Favorite Books, Movies, Shows, Music, and Food

Science and Sanity by Alfred Korzybski Immediatism by Hakim Bey Mother of the Universe: Visions of the Goddess and Tantric Hymns of Enlightenment by Lex Hixon Tao Te Ching by Lao Tzu Theory of Harmony by Arnold Schoenberg

I don’t own a tv. You shouldn’t either.

Lately I've been listening to Beats Antique, String Cheese Incident, Job To Do, Bassnectar and Blue Lotus. Music is whatever can get me moving, enrich my soul, make me cry, reminds me of something special. Right now I'm listening to a lot of 5 finger death Punch and Tool repetition, polyrhythms, heaviness, swing, bass, texture, sweetness, darkness, contrast, ambience. My own music has been an attempt to reconcile my love of the traditions springing forth from dub reggae and gay disco.

Heathy food is a big part of my life. I am a big juicer and my superfood bullet is the best purchase ever.

Six(teen) Things I Could Never Do Without

Music

Intellectual stimulation

Physical stimulation

My bike

Reflection

All my special people

Reclaiming my power to create change

Rest Laughter (especially that of children) Tears Artistic expression Human connection Surrender

Festival season

Passport

Sex

I Spend A Lot Of Time Thinking About

How to get the perfect balance in my life between all my conflicting goals and desires. Discovering how to leave a positive impact on humanity, loving life and those in it, entrepreneurial activities (in conscious business), etc.

Where I should ride on my weekend. Road or mountain bike? Probably mountain bike, but which trail and how far am I willing to drive this weekend? Should I camp somewhere?

Doing what I'm here to do, and helping others get on their journey to do the same. I've been feeling more & more tuned in to the fact that we're all perfect the way we are, going through what we're going through (we each have our own reality that may or may not make sense to each person), and could all use reminders to dial in to our divine selves even more in each moment. How can we live & be more authentic in every moment, while turning up the volume on who we really are and what we're really passionate about?

On A Typical Friday Night I am

I am into spontaneity and flow. Making homemade cashew ice "cream".Making rhythmically driven noise (pretty & noisy types). Working on a deep poem. Practicing dancing or doing Danza.

The Most Private Thing I’m Willing To Admit

I tend to Meow a lot. Usually out loud, and sometimes at inappropriate moments.

You Should Message Me If

You appreciate being present and want to discover someone to share memorable moments with. You are truly open to an abundance of possibilities. You've got more passion/drive in life than most. You choose to live life the way that makes sense to you (rather than following everything as pre-described). You've explored enough about yourself to deeply know you. You actually know the world we live in, and you're still in gratitude to be here in this time! You'd love someone to learn, grow, & live passionately with. You get that logic has its limits. You get the gist of me and my energy from this, even though there's SOOO much more to me (I am a Libra)! ;)

You work to be kind to yourself and others. You can manage your expectations and can trust me to manage mine. You don't hide from your despair and you know joy. You are strong at the broken places.

If your profile is real and you live near or in Portland. I am very busy and do not have time for games

I will NOT meet expectations of masculine behavior. I am strictly sexually submissive. You will have to pursue me and make me feel desired.

0 notes

portlandbycalifornia · 8 years ago

Text

The Snow Storm Project

Portland has been hit with a lot of snow this year. When I say “a lot” I mean an inch to a foot per storm. Three times in the last few months the city has come to a total standstill because of snow for up to a week. Portland is not doing a good job when it comes to this winter weather. Obviously, a Californian needs to get involved to make sure that during the next storm the snow can be quickly cleared so we can all still get to brunch in the afternoon.

Californians are known for their quick reactions during times of disaster. Take the droughts California has been experiencing, for example. In reaction to the drought we stopped washing our cars, we stopped watering our lawns. I even stopped washing my hands. Everyone did their part. Those water saving measures paid off in full. As of last month, California is out of the drought! Due to our ingenuity and ability to pull together as a state, the problem was solved.

So, as a Californian who has personally helped her state free itself from Mother Nature’s cruel grasp, here are some suggestions for Portland to get back on its feet the next time we get some ice and snow.

1. Fit all bicycles with snow plows

Portland is full of bikes. Why not enlist all of us bike riders to get the road cleared. Plows at Lowe’s are only $158.95 (and don’t forget we don’t have to pay sales tax here). There are 700,000 people in Portland. Lets say only 650,000 people are bike riders (a low number). It would only cost the city $103,317,500 to give everyone a plow and get the roads cleared. Better yet, it is a one time cost. Plows could be easily stored in yards and garages after the winter has passed. It would also get everyone out of the house and relieve the “cabin fever” that comes with a large storm.

For those who are less active might I suggest….

2. Create Snow Art

Snow is nature’s clay. All the snow in each neighborhood can be pushed from the streets into a centralized location. Neighbors can work together to create public art. Creativity would be expressed AND roads would be cleared!

3. Craft Beer Snow Cones

What goes better with snow then booze! Gather up snow and make snow cones for all. This should be done prior to idea #4.

4. Pee Outside

Nothing melts snow faster than warm urine straight from the bladder. Urine is sterile, and with all of the hot tea Portlanders drink in the winter, it will be clear and have little smell. 700,000 Portlanders peeing on the snow only 3 times a day will have a huge impact on clearing the streets in a hurry*!

*Peeing on the icy street will have more impact than peeing in your yard. Please do not poo on the snow.

5. Knit a giant blanket to warm the snow

This might take a few days, but we could start on it in advance of the weather.

6. Donate the snow to California

Share with your less fortunate neighbors. They can store it up for the next drought.

0 notes

portlandbycalifornia · 8 years ago

Text

The California Recruitment Project

I am from a small town in Northern California, called Ukiah. You most likely have never heard of it. It is about two hours north of San Francisco and an hour inland of the Mendocino Coast. It has a population of about 17,000. It is where your weed came from before 2015.

I moved to Portland on the suggestion of a close friend who had moved to Portland from the Ukiah area about five years ago, before the great migration. By random circumstances within two months of my move, 6 other Ukiah families that I know well moved to Portland. That’s right, 6 families. Including myself, my offspring, and the offspring of my friends the number of people who left our small town in the summer of 2015 was 22 people.

Portland may be overrun with Californians right now, but has anyone thought of the impact all of these moves have been having on California? Well, I sure have. The gain of 22 people to a city of 635,000 is a drop in the bucket compared to the loss of 22 people to a town of 17,000. It is simple math. In order to alleviate the burden Ukiah has faced in the loss of 22 of its finest citizens I have been working diligently for the past year to recruit Portlanders to Ukiah. The Ukiah Recruitment Project has been simple.

Here is how it works:

At all times, I keep a stack of VisitUkiah.com Outdoor Visitor Guides with me at all times. These were easily procured from the only coffee shop in town. These guides highlight the finest points of the outdoor life in Ukiah (motorsports, disc golf, fishing, regular golf, etc.) When I find a free spot on a bulletin board, or table I place one there. I have been placing all over the Portland area so they will be seen and it will spark interest in Ukiah. In time, I’m sure a buzz will be created, as that is the normal progression of all that is ironic in Portland. That buzz, in turn, will lead to a move to Ukiah. A move of 22 people to even out the loss to Ukiah and the gain to Portland is my goal. If more people moved though, it’s just a bonus. It would create room for more Californians to come to Portland, where we can work on our goal on making Portland a better place for us to live!

I have recently decided to expand my Ukiah Recruitment Project to include the rest of California. I’m sure many other California towns and cities are smarting from the loss of their citizens as well. It is time for Portlanders to make up for the loss that so many are feeling right now. It is time for Portlanders to reach out to California tourist organizations and Chambers of Commerce to see what they can do to help. Ask for some literature from their city and start getting the word out in Portland. If it is within your financial means, take out billboard space. If those people who have evidence that God exists have the funds for a billboard, I’m sure one among you can afford one. Or maybe you yourself could make the ultimate sacrifice, and move to California. Whatever city in California you choose, I’m sure they will be grateful to have you*. It is the LEAST you can do in exchange for so many high quality Californians.

*IF shave your beard

0 notes