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Later New Orleans! Much fun was had. We'll be back. 🖤⚰✌

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New Orleans: Day Seven, A Farewell to Harms

The human body was not meant to endure such physical and alcoholic duress, so we played our cards right for tomorrow's excursion back home and decided to do nothing today. Nothing. Nada. Zilch. Zip. Just some 'Ip Man' on Netflix, fruits and veggies and vitamins and plenty of water, and naps. Oh and this really sweet and darkly surreal stop motion short film from 1987 called "Street of Crocodiles." (YouTube it!) But you know, outside of that we didn't do anything. Really that's all we did. Nothing more, nothing less.

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Okay, we needed to have one last hurrah on the town so we waited til sundown before we went to the only place we didn't spend nearly enough time in, especially when compared to places we were only just passing through in. Yes, we went to Frenchmen Street. The True Story, The Real McCoy of NOLA is Frenchmen Street. You may have read earlier around our second or third day we passed through on our way to a rock club and saw a street band doing dixieland with a splash of hip-hop. Well, we had just a taste of honey but now on our final night, we went for the whole hive. We got reservations at Marigny Brasserie and damn if the food wasn't so good it could have doubled over as anethesia. Some crawfish fritters, BBQ shrimp and grits, and creole alfredo pasta together are enough to take down a rhino! A quick walk up and down Frenchmen street got us a second wind and it was pleasant to hear the sounds of all the music while lightly shambling back home; it made for a nice send off on our last night in beautiful, swinging New Orleans. We'll miss this place dearly but clearly we'll return again some day. There's still so much to do and see! Did you know Nicolas Cage, NOLA's prized and adopted son, is erecting an obnoxious gold pyramid for his grave in St. Louis Cemetery? Or what about seeing the bayou and a whole crew of gators? We didn't steamboat up the Mighty Miss! Cripes we've barely scratched the surface! Watch out NOLA! We ain't done wit'chu yet! Not by a long shot.

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New Orleans: Day Six, Maybe a Stint in the Dungeon Will Refresh Your Memory

As we near the end of our trip here in Gnarly N'awlins we are pleased as punch that we have seen just about everything we've set out to see. As grueling as it has been, the toll it has taken on our bodies has been well worth it. With those accomplishments in mind we felt it acceptable--even necessary--to languidly traipse around the city with nothing much in mind other than being in the bright sun and feeling the river breezes. It gave us good time to casually wander in and out of tourist shops and scope the scene for alligator stuff for Eris (FYI, Eris is our daughter if you never knew [though we can't see that being possible if you know remotely anything about us]). Given the high concentration of those types of shops over the French Quarter that didn't take long.As we near the end of our trip here in Gnarly N'awlins we are pleased as punch that we have seen just about everything we've set out to see. As grueling as it has been, the toll it has taken on our bodies has been well worth it. With those accomplishments in mind we felt it acceptable--even necessary--to languidly traipse around the city with nothing much in mind other than being in the bright sun and feeling the river breezes. It gave us good time to casually wander in and out of tourist shops and scope the scene for alligator stuff for Eris (FYI, Eris is our daughter if you never knew [though we can't see that being possible if you know remotely anything about us]). Given the high concentration of those types of shops over the French Quarter that didn't take long.

Never the type to not be looking or soaking in what is directly around, we happened upon the Pharmacy Museum, which had been one of the few places we had remaining on a tentative to-do list. We dived right in and right off the bat the place was both haunting and charming. Imagine admiring the rich brown color of 19th century wooden cabinetry and then shifting your gaze downward a few inches and landing on an array of metal catheters with the circumference of an oridnary drinking straw. Ouch right? And don't get us started on all the Civil War era field surgeon's tools for amputations and blood lettings and such. Although fairly common knowledge, it's still a trip to see how often morphine, heroin and other opiates were used in over the counter medicines. Stranger too was how lax the general populace was about opium (it was considered just another vice that people could over do, not any worse socially or morally than if you were an alcoholic or if you liked "dancing" so much that it somehow ruined you financially and reputationally [is that even a word?]).

Lunch time was right around the corner yet we stood outside of the museum a little puzzled because we didn't know what we wanted to eat. Such a dramatic problem, right? We had eaten everything we'd wanted to try while here so we found it difficult to make up our minds about what to eat. Luckily it dawned on us that we hadn't eaten any seafood that was boiled, which itself is a very distinct way of enjoying it. We're talking ordering crawfish by the pound and breaking the bastards open to suck out their brain juice and eat the tail meat. Honest to god, it's good but cripes is it such a lot of effort for so little payoff. Reminded us of how labor intensive eating an artichoke is. Anyway, the best place for that was in Mid City, due north of our homebase by about 3 miles or so. Besides being a satisfying meal of boiled crawfish and some fish and chips, it was near a good place for dessert: an Italian bakery. Mmmmm... almond flavored everything ruled!

Now you may have read at least twice in previous days about a place called the Dungeon. Thursday night was supposedly the night they opened up the second floor and really kicked up the jams. We really wanted to just use the whole night for rock and rolling at that place so after lunch we more or less headed home to prepare for a rocking good time that evening. Thankfully before we got home a chance encounter with a man asking for a cigarette yielded us a free rap/poetry spitting with flow and speed so precise Busta Rhymes would have given a polite nod.

We cleaned up and loaded up on fried chicken and walked through the doors of the Dungeon and lo and behold they had just opened up their second floor. Some of the rock/metal music we could have done without but the other half was just what we wanted. 50-50 is cool with us. The best part was actually the size of the room and number of PA speakers. It was relatively small and they had a hefty amount of heavy duty speakers around the place (including directly above the heads of anyone sitting at the bar). Because the place was so small and the speakers were so numerous the volume of the music didn't have to be loud or at a high volume; in fact, it could be relatively low, which in turn would not be ear damaging. A large number of low volumed speakers combined is still loud but its the perfect loud. You are able to feel the difference since every speaker is buzzing at the same and adding to a cumulative loudness. Now... why is this the best part? Every single radio rock/metal hit we'd heard millions of times before went from nothing special particularly to hearing them in a whole new way, probably the way they were intended to be heard and felt. Example: Powerman 5000's "When Worlds Collide" now felt like an intense chain-gun head banger in the middle of a war zone when the chorus kicked in. We both hadn't felt that so positive about that song since it came out when we were in middle school. Add that type of transformation to other 90s songs and we had one hell of a nostalgic booze cruise on the S.S. Lollapalooza for roughly 5 hours! Unsurprisingly, the next morning we could hear each other just fine. If only other rock clubs/bars around the US could have a similar set up. Dungeon, rock and roll salutes you!>

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My other dream home, the former home of Anne Rice. Those trees though...

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Found my dream home on a walk to get coffee. Only thing that would make it better would be some spooky landscaping. 🕸🖤

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New Orleans: Day Five, Not Your Garden Variety

As fun as staying near the French Quarter is, it can limit you by offering everything in one convenient place. By that token it robs you of some of the other finer sights of New Orleans that take a little more effort to reach. Wanting to break the chain, we got Jazzy Passes for the local public transit system and hit up one of the many streetcars in town that would take us further west than we had been to a little segment of New Orleans called The Garden District. It's a special place that is home to many posh houses and mansions mostly dated around the mid 1800s. There is a wide variety of architectural styles and even some famous faces.

The best part of the Garden District is how relatively small it is. We're talking like 16 square blocks here, including Lafayette Cemetery. So you don't necessarily need a tour guide (which we saw were as numerous as roaches in a flophouse) but instead you can Google a self guided tour. We opted for that option and made great head way. Most of the mansions were in the Grecian Revival, Spanish, French, a few Italian and just one of three Gothic mansions in the whole city! The Gothic one was sure cathedral-like. Most notably we saw the house where NFL quarterbacks Payton and Eli Manning grew up (and they still own it); the house famed Vampire fiction author Anne Rice used to live in (surprise, the wrought iron fence surrounding the house looked as though it was made of skulls); the former house of Nine Inch Nails frontman Trent Reznor (currently owned by actor John Goodman); Sandra Bullock's home that she never stays in; the beautiful home in which Jefferson Davis, the former and only President of the Confederate States of America, died like a punk; and right in the heart, the house that is most famous for being the inspiration for the Haunted Mansion in Disneyland! Minus the color the two are nearly identical!

Since it only took roughly over a half an hour to tour the area (remember 16 square blocks is tiny when a cemetery takes up a quarter and the houses on the tour only took up one half of the total blocks) we decided to keep exploring. A trip south towards the river yielded Magazine street, a nice little street with a bit of everything including a great bar called the Bulldog with 45 taps containing just about every beer from Louisiana we could think of and then some. Even better was Dat Dog which we found a few streets down. Dat Dog is a godsend for hot dog lovers (try an alligator sausage!)... Buffalo Exchange is worth a stop in any city but this one was a little weak for our tastes. No worries because further west was Audubon Park bordering the Loyola campus. It was a very beautiful park with plenty of ducks and dog walking and a sneaky little place for us to pound some cold ones called "The Meditation Pavillion." We couldn't have put wanton day drinking better than "meditation." As luck would have it there was another Whole Foods nearby to refill on snacks and we felt we could brazenly walk up to this one without any possible mugging incidents and by god we were right. Some of the most docile, milquetoast people we've seen. I'm pretty sure they'd have hurled their wallets at us if we aggressively sneezed in their direction by accident.

Now we'd been putting our bodies through quite a gauntlet of exercise and alcoholic tendencies across the past few days so we thought we earned a chill night to do laundry and watch Netflix with our dinner to-go. When they say the fried shrimp and alligator po boy is spicy what they really mean is "pray you don't wake up the next day." Yeah that was going where you thought it was going. We think we owe our rectums an apology too.

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New Orleans: Day Four, Do Your Feet Hurt?

Caloo, calay, it's time for play and a meal exceptionally cray!

THIS time we checked ahead and were positive that we could eat at the Joint (you'll remember we tried going there on Sunday only to find it closed) so we gave ourselves plenty of time and walked there instead of relying on transportation, public or otherwise. The temperature has been creeping up lately so it was at a perfect blend of wind chill and sun warmth on your face. When we arrived it had a long line (and it had just opened its doors 3 minutes before we got there) and it was due to some military conference happening that morning. Finally able to order and dig in, it was paradise. More so, it was a great contrast to the Texas style BBQ we enjoyed in Houston (thick and smokey sauces). The Southern style at the Joint had wonderful vinegar based sauces that had a tangy sweetness to them along with a very interesting apple cider vinegar sauce. The south sure knows how to BBQ!

Not wanting the food to slow us down, we briskly walked to a nearby post office to mail some postcards to family and loved ones. In true "us" fashion, the postcards are covered in cemetery stuff. Now it took us a near solid hour to walk the two miles from where we were to the Joint that morning, plus it was a big bump to our daily walking mileage, so we figured we ought to take transport back to our neighborhood. We chose the city bus for this one and the sixteen stops went by so fast we think we gotta give it up to NOLA. They know how to bus.

We wanted to see some antique shops on Royal Street because we'd read about that street being the place for that type of stuff; however, they were antiques in the sense that they were treasures of 18th/19th century aristocracy and every dealer had the same ones (chandeliers, chandeliers, chandeliers). If endless ceilings of brass chandeliers weren't enough to roll your eyes out of your skull, most of the places smelled like that classic "old people stench" you remember from your childhood. What a bust. Maybe we can salvage the afternoon...

Well after about 25 miles of continuous walking from day 1 our feet and calves and backs were reaching their limits. We had to do something lest we find ourselves relegated to wheelchairs at an early age. Thank goodness for the Asian Foot Reflexology parlors becuse those places are no joke. Instantly turned us around and got us back on the path for the evening.

A quick stop home and we walked to the Dungeon to do more than fish-gazing this time. It was relatively empty when we got there (SCORE!) and local beers were cheap (SCORE!) and no one was hogging the juke box (HAT TRICK, BABY!). We easily killed a good two hours there chatting and such, but we had a job to do that night. We needed to heed the call of rock and roll and take that head trip to outer space. A slice of pizza later we were rolling up on the scene and got to chat with the guitarist of Dead Meadow at the Santos bar. Good dude and we exchanged local delicacy hot-tips. Santos loves Lemmy from Motorhead and they actually had a sound guy that was excited to be working so this was the prime place to swim in the sonic space jams of Dead Meadow. What we didn't count on was that the music would be so hypnotic and spaced out it was literally lulling us into a trance-like coma. Plus they had cheap vodka sodas and banana coladas which really threw that feeling into overdrive. Before we could find out if we could fall asleep standing up we made the wise decision to just head home. That's the second time Dead Meadow has made us tired (1st time at Psycho Las Vegas). Next time, we're mainlining coffee.

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New Orleans: Day Three, NOLA Death Trip

Maybe not as morose as you’re thinking. But then again?

More refreshed than we were the two previous days, we set out for a local coffee treat at a nearby place. Chicory coffee is delightful! To the untrained tongue it's no different than regular coffee but there is a noticeable tang if your palate is trained for coffee. Caffeinated and salivating for carnage we walked a quarter mile to the St. Louis Cemetery #2 and it did not disappoint. Many wonderfully constructed and decrepit tombs abounded but sadly many were heavily damaged by Hurricane Katrina according to a Lyft driver from day one. If anything it added a rotten ambiance to an already dreary destination.

Only having just cleared our ravenous throats we upped the ante and booked it to the Museum of Death! MWAHAHA! Honestly it was very informative and quite eerie. Some highlights included a prison painting by Dr. Jack Kevorkian entitled “Fever.” Google it and see some of his others. Having recently watched season one of the TV show Fargo we were surprised to find that the villain of the show, Lorne Malvo, played by Billy Bob Thornton, had his last name derived from the last name of one of the two D.C. Snipers. Lastly, any self-respecting museum concerning itself with death would have video footage of grisly, untimely demise, right? Well, MoD had a dedicated theater to some pretty unsettling footage... and it was juxtaposed with some Benny Hill-esque jazz music. Dress it up all you want but it doesn’t make seeing the half-crushed skull of a Chinese man that was pinned under a dump truck any more palatable.

Well... needless to say we needed a pick-me-up after that one, so we purchased some swag and headed to a less depressing carnival of human clusterfucking: The World War II Museum! With the help of a neutral silver and chrome color scheme, witnessing the history and horror of The Bigger One was easier to digest. It truly is a grand museum with plenty of information and loads of vehicles, weaponry and other relics of that age. We don’t dare to claim we understand all of the historical complexities or the zeitgeists of every nation involved but we were truly shocked that the connecting theme from the end of WWI up until the Invasion of Poland was “global inaction.” Seriously, it was as if Hitler, Mussolini and Emperor Hirohito just did whatever they wanted and no one was willing to actually oppose them until it was way out of hand. Lesson learned.

Extensive walking (averaging possibly 7 to 10 miles daily) coupled with two museums focused on historical suffering was quite draining so after some bitchin’ pork based meals, we headed back to base camp and planned for a more relaxed night checking out metal and punk rock themed dive bars. Outside of getting some beignets and jamming on a jukebox at a neat placed called The Abbey it was pretty uneventful, unless you count fish-watching at the Dungeon quality entertainment. Well, it was entertaining enough I suppose but the prospect of sleep not fueled by total intoxication sounded more appealing, so if you’ll excuse us, we’re gonna get some serious zzz’s! See you tomorrow!

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These oysters were so damn good.

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New Orleans: Day Two, The Recovery

Well, if you read day one you can tell we went out on one heck of a high note (you can ask Grant about that one specifically). That being said, waking up the next morning was a challenge. Thank goodness we brought vitamins and bought plenty of water and fruits/deli meats from Whole Foods the previous day. Once we collected ourselves we didn’t want to waste any time since it was nearing 11:00 AM. It was closer to lunch time so we planned on eating. Onward to The Joint for BBQ!

…Unfortunately we forgot to check if the place was even open that day, so our Lyft driver dropped us off and beelined down the street, stranding us at a closed restaurant… in the rain! Yes, it had just started to rain and we were no where near our Airbnb or any place we knew of that could feed us. We quickly found a “beer lab,” which is code for “rinky dink warehouse with a few benches and some pretentious beer recipes”, right down the street. Thank you hipsters! The iced tea and “french table beer” were serviceable, but we were hangry and had no food prospects close to us so we decided to brave the rain and started to hoof it back towards civilization.

Bratz Y’all was one of the nearest places and we hit a home run. Classic German cuisine and Grant’s favorite beer styles from the Rhineland. The chef was feeling cheery and gave us free shots of Kuemmerling. It was better than Jagermeister but still had that black licorice flavor, plus some herb that tasted like cough syrup. By the end of our meal the rain was clearing and we were next door to the riverside Crescent Park which was filled with wonderful plants and flowers and took us back towards the French Quarter.

It just so happened to plop us right at the mouth of the French Market which proved useful because we got Grant some sunglasses and Eris an alligator backpack. A local dispenser brought forth banana daiquiris and margaritas to carry us to the heart of the French Quarter where we randomly came across another shopping opportunity that appealed more to Natalie’s sensibilities: yarn! 4 skeins of crazy colorful Japanese yarn were procured and are waiting to be made into something fun. And some free praline samples on top of it. By this time we needed to get off our feet and recuperate for the night ahead so went back to home base and cleaned up.

After a shower and nap, we felt like we needed a real taste of the local fare, so back to the French Quarter for a wonderful smorgasbord of Cajun seafood at Mr. Ed’s Oyester House, including: charbroiled oysters, jambalaya, creole gumbo, and fried crawfish crabcakes. It was heavenly and you haven’t had oysters until you get them charbroiled. Food in belly it was time to get a serious drink. It don’t get more dead serious than absinthe and we both agree it’s worth one time and one time only unless you are into black licorice/jellybean water. Honestly, the process of the bartender preparing it was the most fascinating part! Reminds you of the Flaming Dr. Pepper process.

Next, live jazz music was something we’d wanted to get a good earful since Bourbon Street was chock full o’ lame rock cover bands and kids drumming on plastic buckets for tips. To get the goods we had to make it to Frenchmen Street and it did not disappoint. In every bar and on a street corner or two there was jazz of all styles. Of particularl interest, a Dixieland jazz ensemble on a street corner. Honey dripping off the honeycombs of your ears, mmmm mmmm.

To finish the night we decided to acquaint ourselves with a couple of recommended “metal” bars, two to be precise: Siberia Lounge and Santos Bar. Siberia had some poetry open mic thing happening so we didn’t stay long, though their Slavic food menu looked tantalizing. Santos was more of what we wanted. That night they had an acoustic jazz guitar focused quartet that was playing lots of bouncy jazz melodies and had the kids swing dancing. Grant don’t dance (well at least not that kind) so we didn’t hit the floorboards. Regardless, by this point over the whole adventure we had walked close to 10 miles and both of our backs and feet were about to hang themselves, so went back home. We didn’t drop dead as badly as the night before but can guarantee the late night partying and ambulance sirens blaring all night next door couldn’t even begin to rouse us. An adventure for the books was written solidly, and we have so many more the next coming days. Stay tuned…

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New Orleans: Day One

Half of Saturday was spent traveling. After arriving at Sky Harbor we realized our flight had been moved up a full hour, leaving us with only 40 minutes to check our luggage and get through security. We made it to the gate just as our group was starting to board. As we watched MST3K to pass the time we were repeatedly treated to someone's beastly lingering poo gas. Following a short layover in Houston, where we had some surprisingly good Texas-style BBQ and overpriced drinks, we arrived in New Orleans around 1:30 PM and checked into our Airbnb. 

After we were settled into our home for the week we decided to hit up the nearest Whole Foods for some provisions. Since it was within walking distance and we'd been sitting all day so far we figured a solid walk was in order. Not knowing the area well we made some assumptions about the neighborhood surrounding Whole Foods which we shortly realized were incorrect. After making it there without incident and grabbing some things we decided we probably shouldn't be walking through that area on our own and took a Lyft back to the house with our groceries instead.

Since Grant had never been to New Orleans we figured a visit to Bourbon Street was our first priority for the evening. After buying a Jesus Lizard cassette at the tiniest record store we have ever seen, we got a couple of fruity alcoholic drinks in tall neon green containers called Hand Grenades. These were not the only comically large beverages of the evening. After some time we also purchased a Big Ass Beer (actual name) as well as a Hurricane. Needless to say we were in pretty good spirits. As luck would have it the St. Joseph's Day parade began making its way through the French Quarter at the same time we were there and we managed to find a great spot to watch it.

We were feeling pretty hungry by the time the parade ended so we hit up Crescent City Pizza Works for a couple of slices before walking along the waterfront to Harrah's Casino, the only smokeless casino either of us has ever been in. Grant managed to turn $25 into $100 at a Blackjack table and we made the wise decision to move on while our luck was good. Tiki Tolteca was nearby so we had a couple of victory tiki beverages called Zombie and Painkiller and enjoyed the tropical ambiance.

I had previously spent a bunch of time looking for events happening at the same time we would be here and managed to catch wind of a 60s mod dance party that would be going on at Saturn Bar. We had a few more drinks there and danced our asses off for several hours before deciding to turn in for the night. Grant, being the charmer that he is, managed to get the Uber driver who picked us up to turn off the R&B he was listening to and put on Electric Wizard instead. Perfect way to end the night! For us anyway...

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I’d been dying to check out Tiki Tolteca and the drinks did not disappoint. I got a Zombie and Grant got a Painkiller.🍹🌴

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Quiet moment in Houston between flights. We are both full of pulled pork and potato salad. Surprisingly good food for an airport. Drink prices were ludicrous though. 😱💸

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We are on the move. So many clouds! ☁️

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New Orleans Honeymoon

When we got married in October of 2017 we made the choice to go on our honeymoon a few months later so we could space out the expenses a bit. Both of us have been wanting to visit New Orleans for awhile and we figured it would be a fun place for us to spend some time alone together as newlyweds.

This will be Grant’s first time in New Orleans but I have been there once before for a trade show. I spent most of my extremely limited personal time on that trip doing crowd-pleasing activities with co-workers or customers, which was fun in its own way but left me wanting to go back to experience the city on my own terms. We are excited to be able to take a whole week to do that together in just a few days.

Huge thanks to our family and good friend Paul who will be taking care of the kid and fur babies while we are gone!

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What is this?

Howdy friends! We will be using this space to post photos and blurbs to document our travels around the US together and also to allow our friends and family to keep up with us. We have a few fun trips planned this year so stay tuned!

Next stop: New Orleans, LA from 3/10 to 3/17