pof-fails

[pof-fails]

stuff-inabox

Going through my 'visitors' this morning I couldn't help noticing there were 2 long-white-haired gentlemen who looked like wizards, and 3 chaps with variations of the profile name [something]inabox. I don't get the box thing, it is still a mystery to me where this particular meme came from. For some reason, this pic of mananddoginabox just made me giggle insanely. His indignant dog looks highly less than pleased about being cooped upinabox. For the purposes of his owner's love life, however, he acquiesced. "Read the body language, dude. I don't do boxes on dating sites" he is growling under his breath. Between gritted teeth. There is no escaping that is the face of one pissed off dog who will not settle for many more efforts with self-timer.

[pof-fails]

Just ... Fuck Off.

We had swapped a message a few days ago.. but he seemed rather pushy and I want to take things extremely slowly.. so nothing came of it. I was disappointed about the pushiness as I thought he sounded kind of fun otherwise. I didn't give a jot about his ethnicity, certainly not as much as he clearly does. I feel sorry, but incredibly angry to be casually labelled a neo nazi simply for declining a drink. There is nothing more tiresome than a guy all over you one minute then heaping on the vitriol and abuse when you decline. Fuck YOU

[pof-fails]

Wonder who else got a copy paste message from Mr Fly this morning?

[pof-fails]

I wonder why I am always tired .. It is from deflecting life's crushing disappointments every single day and pretending not to care. This takes so much mental and emotional energy, though I try not to notice.

[pof-fails]

THIS. 

Another prime specimen right here.

I’m aware that some men pretend they want relationships in order to get sex. I’m aware that those same men frequent dating web sites. But I’m not going to run out an bang the first dope who asks. Even if I do want sex.

I’ve done the whole ‘just sex thing’ and it basically made me feel like this.

I need more than just sex. So no thank you sir. Good day.

Eventually a decent one will come around though….right?

[pof-fails]

I'm a Top Grade milf

[pof-fails]

When you get sent: "I saw you peek, why haven't you replied, don't be shy!" as a follow-up message...

An appropriate response would be?

[pof-fails]

Found inside a strawberry <3

[pof-fails]

*Sorry son

:-o

[pof-fails]

:-O Words do actually fail me.

[pof-fails]

This made me giggle :-D

[pof-fails]

Who's "she", the cat's mother?!?!

(as someone's granny used to say)

[pof-fails]

There is NOTHING in my profile that says I am after a quick shag. I went out of my way to write the opposite. The arrogance of this particularly offensive twat of a knobjockey just floors me. I couldn't be bothered to post the rest of our 'conversation' before I finally blocked him because he made me feel so angry I actually wanted to grind a stiletto into his fucking testicles and then make him swallow the resulting slime off my shoe til he puked. Him and his shallow contriving sexual predator type epitomises everything about the online dating world that I hate.

[pof-fails]

No more online dating

I am retiring from online dating (except to honour one already arranged date next Weds with a chap who seems almost quite normal ... we shall see).

But for my own amusement I may still trawl the murky depths of POF and OKCupid, and see what gems are passed my way. They of course will be posted here for a shared feeling of derision / despair by anyone who reads!

I have decided to throw in my lot with 'offline dating', take 2 weeks off my evening job, try to pep up my social life during the week and get out and meet real people, and if anything develops, so be it, instead of grinding through the mill of interviews, second guessing and fending off the over sexed that is online dating.

Today I discovered meetup.co.uk .. this is the way forward for me for now. But I promise to continue posting the cringeworthy and hilariously wrong, as it comes my way.

ps - spent an hour on youtube today riveted to the "art" of the pick up artist - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QWGv34Cqk4k

[pof-fails]

POF Fail #2

Don't all rush, ladies!

[pof-fails]

POF Fail

Let me RUSH to go on a date with you!!!

This guy's (only) profile pic featured him wearing a bloodstained t-shirt and cuts to his face.

[pof-fails]

Sometimes it becomes too much hard work to keep putting that continual spin and gloss on your life in order to appear 'normal' and appealing to potential partners.

Monday morning messages - "Did you have a good weekend?" Real answer - I sat in bed all day Saturday with the laptop, drank 1.5 bottles of wine and amused myself by sending random pissed messages to strangers on internet dating sites until I passed out. Sunday, another day to get through, but fortunately a pal was around similarly bored as me so we went out for lunch. Time passed successfully. I really cannot be arsed to actually get up these days.