poesie-des-nuits-blanches

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i feel like i might just vomit my stomach and brain and melt my brain through the fever the incessant crying has been fostering

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it's been gnawing at my inside like acid

and it's coming up my throat and my eyes and burning everything in its wake

i am way too invested in people

have always been

fucking hell

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

i'm do scared of losing my best friend. who i'm pretty sure doesn't consider me his best friend.

i'm pretty sure i'm the annoying afterthought

i'm fucking terrified.

i don't think i can let go but it's been eating me alive

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

i think i've probably cried for at least three hours total today

always about the same thing

have been crying about it almost daily for at least a week

fuck

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

Sacrificial Lamb I

Men believe they will be forgiven – 

Absolved from the tarnishes on their souls –

If they sacrifice one of those;

Always the purest,

The softest,

The youngest and

Kindest of hearts.

A small lamb –

Who knows no evil –

Ripped away from his unsuspecting mother’s warmth

And from Mother Earth’s grace.

He is now ashes and smoke, climbing into the skies –

An offering.

Sacrificial lamb and softest dancing smoke…

Bitter and dark as coal are the

Hearts of the ones holding the

Blade over a Virgin throat and

Throwing the Pure into hungry flames.

Why would such a crime absolve others?

Sweetest lamb, who’s life is ripped away…

There, rivulets of blood running

From the Fairest One’s throat

While the stench of his burning corpse

Poisons your supposedly Blessed air.

Feast, feast you monsters!

Celebrate, drink and sing sacrilegious prayers;

Believe in forgiveness through spilling blood;

Create barbaric rites and

Believe they will save you!

Create Holiness in the Blood of the Innocent and

Find artificial peace in Your Crime.

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

got a new notebook before going to church and ended up staying a bit longer than usual to write :>

a loooot of thoughts had been stirring up there so, felt good to write them down lolz

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

thinking about sharing some poetry and writings...

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Mary, my love

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church pics from today :>

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mourning the ancient greek gay Achilles x Patroclus play the Church burnt again.

The Myrmidons will forever be missed 😞

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

wanted to go to school then church.

didn't go to school.

so not going to church.

screaming.

i have so much shit to do for tomorrow and friday.

but i can't focus and i feel UGH so. maggot-y maybe?

yeah i'll go probably go to church tomorrow after school...

but i gotta move my ass to work cuz getting drinks friday after class

ugh.

dies.

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

rotting within myself lately fr

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ethel cain u are so real, i'd feel the same boo

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

i am not really jealous of earthly possessions or anything like that

but i am so bad when it comes to relationships in general, especially friendships. like. wdym u're seeing them AGAIN? that makes it so that u've seen them 3 more times than me this year. what if i killed myself

[poesie-des-nuits-blanches]

i am a mix of jealousy, melancholy, numbness and a secret fourth thing

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jealousy gnawing at me so bad had to block notifications (can't block him tho. would be too messy)