poesdaughter

[poesdaughter]

Jasper: "Wait am I fiancé or fiancée?"

Me: "I'm pretty sure you're one e and I'm two."

Jasper: "Okay yeah that makes sense. Someone kept refering to you as one e and I was pretty sure that wasn't right."

Me: "Wait, if I'm non-binary does that mean I can ADD e's?! Can I be fiancéeeeEEEEEEEEEEEEE *drones like an emergency broadcast*?!"

[poesdaughter]

☠️ creaky-freak Follow

i get d/newlyturned can be useful but why are there vamps asking the stupidest questions like how to bite….. even humans know that u just open your mouth and close it on something… not that difficult.

⚰️ draculabitme Follow

I’m so tired of this new generation of vampires. Back when i was turned, if you didn’t know how to hunt, you starved. These fucking babybats with their bloodbags and willing victims are defanging the name of vampires.

🧛🏻 garlicker Follow

why are these vamps asking deaddit anyway, shouldn’t they be learning these things from their sire???

🦇 batty-betty Follow

hey, biting correctly can be tricky to master! and some vampires don’t have a relationship with their sire where they feel comfortable asking for advice. when i was turned, my sire was my former master and it took awhile to feel like i could talk to her freely. plus, most fledglings are abandoned by their sires these days. i think it’s great that these babybats have a place to figure these things out.

🧛🏻‍♂️ snacula Follow

op left out the full screamshot anyway

he’s having trouble sucking enough blood from the wound, which is something most fledglings struggle with tbh.

tip to all the babybats: if you feel you’re not getting enough blood you probably aren’t sucking hard enough. you gotta really work at it. it takes time to build up the muscles to drain someone within minutes. and if you really want to puncture an artery go right ahead, just prepare for things to get messy haha (and don’t expect your victim to live through it)

and here is a site made specifically for newly turned vampires, it’s got all you need to know as a fledgling

🪦 f34st-of-bl00d Follow

reblogging for that last bit, i struggled with sucking when i was a fledgling and i had no sire to tell me why.

another tip: bite the chest when starting out. you can move on to the neck once you’ve gotten a hang of that. and i wouldn’t recommend the wrist or thigh as a convenient bite

🧛‍♂️ fresh-blood Follow

saving this post for later

[poesdaughter]

[poesdaughter]

[poesdaughter]

Can just...take that off really quick. Then they both can have their heads in each other's laps. Perfect.

[poesdaughter]

death of subcultures and death of third places are directly connected and you can’t convince me otherwise

[poesdaughter]

Micheline Pitt as Rick Baker’s Bride Of Frankenstein for M∙A∙C

[poesdaughter]

I truly hate the word "unalive." There are so many other euphemisms that fictional Italian mobsters worked so hard to provide you with and you just ignore them.

[poesdaughter]

shrimp afraido

[poesdaughter]

I LOVE Galavant and it massively needed more seasons

ah yes, Galavant, the musical comedy fantasy show with bangers such as

"Local King Realises He Has Zero Useful Skills"

"Gay Bar Anthem About Undressing An Oblivious Straight Guy"

"The Ruling Class Sucks, How About We Poison All Of Them"

"The Most Scathing Critique Of Representative Democracy You Will Ever Come Across"

"Yelling About How You're Going To Very Sneakily Kill Your Brother"

"Pirate Shanty: Run Aground Edition"

"Disney Princess Love Interest Duet Except The Lyrics Are About How You Barely Tolerate Each Other" (twice)

and of course

"A New Season AKA Suck It Cancellation Bear" which is the actual real title of that song and cannot be improved upon through humorous description

also have I mentioned that all of these are composed by actual real Disney composer Alan Menken, of Little Shop of Horrors, Tangled, and basically the entire Disney Renaissance fame, and wow do they sound like it

[poesdaughter]

me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit

mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters

me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU

[poesdaughter]

[poesdaughter]

Wake up there's drama

[poesdaughter]

1. Yes you absolutely should! If you want progressive minded people to talk about them, I'm part of a chill discord focused on them!!! Feel free to message me!

2. For the most part they hold up very well!!!! The ONLY movie I have an issue with is Pardon Us for their one instance of Blackface 😫😬

3. There are some instances of "oof that's a stereotype" [re: Barnaby, Babes in Toyland] or some 🤔 ("hmm...") moments (some double entendres, domineering wives, bad guys being truly bad guys, etc.) but for the most part their comedy is clean and family friendly and genuinely freaking hilarious

4. Their pre-code stuff can have mildly gay undertones (my fave) and scantily clad women (also my fave lmfao)

debating on getting the laurel & hardy box set…i haven’t watched it since i was a child so idk if it holds up

[poesdaughter]

[poesdaughter]

Any Old Port (1932)

[poesdaughter]

(full article here)