plumsaucemadein2005

[plumsaucemadein2005]

just learned about dopamine decor and i feel crazy

tiktok people are just now discovering you can put things in your living space that you like. , Guys

[plumsaucemadein2005]

They say hindsight is 20/20 but I think mine's like 18/20 because the A in ADHD stands for astigmatism

[plumsaucemadein2005]

I love platonic crushes so much

I get so giggly and swoon and obsess over how cool they are and then when they talk to me or make a funny joke and give me *the* expectant look I want to twirl my hair and also turn into a cloud of bubbles and also melt because OMG THEY NOTICED ME quick quick I need to look cool and approachable

[plumsaucemadein2005]

putting butter on toasted bread is so good has anyone else tried this shit

[plumsaucemadein2005]

Talking to my younger sister and she says "I ship them-" and then she stops looks at me and goes "shipping, you know what shipping is right?"

The joys of never really mentioning fanfic to your family members

[plumsaucemadein2005]

I think Gandalf's problem was spending too much time with the elves. Like yeah I know he's fucking ancient and was probably there when the world was being built, but the elvish languages are so damn incomprehensible that I could imagine he'd be walking around with his head so full of quenyan verb conjugations that he'd walk past an innocent hobbit telling him "good morning" and answer with "what the fuck does that even mean?"

[plumsaucemadein2005]

ben affleck and matt damon are the poor man's nick frost and simon pegg

[plumsaucemadein2005]

💞💞💞💞💞💞💞

‘You should only send hearts to ppl you’re romantically involved with’

WRONG! BOUNDLESS PLATONIC LOVE, WARMTH, AND ENTHUSIASM BE UPON YE!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

[plumsaucemadein2005]

Dudddddeeeeeee

Bruhhhhhhhjjj

The frick?

[plumsaucemadein2005]

she kissed a girl and kinda liked it?

[plumsaucemadein2005]

I have gotten a baby into oat milk and the elder children into Chappell Roan. Agenda has been furthered, over.

[plumsaucemadein2005]

So excited to see wicked gmrkfkekke

[plumsaucemadein2005]

When encountering someone stuck in an Apology Loop, I do not uselessly ask, or worse, demand that they “stop apologizing.”

Rather, I have found it much more useful to affect a theatrical tone and formally “absolve” them. “Like a Renaissance pope, I absolve you, my child.” Usually the combination of having the absurdity of the situation highlit, combined with a touch of physiological release if I can get a laugh, is enough to soothe their nerves a bit and get them to break the loop. And who knows maybe they feel absolved I dunno I have an authoritative bearing

[plumsaucemadein2005]

way back in 10th grade i had gym class with a scary girl with neon green & black hair who chewed flavored condoms like chewing gum and once showed me a picture of her boyfriend's back scratched completely bloody. she only ever addressed me as "eyeliner." one day i asked why.

"cuz of your big gay stupid pretty eyelashes"

"....shouldn't it be 'mascara,' then?"

"shut up, eyeliner."

anyway that's why i'm gay now

[plumsaucemadein2005]

I'll unalive you

[plumsaucemadein2005]

[plumsaucemadein2005]

Its always "snap out of it, this isnt you!" And never "how was the brainwashing chamber was it fun it looked fun"