pleasantlysecretdream

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Every Batboy can walk, run, jump, and backflip in 8 inch stilettos.

Bruce did not teach them that.

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bruce: *frantically* have you seen damian????

dick: *frowning* what? no . . . wait, did you LOSE HIM??

tim: *walking by* have you checked jason's apartment?

bruce: *horrified* what would he be doing there? god, i thought we made sure they would never interact!

dick: *grabbing his shoes so he can run out the oor* we've gotta get to them before they decide to add arson or manslaughter to the schedule today

tim: *frowning as he watches bruce and dick run from the manor* what the fuck?

meanwhile at jason's apartment

damian: *taking notes in one hand while he holds a book with the other* this wickham fellow is surely a crook. not a single one of his interactions with lady bennet has been devoid of suspicious moments.

jason: *nodding sagely as he cleans a gun* i ain't gonna spoil anythin' but you're on the right track

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Asking for directions

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*phone call*

Jason; I’m sorry, Talia. I can’t kill Bruce.

Talia: You asked me yesterday if I could “break Bruce out of the afterlife so I can kill him over and over.”

Jason: Yeah…that would have been fun. But he’s given me an offer I can’t refuse.

Talia: He killed the clown?

Jason: He gave me a first edition Pride and Prejudice book. It says by a lady instead of Jane Austen.

Talia: You are sacrificing months of training and planning for a book?

Jason: I’m weak, Talia. I’m weak.

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how does being punched in the face feel like

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ummmmm excuse me Human, i am noticing we are not petting me? i am a little baby of seven (7) years old and i have never been loved in my whole entire life (tragedy.) your eye balls must not have seen when i ran in front of your legs six times in a row. i will now Scream until this mistake is fixed

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9 year old me after deleting Limewire off the family computer after a spam pop-up came up saying the FBI is coming to arrest me for illegally downloading “Sk8er Boi” by Avril Lavigne

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Valentine’s Day is barely for couples it is most importantly for elementary schoolers to exchange candy and for thematic fanart and fandom events.

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STACKEDNATURAL ⇉ 175.5/327

15.11 The Gamblers Written by Meredith Glynn & Davy Perez Directed by Charles Beeson Original Air Date: January 30, 2020

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OOHHH FUUBLBLBLBLB

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Bruce, high on pain meds: one time I wiped your memory and returned you to the orphanage because you had tried to convince me that Superman didn’t murder my parents.

Dick, also high on pain meds: we listen and we don’t judge

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Tim, finally able to go sleep after solving a rough case: Alright, line up.

Cassie, Bart and Kon: *all line up and stand at attention*

Tim: When I say don’t add to the population, I mean…?

Cassie, Bart and Kon in unison: Do not get pregnant, get someone else pregnant, clone someone, give a robot or Artificial Intelligence a consciousness or mess with the time stream and accidently increase fertility rates again.

Tim, nodding in approval: And when I say don’t remove from the population…?

Cassie, Bart and Kon: Don’t kill anyone or thing that has a soul or consciousness directly or inadvertently unless through the legal system or if it’s a genuine accident, in which it is not our fault.

Tim, rubbing his eyes tiredly and yawning: If you’re going to leave the planet or time period?

Cassie, Bart and Kon: Tell you or a trusted adult.

Tim: and who is a trusted adult?

Cassie, Bart and Kon: WonderWoman, Superman, Oracle, and Batman between 1 am to 11 pm only.

Tim: good job, gold stars all round.

Cassie, Bart and Kon: YES!

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every day I wake up and it’s fucking january

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if a werewolf dies but they were an organ donor does someone get a new kidney that turns into a wolf kidney once a month