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oh thats!…rlly on the nail

And now: a collection of images I had saved on Pinterest prior to ny OCD diagnosis

In retrospect I think it was fairly obvious

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daveed diggs omfg this man

i love him im dead serious ohrwguuu

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not to say mindset doesnt make a difference bc it absolutely does, but implying that mental issues can be fixed w a pinch of positivity is objectively wrong

“Just use the power of positive thinking!” Babygirl I got OCD that’s gonna turn into a repetitive compulsion and unhealthy coping mechanism for my lack of control

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Genuinely 😭 like no bb if i try that itll only pile on but thank u ml

“Just use the power of positive thinking!” Babygirl I got OCD that’s gonna turn into a repetitive compulsion and unhealthy coping mechanism for my lack of control

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whenever i say “screaming crying throwing up” this is what i mean

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like even me wanting to touch or hug someone isnt attached to love necessarily although its easier if i love someone bc often that comes after i feel safe enough to make an effort

Content Warning sex mentions

Being aromantic allosexual is wanting a friend with benefits but the benefits including cuddles and hand holding in the benefits not just sex.

I really hope I can find someone I can fuck, cuddle and be emotionally close to but not date them. I keep having day dreams and regular dreams about having a roommate I fuck and cuddle with but not date or say I love you two. Septate rooms septate hearts just care, cuddles and sex.

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1) I LOVE BEINF ASKED FHAT QUESTION TOO

2) Thats fair! My definition differs a tad as for like half a year i became rlly obsessed w the concept so i define love and attraction as separate concepts. Like I view love not as a feeling but rather a choice or an effort bc feelings are so wishy washy and change so constantly and yet relationships can and should be stable and enduring despite what someone feels that day. I think its fine to define love as a feeling, its just when it comes to relationships i like to add my previously stated definition along side of it. I feel strongly for the people i love but my love for them is not that feeling and is rather an effort and—to me, more importantly—a choice to be there for that person. :)

Content Warning sex mentions

Being aromantic allosexual is wanting a friend with benefits but the benefits including cuddles and hand holding in the benefits not just sex.

I really hope I can find someone I can fuck, cuddle and be emotionally close to but not date them. I keep having day dreams and regular dreams about having a roommate I fuck and cuddle with but not date or say I love you two. Septate rooms septate hearts just care, cuddles and sex.

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And then we’ll somehow convince ourselves it cant be ocd and get anxious over saying stuff w/o diagnosis

I should clarify that I’m not actually diagnosed with ocd, I just went through a 4-week long phase where I was afraid to touch anything and had to wash anything I did because I got pinkeye for a day, invented a system for knocking on wood in middle school where 3, 9, and 27 were good numbers, check the stove every night, and texted my friends about all the possible ways I might be secretly evil so I wouldn’t feel guilty because I am a normal person!!!!!!!!!!!!!😁😁😁

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RAHHHHHHH (vent acc edition) 🗣️💚

"Friends dont look at friends that way" COWARD. I look at my friends with awe in my eyes, my chest is filled with love, im glowing because i get to be near my friends. I look at my friends and i would give them my everything. SO SKILL ISSUE, look at your friends with all the love that you have

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i got SO close to this once but i was too scared to ask for a qpr :(

I just really want to find “my person”

but a lot of people say that, and it apparently just goes without saying that they mean it in a sexual and romantic way

but no I just want someone that I feel completely comfortable with and can live with and make breakfast with and go see new movies with and just always know that they’ll be there for me and that i’ll be there for them but without any sexual or romantic expectations and like I want a committed stable relationship but in a queerplatonic way and ughhh it seems impossible to find

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and either way, symptoms of ocpd can show up in different ways

I think people confuse OCD and OCPD... like when people say, "omg, I'm so OCD," when they really mean a neat freak, they could actually be referring to OCPD

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how do you define love?

Content Warning sex mentions

Being aromantic allosexual is wanting a friend with benefits but the benefits including cuddles and hand holding in the benefits not just sex.

I really hope I can find someone I can fuck, cuddle and be emotionally close to but not date them. I keep having day dreams and regular dreams about having a roommate I fuck and cuddle with but not date or say I love you two. Septate rooms septate hearts just care, cuddles and sex.

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People don’t talk enough about the guilt that can come from recovery. Or the second guessing, or the invalidation we may feel.

Thoughts can come like, “if I’m feeling okay now, was it really that bad?”

Just because you were able to heal, doesn’t mean your trauma, depression or pain weren’t valid.

You deserve to heal and feel better.

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sidenote when i was reading this, is saying “i love u” to friends not normal? 😭

Content Warning sex mentions

Being aromantic allosexual is wanting a friend with benefits but the benefits including cuddles and hand holding in the benefits not just sex.

I really hope I can find someone I can fuck, cuddle and be emotionally close to but not date them. I keep having day dreams and regular dreams about having a roommate I fuck and cuddle with but not date or say I love you two. Septate rooms septate hearts just care, cuddles and sex.

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😭 love that!

So apparently trauma can cause OCD or make symptoms worse

I've had symptoms my entire life I just didn't realize it was OCD until a while ago

But it definitely got worse