plamp

[plamp]

my gay ass could never have a nut allergy

[plamp]

Sex havers with penises be like let me cram my thingy in

[plamp]

*mick jagger voice* i'll never leave

my pizza burnin'

[plamp]

*to the tune of Beat It* show me hot monkey, Kong is my type

[plamp]

aliens did 9/11, bush build the pyraminds

[plamp]

simple pleasures:

- having sex with/jacking off while talking to your best friend

- black pepper toscano cheese from trader joe's

- homemade vegetable soup while sitting in bed on a cold dreary day

- interacting with various little creatures

- going for a drive and getting some coffee

- nap time

- blowing raspberries at cops that drive by

[plamp]

a sneeze is just a cum of the nose

[plamp]

concept: butt nipples

[plamp]

sometimes you experience grief and hell and just need to fuck hard with the door open and ough like a caveman let out the primal yell of a wild boar when you cum

[plamp]

what if we pooped out of our vaginas

[plamp]

No Homo We Smokin Penisas

[plamp]

No Stand will make me laugh harder than this

[plamp]

a sneeze is just a cum of the nose

[plamp]

call that Homo erectus

gay and horny

[plamp]

gay and horny

[plamp]

i think pants should be pulled up to just under your armpits

[plamp]

people who get pedicures are sus. i don't trust anyone who spends that much time and resources making their feet look fuckable