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a while ago I read this sci-fi short story from the 50s where a guy is kidnapped and interrogated by aliens using a very sophisticated lie detector, but he realizes that the lie detector works off technical truth, and with some careful phrasing and misdirection, he manages to make them believe that humans are a race of immortal, overpowered, omniscient telepathic beings. and it works.

my favorite part is when he tells them that humans are "capable of transportation without the aid of spaceships or any vehicles, just by using mental power to control physical matter". it's true, we can. it's called walking.

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why hasn't no one posted the kringlefucker yet. you guys used to love the kringlefucker.

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Really can't go wrong in fantasy with a giant skeleton being part of the environment. I'm talking colossal, part of the scenery bones.

Oh yes, let me wonder what the hell it is, how it died, how long it has been there. Let me walk on its ribs pathways, climb inside an eyesocket, look at where it fused with the nature around it.

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God bless the sickos over at the AO3 for providing the absolute most conceptually bizarre yet extremely compelling fiction for free.

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beefy tank Gotham Knights Jason Todd by Nick Robles

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A little rundown on the AU: Jason comes legally back from the dead after Roy uses some of his old contacts, they get married to ensure power of attorney, Jason changes his name to Harper both because he was feeling mushy about it and because it's easier not to immediately have press hounding them because no one has heard of Jason Harper before. Jason has been recovering from his injuries for a while now and while he is figuring out what he wants to do on a vigilante side of things, he figures out his civilian life. He gets his high school diploma, gets an actual driver's licence, things like that.

Then he wants to get a job. He starts as a regular mechanic because he knows how vehicles work. It's fine. He gets a couple of certifications. He then just. Keeps going. He gets so many mechanic certifications for different vehicles because he already knows a lot and has always been a fast learner. He eventually ends up working as an aviation mechanic for a private hangar and he gets a very good reputation with their clients because no matter what type of plane they have, he knows what's up. He also knows what's up with their cars. Their bikes. Their boats. Their helicopters? One of the clients is an army veteran. Jason knows all the stats on all of the combat vehicles the guy ever mentions.

Jason's boss and coworkers have seen all the certificates. They are all framed on the walls. They all think that Jason very clearly has either autism or adhd or both and hyperfixates on vehicles. They are all extremely supportive of his needs and will listen to him talk about books because one of them read that it's important to support their interests. They keep calling him Sheldon and making The Big Bang Theory references. Jason has no idea what they are talking about.

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yeah sure I'll post this separately why not

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Part 29! chat I love baby deranged Tim so much I need more of him in my life

Prev ~ Beginning ~ Next

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drinking an entire bottle of wine then yelling at this like it's the super bowl

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I was at a bookstore looking through the art section and I saw a spine that said The Camden Town Nudes which was interesting because this didn’t seem like the bookstore where I would ever find something like that and I wanted to have a casual look but like. This also wasn’t exactly the bookstore where you felt like you could look at naked pictures let alone just suggestive paintings of them, it’s a really small shop as well, so I was like right I’ll just take a quick peek, I’m an art student, I love history, maybe I’ll buy it. I looked both ways and saw the shopkeep had left momentarily and no one was about, so I opened it and found it was an entire book featuring nude Edwardian women all painted by Walter Sickert between 1905-1912 and it was actually quite a revolutionary set of paintings for its time given that it featured very raw depictions of working class nude women in dark London instead of the elegant, white bedsheet clad, Demure middle and upper class women usually depicted.

And of course RIGHT as I flip to this lady’s boobs practically taking up an entire double page spread, every customer in a 5 mile radius appeared from around the corners of the shelf including the shopkeep and immediately regressing to a wet, pathetic Edwardian man from 1908, startled, I dropped the large book which caused a giant SLAP on the floor in this already silent store thus causing all patrons to look down at me scrambling on my knees to close a giant book of Edwardian boobs and let me tell you it would not have been nearly as funny had I not immediately felt like some Edwardian local pervert who just tried to sneak a cheeky peek at the erotic book in the bookstore only to drop it dramatically causing a scene, red up to his ears trying to shove it back on the shelf. Like such a casual and normal thing in modern day but looking at Edwardian women suddenly turned it into this egregious act as I apparently became possessed by the spirit of a moustached man in a bowler hat and morning coat going Good Heavens I mustn’t gaze upon these images in public lest the constable haul me away!

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ffuck. surrounded

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A pound of smoked salmon for the lady. STAT

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ive found that partially treated mental illness can sometimes look to uninvolved onlookers like faked mental illness.

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automated text reply that just says YOU ARE NOT THE ONLY PERSON I AM LETTING DOWN

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why does the US have a theme park ride thats just presidential speeches. who would want to visit that. that sounds like something yeonmi park would make up about north korea

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begging small indie musicians to post lyrics to their songs because with all the love in my heart 🫶i dont know what ur saying🫶 and no one else can tell me 🫶