pkmn-conspiracies

[pkmn-conspiracies]

pro tip: whenever you read the pokédex and you think to yourself “woah that's kinda wild is that true?” it either isn't, or it's a desperate thing they do when they're starving.

Fun fact from the Pokedex: "This Pokémon generates electricity and channels it into its legs to keep them going strong. Boltund can run nonstop for three full days."

This is correct, but you probably shouldn't allow it. That's a panicked survival tactic that usually leaves them vulnerable after running. If a Boltund runs for three days straight, that doggy is either in danger, or starving and chasing down prey.

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@xrbadex wanted some Lucas art and an unusual set of pokemon, i rather like the missing. No.

[pkmn-conspiracies]

What is more important to determine the power of an Espeon, the head jewel or the tail split? Or do neither or those things matter?

Though the Espeon fan-club's all over will probably argue this, theres actually no correlation between the gemstone, or tails, in regards to this pokemon's powers.

The tail itself is very useful for balance, aids with agility sure, but we've got an old Espeon who has only about 6-7cm of her tail left, and is perfectly strong and capable without it (though she did need to do some physio when she first lost it to help with the balance thing)

As for the gemstone, sure, clarity, cut and size can change the physical appearance and beauty, and some believe that a larger, more vibrant gem is more powerful, but theres actually not a lot of data to support this. The only time the gem becomes less effective is if it's damaged, or lost. It acts like a focus, and an Espeon without a gem will have uncontrolled bursts of power, they'll struggle to harness their psychic energy, and almost need a complete overhaul in their training to be safe in public again. It can be a long and quite difficult journey, but a held item that will focus them is a good option to help out. We like to use shiny stone shards, they seem to help this pokemon the most to regain control.

[pkmn-conspiracies]

I believe there was this old show called ‘Dexbusters’ where two Unovans tried to test the various ‘facts’ the Pokedex presented on whether they were true or a bunch of lies. Loved that show as a kid, and it taught me to take the facts from the Pokédex with a grain of salt. There was one episode where they tried to test if a Sharpedo can really sink a supertanker. It failed to sink even a yacht.

Ah yes, I remember that show! We had it in Kalos too, a dubbed version at least.

They should really bring it back, a lot of trainers could benefit from not taking the pokedex literally.

[pkmn-conspiracies]

MISSINGNO AND THE "GLITCH" POKÉMON

this’ll be a very long post, and i feel bad for clogging your dashboard, so the full post is under the cut!

hoo boy, this is going to get weird. if you thought that mythical pokémon were stretches of the imagination, you definitely haven't heard of this strange, reality shattering group of cryptids.

ORIGINS OF GLITCH POKÉMON

it's not really known when rumors of these pokémon actually started, but, from personal experience, they've been around for a good while– enough for them to be popular elementaire school ghost stories. there have been an extremely low amount of reported sightings of these pokémon, if you could even call them that, which, we'll get to later. for some reason, most sightings occur within the kantonese island of guren, or cinnabar island– but the mainland is also a notable hotspot for these occurrences.

from most eye witness accounts, the physicality of glitch pokémon are.. strange, to say the least. most are completely unable to provide any sort of description, citing no possible human word that could be even remotely accurate to what they had seen. for those that are able to say something, they are described as extremely large– allegedly ranging all the way from 3m - 26.7m (10' - 81'80"). their appearances are said to be hidden in a static-like fog, although there are a couple of people who claim to have seen them, unobscured, and that they looked similar to complete fossilized specimens of kabutops or aerodactyl. in kalos, many of these pokémon are reported to look somewhat like a shiny bulbasaur.

WHAT CAN THEY DO?

in an unsurprising twist, there were a few of these witnesses who attempted to battle glitch pokémon. for some reason, some of them have reported that their battles have ranged on for days at a time– even though no sudden disappearances of them have been documented. some of these glitch pokémon will spontaneously burst into flames, while others seem to be inflicted with poison of unknown origin; every single trainer reported strange effects upon their own pokémon during battle, but, once their battles have concluded, these injuries miraculously healed as though nothing had happened.

it's important to note that these "pokémon" likely aren't actual pokémon. based on these trainers' accounts, they don't actually have any traditional offensive attacks that other pokémon have. this could suggest that they don't possess the element-channeling organelles that are signature for the domain pokémonica, which means that they aren't actually pokémon– at least not under the current definition of a pokémon.

POSSIBLE THEORIES

so– what the actual fuck? no, like, seriously, what the fuck? why are dozens of people reporting these sightings, and why are all of them somehow consistent in their stories– even when they have never spoken with one another personally?

HALLUCINATIONS

POSSIBLE SIGHTINGS OF LEGENDARY/MYTHICAL POKÉMON

the first and most widely accepted theory is that these people are suffering from a mass sociogenic illness, which causes them to vividly hallucinate for prolonged periods of time. and honestly? i really don't think that's the case. it's basically impossible for so many people, scattered around the world with no contact between each other, to all hallucinate very similar experiences independently of each other. could some of them have been hallucinating, sure, but i just can't really believe that every single account can be waved off like this.

one subset of this theory is that this was caused by the consumption of hallucinogenic drugs, but that can easily be disproved by the fact that each witness, when interrogated further, had passed drug tests– even if they had used in the past. all of these people were stone cold sober when they saw what they'd seen.

due to their extremely strange, cryptic nature, some people believe that these so-called glitch pokémon are either entirely new legendaries, or illusions caused by legendaries. for this theory, people often point to the pokémon known as hoopa, which, in its mythos, was a trickster god who had the ability to create illusions and transport objects through space through its rings. however, this doesn't really explain the time distortion reported by many of the people who encountered glitch pokémon– unless hoopa is working alongside dialga, i wouldn't really consider this to be factual. as for the theory that these glitch pokémon are actually new legendary pokémon.. yeah, i honestly just find that to be a little too much stretching of the imagination to justify that. that's all i, personally, can really say about that.

SIMULATION THEORY

oh god do i really have to talk about this? okay, so some people, including some witnesses themselves, believe that this phenomenon is proof that the entire world is a simulation inside of a supercomputer or whatever. because of how weird that shit is, they just don't think they can logically explain this in any sort of biological way. this group is also where the term "glitch pokémon" comes from, as it was extremely popular when the idea spread through cultural osmosis.

GOVERNMENT EXPERIMENTS

honestly, this take is very conspiratorial, even for me. just.. why? how would any sort of government or massive organization manage to create anything like what was described? the only known man-made pokémon that comes even close is type: null and silvally, but, even then, the two concepts are hundreds of kilometers apart. i'm just going to mark this one down as straight up impossible.

honestly, i would have liked to come out of this with a full opinion, but i really don't have one, even after my research. i want to believe that not everyone is lying about these so-called pokémon but.. it really just doesn't feel real? at the same time though, what would be the motivation behind that? i literally just do not know what to think about this, because it's just so plainly bizarre and unnatural– even for conspiracy standards.

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god your grandpa is my fucking icon. that is my ultimate goal of himbo energy.

Most gyms that appear to have bottomless pits simply have a floor that’s one or two feet lower, painted black

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If ur lgbt reblog this and give me ur opinion on tea, beer, coffe and fruit juice

[pkmn-conspiracies]

Live and Pre-recorded Pokémon Battles

In the current age, most professional battles are broadcast on television, often hours - or even days - after they take place. As such, most televised battles go through some form of post-production. Even if this editing is minimal, designed only to streamline and clarify beats of the match, the viewing experience is markedly different from seeing a battle in the flesh. If you’re lucky enough to get a ticket to a stadium match, here’s a few things that you can expect:

There will be pauses. Lots of them. If the match isn’t live, producers often edit out non-significant interventions by the referee, of which there are always plenty. Refs are cautious about excessive force and there are lots of finicky rules about how long moves can be sustained, so the whistle will go if anyone oversteps. ‘Breathing room’ intervals are also frequent; every half-minute or so, referees will command the pokémon to step apart, just for a few seconds. This gives them time to collect themselves, as well as breaking up combat that has become too one-sided. 

At the same time, everything will seem faster than it does on the television. Post-production offers the opportunity for clear camera angles, close-ups and illustrative slow-motion - none of this is available in a live match. You will see a pokémon get knocked out and have no idea how it happened.

On a similar note, expect to be confused. Some stadiums will mic the trainers so that their commands are audible to the audience, some will only provide in-ear comms so that the trainer can be heard by their pokémon. In either case, it will be hard to follow what’s happening. Trainers often give commands in code or shorthand so as to retain the element of surprise. What little you can make sense of will be blanketed by cheering. 

If you’re going to see a fire specialist, don’t get seats for the front row. There may be tickets available. They may be staggeringly good value for money. Don’t be tempted. You will spend the entire battle sweating into your seat. 

Commentators vary in quality and not all stadiums will have them. Whether you find them a lifeline or a nuisance usually depends on your level of knowledge about battling. Trainers and enthusiasts tend to get annoyed by their ‘stating the obvious’; casual fans rely on it. In any case, live commentating is much less cohesive - and far more excitable - than the kind that accompanies a pre-recorded match. 

Rain Dance will, nine times out of ten, extend beyond the arena. Don’t bring an umbrella. The people behind will hate you for it. 

A television camera can never capture just how blinding Dazzling Gleam can be. At the last PWT, Flannery infamously donned sunglasses during her battle with Valerie. Everyone made memes about it, but protective eyewear is actually recommended at certain matches, especially if you’re in the front row. 

Everything will look messier than it does in a pre-recorded match. Producers often ‘clean up’ battle footage for the sake of clarity and visual appeal - when fire moves are used, most of the smoke is edited out, as are shots that linger on the gunk and debris in the arena. When the battle is done, expect the field to look filthy - ash everywhere, scorch marks, shattered rocks, pools of acid, chips of ice, clumps of fur. Psychic specialists tend to leave the arena in the neatest state. Poison and ground trainers vie for the messiest.    

[pkmn-conspiracies]

beheeyem is a h u g e fan of rubik's cubes, so i just went out with some extra cash i got and bought this really massive pentaminx for them to play around with. usually, it takes roz a good couple of hours to solve it. i have a bunch of other cubes for them, like some that are in all sorts of irregular shapes, ones with mirrored surfaces, and ones that have braille on them. honestly, puzzles of all kinds are great for a bored psychic type.

Oh yeah. Puzzles for psychic types are the best. Once i gave my meowstic a jigsaw puzzle and my boye was /hooked/

My Medicham goes through 10,000 count jigsaw puzzles in a week, and for my birthdays sometimes I request puzzles for her so I don’t have to buy them weekly

[pkmn-conspiracies]

it's a very guilty pleasure of mine to watch "bloopers" in high profile pokémon battles. that video of flint's hair getting caught on fire from his flareon's overheat, and then being subsequently put out by the stray water from his opponent's lickitung using hydro pump is just.. so perfect in its chaos. i watch it religiously.

Somewhere on YouTube, there’s a compilation of me nearly dying several times during wild Pokémon battles. The battlefield gets really hectic especially when you’re using strong attacks that tear up the field. I can’t imagine how bad it must be in Galar when they’ve got dynamax battles

Okay well, I wouldn’t say dying per say. More like, nearly getting hit by attacks that were either dodged or misfired

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huh! that's a relief to little eight-year-old pando, who had an irrational fear of being eaten by a carnivine 😅

Carnivine are not typically picky eaters, but most have been noted to really, really enjoy meat of all kinds

Take that as you will

[pkmn-conspiracies]

hattrem and hatterene, although possessing empathic telepathy and extreme sensitivity towards the emotions of people and pokémon alike, won't actually go and beat you up if you happen to be crying within 50km of it. actually, if you are in a secluded area with little other people around you, it may try to make its way towards you to help calm you down– so you can stop bothering it with your very loud human emotions; otherwise, it will simply teleport itself away.

honedge, doublade, and aegislash will not steal your life energy with its ribbon– while they are actually covered in digestive enzymes (such as the tentacles of jellyfish and jellyfish-like pokémon), they are unable to feed on intangible concepts such as "souls" or "life energy". their diet mainly consists of insects, vegetation, and most metals.

the pokédex is so unreliable– the best way to learn quickly about pokémon is from published pokézoological encyclopedias. good luck on your essay!

So, I am writing an essay about what the Pokedex gets wrong for my class. Right now, I am jotting down potential dex entries that are wrong in a blog post. Since I have the Wooloo thing down now, are there any other Pokedex entries that are harmful to the actual Pokémon in any way (Either physically or reputation wise)?

-The idea that Ghost Pokemon used to be human beings has lead to decreased adoption rates for Ghost Types in Pokemon shelters

-Bewear is often targeted by poachers due to their unique fur pattern, and they often get lighter sentences due to the belief that Bewear break people's spines

-The "Banette is a doll that came to life" legend sometimes result in trainers forgetting to feed their Banette, or putting them in washing machines to clean them

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Well, it's not exactly crying per se.. more just.. emits a shrieking noise by rubbing her blades together whenever she's feeling General Emotions.

are we talking about pokémon stereotypes? oh boy. my honedge, excal, is literally the sweetest little cinnamon roll the world has to offer. i've seen her cry after eating a delicious berry, or while watching old sitcom reruns. she loves to cuddle everyone and everything, and is mostly unaware that she is swords.

My father has an Aegislash from his trainer days, I didn't get to be around him much until I was older because sharp objects and small children don't mix.

But I had no idea they could cry!

[pkmn-conspiracies]

i know that, in cyllage, we'd actually have different superstitions based off of a vivillon's pattern– kind of like fortune telling, more or less. some are very positive, but others? not so much.

if you see its elegant pattern, you're apparently going to experience great luck in love that day, however, a vivillon with the monsoon pattern will have the opposite effect. back when i was a kid, there'd always be this group of girls, and sometimes boys, who would try chasing down and catching an elegant pattern vivillon.

some other notable patterns are tundra and sandstorm, both thought to bring bad weather; garden, foretelling bountiful harvest and are really popular with farmers; archipelago, said to bring bad fortune in relationships with friends and family; and icy snow, associated with death (of either yourself or a loved one, depending on who you ask).

all in all though, it's a load of bs if you ask me– fun to think of, but pretty meaningless.

There are a lot of superstitions surrounding Vivillon, often associating it with evil and bad omens. For this reason they’re not too commonly owned in certain regions

[pkmn-conspiracies]

What is the best medication for preventing parasites in pokémon, and for getting rid of them if the pokémon already has them?

This is a super broad question. While some species of Pokémon can use some human medicines, most can not, and most can't even use the same medicines as other Pokémon. Additionally, different Pokémon get different kinds of parasites. Your best bet on this one is to talk to your local Pokémon Center about your specific Pokémon. I am not a doctor or a Nurse Joy, and although I know a lot about Pokémon and how to care for them, parasites aren't super common among abandoned Pokémon. Usually, a trainer has brought their parnter to a Pokémon Center at least once when they first caught it, and Pokémon Centers generally go ahead and vaccinate new patients against common illnesses for their species. All medical treatments given here at the facility are on recommendation from a Nurse Joy and with the help of our team of medical practice Pokémon who have passed training courses.

[pkmn-conspiracies]

#there's a reason there are some laws in galar #and he can account for maybe four

dude you can't just leave that in the tags and not elaborate

Most gyms that appear to have bottomless pits simply have a floor that’s one or two feet lower, painted black

[pkmn-conspiracies]

pro of owning a doublade:

– made of cool sentient swords

– can and will cut watmel and pinap for you

– makes people scared so you don't get approached by strangers

– will sometimes let you dual wield them to make you feel like a badass

cons of owning a doublade:

– they are very cuddly. this is not ideal in a pokémon that is just two sentient swords.

– that's it. that's the only con.