pinkpudgypearl

[pinkpudgypearl]

I try so hard to do well but im ngl I prbbly need some psych meds bestie

[pinkpudgypearl]

Wow I can myself slowly starting to resort back to my fantasy and thats very telling of my headspace atm

I keep slipping back into imaginary worlds from my favorite books and shows and all tht. Honestly its all fine and dandy but the only thing thats scares me is going back to my habits in my senior year of high school. I was literally so indulged in my fantasy world that its embarrassing for me to articulate any of that.

[pinkpudgypearl]

I don’t know what the right thing is or what the solution is and even crying feels like a waste of time. I cannot take it. Its like no matter which way I try to go about things I always reach a stop and I cant do anything about it. I’m tired. I’m so fucking tired and i never say this because it sounds obnoxious but genuinely,, no one can get what I’m going through and I’m just in so much pain

[pinkpudgypearl]

Can I please please please stop overthinking please

[pinkpudgypearl]

i just wanna feel okay

[pinkpudgypearl]

Im ngl things have been p tough lately and the only solution to that in my head is getting myself back into lowering my weight? Atp its not about looks the way it used to be,, I just want to feel like ive at least got something figured out.

THINGS CURRENTLY SUCK ASS SO GUESS WHOS BACK ON THIS BLOG

[pinkpudgypearl]

THINGS CURRENTLY SUCK ASS SO GUESS WHOS BACK ON THIS BLOG

[pinkpudgypearl]

I figured at this point that setting achievable goal weights that have a perceivable goal date is much more motivating

Currently I have abt ten days to lose 3 kgs

And if I keep it up I’ll be at my lw once college starts again

[pinkpudgypearl]

Really eager to fast today its been a fucking rough one and I cant even take it

[pinkpudgypearl]

Those pre period cravings are fucking my shit up

[pinkpudgypearl]

[pinkpudgypearl]

trying to not let it get to me (it gets to me)

[pinkpudgypearl]

“how could you be so stupid” well you know what. its really not that hard

[pinkpudgypearl]

Man a vain part of me wants to go back to uni the next semester and have everyone shocked at how much weight I’ve lost.

A while back -for a glimpse of an eye- I started to not hate the way I look. I even stopped considering becoming underweight and I felt like I look better this way. But I dont know..? I feel like this can help me feel accomplished, and I won’t even lie, I really miss that sense of control.

[pinkpudgypearl]

[pinkpudgypearl]

I dont want to slip and fall again I was doing so well

[pinkpudgypearl]

discarded // 3.16.2021