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I think one of the hardest things I’m struggling to accept is that Liam will never get a happy ending. There is no silver lining here. It’s just tragedy all the way around. I know his fans and those that are part of the bigger 1D fandom will remember him kindly, but for a lot of people his name will be tied to the lowest point in his life and the unfairness of that kills me.

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Things cats were right about all along:

Fuck staying hydrated by drinking enough water - eat! more! wet! food! (watermelon, cucumbers, SOUP!)

Feels great to be really high up in your house where you can see the whole place (loft bed loft bed loft bed loft bed!)

Express yourself as clearly as possible when people are touching you and you don't want them to.

Optional, but you can also express yourself clearly when your people are not touching you and you want them to.

Sometimes it's important to just go "hmm. actually, I don't care" and wander off.

You don't have to be the strongest or toughest to defend yourself, it's enough to just be difficult enough to not be worth the trouble.

Ghosts will eventually leave if you stare at them for long enough.

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i feel like i’m missing a limb, and it’s stupid because i didn’t know him, but something is gone where it should be

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as nauseatingly sad as it’s making me, i also think it’s so so beautiful that people from all different walks of life are holding memorials and tributes for liam. it’s always been one of my favorite things about the band—the way they touched people in every corner of the world. liam was always so curious and so respectful of different cultures, different places. and now fans are mourning him in different ways, making space for him in their culture and tradition. i do think he would have loved that and i’m sure it’s a comfort to his family. it’s not going to change anything but it must make them immeasurably proud to see how good their liam was, how many lives he touched and how many people he made happy. it’s very bittersweet

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when one direction said can we stop this for a minute

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ThE BEST PART OF thE STUPID FCCKN UNDERCOVER VIDEOS IS WHEN HARRY DROPS HIS ROLLIG THING AND LIAM GOES

OH BARBARA

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satan reading out every thing simon cowell has done in his miserable life while he greets him at the gates of hell

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I keep coming on Tumblr to refresh and I see my old 1D friends returning to grieve together by reblogging posts from each other.

Just like we did in years gone by when there were leaks and PR bullshit. And fun things.

We came together in the good, and it’s comforting that we’re together in the bad.

We are in this together. With our boys.

Forever. 1D.

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i can't move past Louis' "A message to you Liam if you’re listening" and Zayn's "Liam, I have found myself talking out loud to you, hoping you can hear me" because there was STILL SO MUCH left unsaid.

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anyway less than a week ago my beautiful wife and i were lying in bed holding hands and she looked over at me and said something like "I love being wives. I can't believe we have One Direction to thank for this," and we both started laughing so hysterically that I spit on myself some, and then we tried to estimate how many queer couples have One Direction to thank for their partnership, and then we were like ok that's too many to possibly count, how about if we narrow it down to MARRIAGES that owe their initial meeting or deepening relationship to One Direction, and we thought well we personally can count about a dozen, so that means there are probably hundreds. Thousands? What a time, dude. What a fucking thing.

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We used to joke that being a 1d fan is tragic for all the trauma we've been through but nothing could've prepared me for the tragedy of his death and their grieving.

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I feel so fucking lucky to have been shaped into the person I am today by One Direction. 2024 me does not exist as I am today, without them. How lucky am I to have be changed by them. I’m here today on this tumblr, with all of you- friends, mutuals, strangers- because of them. One Direction will always be woven into the fabric of my memories, experiences and dreams. That is a truth that cannot change. I am so so lucky to have loved them and be loved by so many of you because of them. Wow.

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it's crazy to think that memories you've had for years will just never look or feel the same again. all those memories from 2012 when i first got into 1D, all the concerts, all the songs and the first time hearing those songs, the first time watching music videos, the posts and memes here on tumblr... like none of it will ever feel the same. it'll always be tinged by loss and a degree of emptiness from here on out.

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Thank you 1D for bringing me some of the best friends and fandom community I could have ever asked for. Everyone I have met because of this band has meant so much to me. I love you all.

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trying to process that 1D will never be 1D again. Ever.

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i'm experiencing so many emotions. i'm still in shock, i'm still waiting for someone to come out and say it's all a lie. i also feel bad, and i feel guilty because i lost hope in liam a while ago, i discussed his behavior with my friends and i pitied him... i never wrote anything online bc even for the worst people, i will never write a tweet wishing for them to kill themselves. but i still feel guilty bc i doubted he could get better.

then i think about 1d and how much they mean to me, how big of an impact they had in my life... they saved me. then i think about how all of liam's addictions and mental problems started while in the band. then i feel even more guilty.

i said to a friend "i don't know how the boys survived 1d", and now that statement is not true anymore. i wish he could have gotten better and dealt with all the damage he did to others.

i feel angry too... bc people will reduce everything to "he was good" or "he was bad", but it's way more complex than that. i once said people didn't want him to get better, it was way more entertaining for the outsiders to see him fall and break.

amidst all these mixed emotions is despair, i doubt people will learn from this, i know the press will have a feast, i know people will reduce liam to his death and his wrongdoings.

i know that a lot of people won't understand how we feel, they will even call us names for hurting at the news... but i know there are some of us who just get it, because we feel it.

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:(