pinguinwords

[pinguinwords]

Special

I need to get a question out of my head before I really get in to this. Because you say one thing, you make me feel another, so which one should I go with? Am I honestly something special to you? Am I honestly something new...something you want to take advantage of while you have it. No one has ever made me feel so...ordinary like you make me feel. I'm not sure I like how ordinary is making me feel... If I leave, I know you'll miss me...but will I be as replaceable or as forgettable as you're making me feel? I don't want to get in to this relationship with how you're making me feel...so far to me YOU'RE the ordinary, the normal, the not so special one...at least from what I've seen. So why should I be the one feeling this way? I shouldn't be right? I said I wouldn't get in to something I wasn't enjoying, yet here I am because you make me enjoy 2/3 of it...but my favorite part of a relationship, you make me feel like honestly nothing. So should I stay? Are we better of friends? So far, if you ask me, I'm settling. I'm scared I'll end up settling for you.

[pinguinwords]

Jugando con Fuego?

Hasta que punto es jugarsela mucho, y aceptar que no te van a dar lo que buscas devuelta? En que momento se choca contra el limite que te indica que no deberias seguir jugandotela tu, si no que debes dejar que el empiece a moverse tanto como tu. 

Pero cuando tienes tantas ganas por dentro, de darle todo lo que sabes que le gusta, de entregarle todo lo que sabes que el quiere...como se controla eso? Como se miden esos sentimientos y se dividen en pequeñeses durante el tiempo para que no parezcas una bomba de cariño donde quizas despues te sientas cenizas. 

Hasta que punto puedes convencerte llegar, para no ser decepcionada después. El miedo de no saber si se las jugará por ti te mantiene tratando tu de mover todo para que no se muera. Tu valor personal sabe que deberias llegar hasta cierta cantidad de cariño y palabras y movidas...por que hasta tu misma sabes que por cualquier otro estarías haciendo la mitad de lo que haces por el, especialmente pensando en la mitad de lo que piensas en el. 

Y por que EL!! te vuelve loca, pero sabes que el de al lado casi que se las esta jugando lo mismo...solo que al otro no lo pescas ni en bajada. Pero aparece el, y ahi estas todo el dia imaginandote cosas que hacer, lugares donde invitarlo, palabras para decirle que quizas terminen agotandolo antes de enamorandolo...y no debería ser al revez?

Surge la duda, de si es al revez. Pensará tanto en ti como tu en el? Le gustarás tanto a el como el a ti? Tendra los mismos miedos que tu de perderlo o de que se aburra, o de que si no te la juegas...no le gustaras? 

Lo estoy recien conociendo, pero mi mundo se a vuelto algo que da vueltas al rededor de el y no se si es algo bueno o malo...solo se que hace mucho que no me sentía así y todo lo que sabia sobre como tratar a los hombres...se fue volando por la ventana por la cual entró el. 

Digo en voz alta que disfrutaré esto por cuanto dure...pero la verdad es que quiero que dure muchisimo de tiempo. Quiero conocerlo entero. Sus miedos, sus gustos, el nombre de su primer amor y el apellido de sus abuelos. Cuantas mascotas ha tenido? Donde le gusta comprar ropa? Será como yo para amar, o será como los otros que terminan siendo menos de lo que merezco. Espero que no. Espero que lo sea todo, por que por ahora me encanta y no me gustaria perder esa sensacion. 

[pinguinwords]

Ele jota Santiago! #NosFuimos #amigos #caleu #findesemana #huevitos (at Carretera 5 Norte)

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Locuras de ayer #sabado #carrete #comida #discotec #amigos #locuras

[pinguinwords]

Sonrisas pepsodent 😁 #smile #piñata #fotogenica

[pinguinwords]

Today I turned 22, and all I could wish for in my candles was that I would be surrounded by this many people that love me the next year too. I’m in a great place, surrounded by amazing people that I can tell love me. I thank every day for them, because without them, this year full of changes and unexpected things would be impossible to make it through. I know God sent them to me for a purpose, and I can’t thank him enough for it, and trust once more that he knows better than me what he is doing. So thank you, thank you everyone that came, thank you everyone that is coming, and thank you everyone that thought of me today and spent the time to call me, send a message and a hug. You make me, the incredibly happy person I am today. 

[pinguinwords]

I'm feeling 22... 🎶🎈#birthday #family #cousins #aunt #uncle #grandparents #mom #happy #22 #torta #cheesecake #cake #donuts #candles (at San Carlos de Apoquindo)

[pinguinwords]

Cumpleaños feliz 🎶🎂🎈 #cumpleaños #22 #torta #amigas #feliz #birthday #happy (at Pastelería Francesa Délices D'alsace)

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Wonderfull book!! Looks to be a great movie too! Tim Burton never fails, I’m so glad it was HIM who took in the proyect, it’s so him!!

Watch the first trailer for Tim Burton’s Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children, starring Asa Butterfield, Ella Purnell, Eva Green, Judi Dench, Allison Janney, Chris O’Dowd, Rupert Everett, Terence Stamp, and Samuel L. Jackson, out in U.S. theaters on September 30th.

[pinguinwords]

Anyones dream <3 

Peace Corps Armenia Volunteer Zakar was sitting on a marshrutka (minibus) when this man heard him speaking Armenian and struck up a conversation. When the man found out that Zakar likes history, he showed him this book–full of his life story–his family, his battles, his relationships, his memories. A magical moment of culture sharing and learning. http://bit.ly/1XojlXv

[pinguinwords]

I Beg of You

She’s putting up fences, whole walls, armies and even a moat around herself since you told her you were leaving, and I get it. You don’t understand her, and that makes you sad, it makes you feel - abandoned before you’ve even left. And you say “give her a break right? but what about me? what about my break, my feelings?” and you’re right! what ABOUT your feelings. 

let’s talk about your feelings. 

You throw them around like small little water balloons. At whoever seems to be listening dry enough and close enough to feel them. You throw little snarky comments out in the open hoping someone will react so that it doesn’t just end up sounding mean, or complainy, or stupid. 

It works tho! you get it out...right? If no one reacts, because everyone understand that you just have so much hate inside you can’t help but throw it out there since it’s overflowing, does it count as venting? does it count as, getting it out? does it even count as feeling better? does it make you feel better? I honest to god hope it does, because I’m getting a little tired of having little tiny cracks in my heart after hearing every comment you throw at the world and taking it in, hoping you’ll just talk to me, sit someone down. Please. 

I know life is throwing you a lot of shit right now, and it’s fair to feel helpless and lost. But you’re not the only one hurt. We all want to help. You need to accept the fact that maybe this time, you can’t do it alone. Talk. Please. 

Your random shit-throwing is not helping nor getting you or anyone else anywhere. So stop, it makes you look ugly. 

[pinguinwords]

Who’s Your Reader?

They say, and I just learned this, that as a writer your story is meant for just one reader. So who is your reader? who do you think about when you open up your computer (unless you’re the lucky few who still use a typewriter) and start typing. That person you know won’t read your things, but still write for thinking they actually might be reading it...they just will never tell you. 

Dad, ex boyfriend, friend, dog, bunny or sibling. Maybe your grandmother was a writer, and she’s now gone. In heaven they read too I’m sure. 

So who do you write for? Why did you pick them...do they make you a writer or a blogger or just someone who needs somewhere to vent? maybe all three? Do they inspire you, to be the best you can be, even if that isn’t writting (hey dad), even if deep down, they know just like you, it’s their secret passion too. 

And if you’re lucky enough to have a reader, who actually reads your things and comments...is it what you’re looking for? Do they make you better? I hope they do. I hope they make you the best writer and person you could be. You deserve that. 

[pinguinwords]

3 months

supposedly the time enough to get over someone...right? Time enough to convince yourself “yup, I’m done and through with this guy.” right? 

what if, there are so many things in your life going on right now, that the only person you want to hold you is that person you pushed away three months ago thinking you didnt want them to be there when it all happened. So now that it’s all happening, and I cant find anyone who understands quite where i’m standing. I miss you. And it’s unfair. because when I wanted you, and I needed you, you weren’t there, so who’s to say you would of been there now? now that it IS happening? The big question here is was I wrong or was I right by pushing you away? when all I’m looking for is the comfort your arms gave me when you hugged me that last time, is it wrong for me to look for you? 

Im not looking to get back with you, so is it selfish of me to want just a crying session with you?

[pinguinwords]

Wow

“Stop being cute.”

She nuzzled his neck, trailing her nose along the stubbly curve of his cheek. Then she pulled back and smiled up at him, tucking her chin and widening her eyes. Cute.

“Stop being cute!”

“But when I’m cute you get me things.”

“What do you want?”

“More coffee.”

Then she grinned, all goofy eyes and bottom teeth, definitely not cute. He laughed and lifted her legs up and off him, heading to the kitchen.

She moved into the warm spot he left on the couch, flopping around like a stroppy teenager. She felt like a stroppy teenager most of the time. She was always sighing and rolling her eyes and whining and flopping. She wondered when she would stop feeling like a teenager.

She was restless. It was raining, it was always raining. The grey sky was relieving and oppressive. Oppressive because it made her feel trapped inside, relieving because she knew she didn’t really want to leave the house anyway. She just wanted to want to leave the house.

He was talking to her from the kitchen. Chatting. She was not listening. She could feel herself getting crankier by the second. Irritation began as an itchy feeling around her ankles. Then she was hot and then too cold and then she couldn’t stop chewing the dry skin off of her bottom lip. He was still chatting away in the kitchen, brewing coffee and recapping some Conan interview, blind to her deteriorating mood. He was like a lone kayaker adrift in a still lake, oblivious to the small uptick in the wind, the sudden drop in temperature, the rolling clouds.

He never saw the warning signs. Then, neither did she. It just happened. One moment she was fine, and then the fine ballooned into a kind of fine plus. Then that became sort of not fine, sort of too fine. She felt like a match that was about to go out, that moment right before it burns your fingers: bright, bright, too bright, gone.

She rose from the couch and slunk over to the kitchen, opening and closing the fridge, raking her hands up and into her messy bun. He was quiet now. Maybe he read her better than she thought. The whole room felt deflated, worse somehow, it felt like all the air had been sucked out, like the walls, the fridge, the floor and him were all flattening out around her. He said something else she didn’t listen to. She closed her eyes and leaned her head against the fridge, trying to count to ten, trying to self- regulate. But it was like bottling up a storm, she did not know how to be anything else than this. She didn’t know how to be better.

[pinguinwords]

Helping you, protect yourself

Ever loved someone so much, and honestly cared about somebody so much, the day you broke their hearts...you did everything so they were ok even though they made it imposible for you? So even tho, you asked them for space they closed in. You asked them for some time, they tried talking to you through every source possible. You asked them not to kiss you, and they closed in and pecked you on the side of your lips saying "that doesnt count as a kiss" And with tears in your eyes, you managed to speak out a sime "why?" Why? If I'm telling you it hurts me you do it anyways. Why? If you see my tears fall as you get close and i try to push you away, you still plant a manipulative kiss on my trembling lips? Yes I want your kiss, of course i miss you! But I'm here working every hour of the day to get over you, to get you off my skin, off my lips, off my hands, off my mind... So why? If I confess all this to you, do you still have the capacity to look me in the eyes and tell me, "I want to do it, so I will." Ok. So here I am, working on getting over you, and trying to make it as easy for you as I can. Who's protecting me? What about my feelings? And my proteccion? And my need for you to step out of the way too so I can have a chance at moving on. Is this going to stop only once YOU want it to? Once you find someone else to distract you? Is that when you'll give me the chance to finally get you off my mind?

[pinguinwords]

Liga San Pedro! #futbol #futbolito #mujeres #liga #domingo #copa #segundas #lapeleamos

[pinguinwords]

Noche de descarga 🙈🙉🙊 #sabado #fogata #asado #cumpleaños (at San Carlos de Apoquindo)