pilotabjones-blog

[pilotabjones-blog]

april 23, 2019 9:38am i used to wake up every single morning when i was a junior in high school by listening to wake up by fetty wap. i'm not sure why but i just know it made me feel a way that i really liked. i used to smoke a looooot of weed back then so that song was always just the best way to get my day started. i used to feel like i HAD to smoke before leaving my house. i don't even smoke at my house anymore that's fucking sketch. but 16 year old me didn't give a fuck. well today my morning is not starting in the ways they did back then. if it was, it'd be 6:00am not 9:30am. i'd be blonde with a fat tan and definitely not even awake yet. i used to love to wait until i absolutely had to get up. i never woke makeup back then so it made it pretty easy. i got up at around 6:30 finally and put on whatever loose clothing i had, brushed my teeth & hair, took some rips & then left my house with probably 2 minutes before the bell rang. i had a zero period which was p.e that started at 6:59am. i almost never got there before 7:10. it was a bad habit but i was lit and it was 6am so cut me some slack. i never actually stayed the entire class either. i had two friends in that class (we'll call them S & G). S & i had never actually been friends before this class. i knew who she was but never had a conversation with her. i had no clue g even existed until this class. but we got so close so fast. we would always sneak out through the back door of the gym go to our little spot behind the tennis courts and just smoke together until first period. i look back on it and i was sooo reckless and should've probably gone to class. but i passed with a lovely B- and i got two cool ass friends. this was my morning routine every day of my first semester as a junior. but today isn't like then. i'm not 16 anymore without a license just smoking with my friends skipping class because it was free school. no today i'm 19 working later today at 1:30 until 6:30 at my job that i don't love nor hate. i'm not going to class because i don't want to pay for classes i hate. when back then i skipped the ones i liked that were free. i think with my morning i'm going to clean my room and house while my phone charges because i forgot to plug in to the charger last night. then afterwards i might go to the gym because i have been super duper lazy. after the gym i'll come home get ready & leave to whole foods for my lunch & then take some bongrips then go spend 5 hours at my job probably hating my life. lol. i think i have to enjoy days like today where i get to do what i like because maybe two years from now i'll be here writing a post about a different song i used to play every morning like this one. i'll talk about how life was now and how i miss it. that's the problem. you always miss life because of how it used to be or who was in your life then. but we shouldn't. in the office where andy bernard says "the weird thing is now i'm exactly where i want to be. i've got my dream job at cornell, and i'm still just thinking about my old pals. only now they're the ones i made here. i wish there was a way to know you're in "the good old days", before you've actually left them." (season 9, episode 23). just a thought to start the day. i'm going to try to make it a good one. my favorite quote for that is pitbull "but everyday above ground is a great day". pitbull a lyrical god. not really i just think a lot about that one. lol. okay i really have to just get up and do something. p.j

[pilotabjones-blog]

april 22, 2019 11:52pm i have a lot of energy for some reason tonight and haven't fell asleep. i also chugged a yerba mate so that can be it? i just wish i had my own apartment sometimes. i love not paying rent and living with my parents but nights like tonight make me wish i had my own place so i can play blonde as loud as i could with all my purple/pink lights on while taking some bongrips enjoying the feelings. but i'm 19 and quit 2/3 of my jobs trying to go back to college so i'll settle to blonde playing as loud as my airpods allow while chugging yerba mate taking dab pen rips in my pretty cool room. but right now i'm feeling super uninspired so i'm going to go try to get high and listen to some more frank ocean to see how i feel. i think what i'm going to do is make litle "music checks" so i'll post what i'm listening to and while i listen to it i'll check in with how i'm feeling or what i think. i feel like different music makes me feel different ways so this might be a cool way for you to truly understand my thoughts. some behind the scenes shit. idk. brb. april 23, 2019 12:20am i came back and now i think this entire fucking idea is so stupid ahahahaha. i'm also fucking lit so hopefully my dumbass doesn't just delete everything. i also keep trying to put the volume up on my computer for my music that's playing from my phone.. i'm real dumb. what to talk about.. what to talk about. i'm listening to "futura free" now and let me tell you this song is fucking underrated. it's such a good song. if you take anything from me please get high and just lay in bed with earphones in and listen to futura free. it will make you some fucking type of way. i just wish that we were more advanced in technology. like i wish i could capture how i feel and post that. like just grasp my moment. i'm at the part where he says "i'ma stick around i'm gon' let my nuts hand you got some just like me don't you..." and it's just great idk. i can't EXPLAIN IT. i feel like now that i'm doing this blog thing it's going to be sooo hard for me to talk to people. i don't text anyone or snapchat already as it is. i sometimes do when i get super duper bored or when people snapchat me but besides that i don't talk to anyone if i don't have to. i just get so bored of people and what they have to say and a blog is perfect because i get to control everything i talk about! we love that. i also love that my friends don't need constant contact with me. i see them when i do and it's the best. i hate when having someone in my life feels like a chore. i hate feeling like i have to fit someone in my schedule. i love when shit happens naturally. right now my friends just are great. i work and do my shit and life is easy speasy lemon squeezy. i just wish this could be my life forever. 12:58am i'm starting to hit that tired delusional stage of the night and i'm really really ready for bed. i probably will stay up but i'm down with computer screen time. have a good night to whoever is reading this. if you are. idk. if not good night to me! c ya! p.j

[pilotabjones-blog]

[pilotabjones-blog]

sugar and spice and everything nice is what girls are made of

april 22, 2019

sugar, spice and it’s all nice.

at nineteen i haven’t quite figured out who i am. i don’t think i’ve experienced enough to even have a clue as in to what i’m doing or why i’m doing it. but i will say a few things about me that i know right now. i know that i’ve been sitting here typing this intro for the last 20 minutes erasing every thing i start. that’s one. i’m awful at starting anything. especially new things. i like comfort. that’s two. so i decided as of today that i want to type how i feel, what i do, and most importantly what i think. i realize as the days go by that i was born in the time where you can post all about your feelings even though no one gives a damn so that in a few maybe 3 years or even 60 years from now someone can stumble across this and read all about what went on in your mind without you even knowing it. i think that’s fucking incredible. i have no filter so if you are here reading this just know what i say is real but it’s also my life. i might change people’s names for privacy reasons and i also won’t say my real name but if you’re here chances are you know it already. all bullshit aside i think this is how i’ll start. no real start just converations.

p.j