piacemia

[piacemia]

my thoughts are trying to kill me

they have knives and switchblades and wait in the corners for me to wave goodbye to friends

in my moment alone, they take knotches out

again and again and again

and retreat

never dealing the final stroke

waiting more

[piacemia]

it's not that serious!!!!!!! think about if you were a character in a book

goals for break!

keep the basil alive

finish some more landscaping

go to irvine? LA? drive home??

valley thrift

jump in the ocean!

read more more more!

bake at least one more thing

[piacemia]

Gustav Klimt, Forrest House in Weissenbach, 1912

[piacemia]

i lost my phone TWICE today

running around the school, i left it in the 1st grade printer room and then downstairs from my house. not terrible losses, but the downstairs one absolutely got me good. thanks to m.d always

[piacemia]

they tried to cancel the street bomb night

with cones and lights and crowds of uniforms to ward of the riff raff "no speed, no wheels, no free fall" they said "we watch these street and they will be safe" they came with jeans and shoes torn to shreds for shredding's the goal and lights and cops and cones did all their goal except when you dream of flying and you've already got artemis' wings why would something as simple as ground stand in your way?

[piacemia]

a letter to you, of many.

i always think it will be my last

every time you come back to this place, i risk something. another broken heart, being the one who is in pain, having my peaceful life interrupted. i am not innocent. i know much of it is from a place of care (actually i really don't know that - and that makes me raging mad). in fact, a lot of this makes me raging mad. a friend asked why i don't just block you and it really feels like the right thing to do now.

i deserve peace. i am not interested in any more. i am so grateful for my big full life and it does not have room for this any more. addendum on 8/3:: and then i find out you're MARRIED and did this either right before, during, or right afterwards. that also makes me so very mad. that is all

[piacemia]

and if they try to slow you down, tell them all

to go to hell

why why, why?

[piacemia]

I know you're scared Well, I'm scared too Oh, that every time I try to make lunch For anyone else, in my head I end up dreaming of you And you come to me Good morning Show me the place where he inserted the blade

[piacemia]

melatonin v magnesium

i've been feeling very anxious about the return to work but i also feel like i have any reason to be anxious logically. decided to try melatonin and it was NOT the reccomended item to try, i was supposed to have some magnesium. so, needless to say i just had a nice 3 hour nap and really hope it didn't mess up my sleep schedule

[piacemia]

ohhhhhhh an addendum to my summer bucket list

HI EVERYONE, I'M NOT INTERESTED IN THIS PART OF BEING 30 THANK YOU!

had a health scare and got to experience the ER as an adult during the day i had asked my people to hang out with me and play board games, so this was a tragedy. experienced a strange change, called the nurse, they told to go straight to the ER and then spent 5 hours there hanging out. experienced an mri and anti anxiety meds and then was let out at midnight so k could take me home

AND BEFORE ALL THIS (genuinely like an hour before) i left to get sequence and my car which was fresh off the dealership spewed all the new oil out. so i do not have a car.

i am safe and cared for though. i am very brave. i am very grateful

[piacemia]

fashion wish list summer: 2024

yes absolutely i've been window shopping. yes absolutely i started with an entire bag at cos, but then whittled it down AND THEN went on poshmark and found secondhand versions of it all, which is a dream

already purchased (via thrift shop! and poshmark!)

denim shift dress

white shift dress

striped long sleeve (replacing an old one!)

navy work pant, black work pant, red + navy work pant

bathing suit

JEANS!!!!!

would like to purchase

red top

linen button up

denim vest

MAYBE green linen button up (we shall see how it goes with the white one)

one more bathing suit? ._.

wetsuit

fashion is fun, i'm really leaning into my own style now which is absolutely 90's kindergarten teacher and i love it

[piacemia]

Here comes summer, Steinberg (@steinbergdrawscartoons)

[piacemia]

july / end of vacation plans

a bucket list!

find a storage solution for the kitchen / go through and reorganize. - thinking corner shelves for the cookbooks, maybe getting two more boxes for snacks, cleaning out the cabinets, and MAYBE looking into replacing the bookshelf and getting an armoire or whatever it's called over there. we have such a hodgepodge of furniture which makes me a little crazy but also things don't have to be perfect! will start research small kitchen storage solutions

find secondhand levi's - will potentially go to goodwill in SD tomorrow so I can drop off the books I have and then take a peek to see what the stock is over there. I COULD go to my favorite valley thrift but it's so far away from everything else in the world, we shall see.

GO TO THE BEACH! LIKE AT LEAST 3 TIMES BEFORE I HAVE TO START WORK (self explanatory, but also goes hand in hand with finding a new bathing suit because I'm really really not confident in my body right now)

yard work of course, my nemesis but not really.

would love to create a print of a beautiful quote, that's been a goal for a while now but it's a whole process for that

finally fix / sew a little more! found the sewing needles that i've been looking for, for a year!

[piacemia]

vacation in sd plan: 07/8

the plan for today: quick drive to OC to get picky bits

ideally:

bagel shack

goodwill of OC for work pants / levi jeans

four seas for fantuan / more taiwanese breakfast

wanderlust for lilikoi ice cream

junbi for matcha

reality:

woke up late, yes i've actually finally kicked jetlag after one full week home although the sleep isn't quite at regular work levels, which is fine! its vacation!

straight to bagel shack with my cold water and supplies, made it in great time and had the best avocado tomato LEMON PEPPER bagel, incredible spot i'd never heard of before. best part, goodwill was across the street. the goodwills have gotten so overpriced, and yet here i am still going to them. ended up getting all the work pants I could ever need, and a cute dress which I have been so lucky with finding every time I thrift. Also sweat pants for the first time in my life. still on the shopping list are men's levis and as always any cute blouses.

from there to wanderlust where they didn't have the lilikoi ice ream and said they'd get more tomorrow, so tragic but also no big deal haha. decided i wasn't hungry enough to grab taiwanese food which ALWAYS happens, so to junbi which was incredible and is now firmly in my favorite boba spots in irvine (for those wondering: 7 leaves, TP Tea, Junbi).

decided that was enough for today and made it home to catch the very very beginning of traffic, really only added 10 minutes. a nice little outing!

[piacemia]

the horrors of being in your 30s

are we just going to discover a new health / body oddity that sends you into a tailspin? is that the downside of this age???? i've heard nothing but glowing reviews so this has been a NEW DEVELOPMENT. thank goodness for those who have come before me and recorded their fears and solutions on the internet. i have done many other things in june but more on that in our next episode byeee

[piacemia]

march by Alex Dimitrov