phoenixharp-05

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the voice in my head considering wanting a partner is my mother speaking and i need to shoot it dead

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dying trying to recall the title of thid webnovel. i dont even necessarily wanna read it, i just recalled it exists and now its bothering me

anyway i believe it was a (japanese?) story, modern/school where a boy is scared shitless of the "love sickness" (or obsessive syndrome, obsessive sickness, something like that) which turns people into yanderes. the only really significant plot i remember is possibly...something about a bridge? and that he had a bet with his yandere "girlfriend" where he would try to hide from her for a year or so and she would try to find him, but he lost at the very end of the time limit, then got tasered and kidnapped

edit: I FUCKING FOUND IT. its called love dependency disease

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A knight and his liege who gas each other up to the point that it's nauseating for bystanders.

"I am your blade, my prince."

"And what a blade you are! Sharp, sturdy, reliable–"

"As ever, I am only as my liege wills me."

"–undefeated in combat–"

"Honorable combat fought in your good name."

"–and there's a certain glow about you when properly maintained." Kicking his feet. "What's your secret?"

"Total unyielding loyalty to the sun made manifest on earth."

"Oh, you! They must teach poetry in knight school."

"Any poetry born from my unworthy lips is but the flutter of the wings of my soul in its tireless search for your regard."

"Search no further! You and your bewinged soul have only the highest of my regard."

I mean, it clears taverns.

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this is why scum villain is level 4 yaoi

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Art dump!

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WAIT WAIT WAIT in cumplane’s endless PVP style friendship there is absolutely a moment when Shen Qingqiu plays a “new composition” on his guqin and Shang Qinghua reaches a level of fury that no one could have possibly expected from him and all of the Peak Lords/gathered disciples are actually pretty upset with him because Shen Qingqiu was clearly very proud of this new song and how dare he react like that.

Meanwhile Shang Qinghua just got Rick Rolled for the first time in decades and suddenly understands how Cucumber Bro got so angry he fucking died.

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Part of me wants to make an AU where Shen Yuan never breaks the OOC lock, or at least breaks it WAY later. I want to see the shenanigans and loopholes he pulls on the system to get his way. He's a clever guy who can strategize and argue like he will die on ANY and EVERY hill, and he DID manage to twist things his way before the lock was lifted. I want to see how far he could GO.

Shen Qingqiu: Obviously the scum villain, upon finding out the little beast is an excellent cook, would keep those skills for himself. He wouldn't share or allow another peak lord or disciple to benefit from it! System: USER, LETTING THE PROTAGONIST COOK FOR YOU IS OOC!! (￣_￣|||)

Shen Qingqiu: LET HIM? Let him your MOTHER! No, I'm MAKING him. He has to, it's part of his chores. He has to get up extra early to cook for me, and it takes up more of his time. Everyone else gets the Qingjing peak's quality meals, Binghe will have to subsist on whatever extras he can after cooking for this master. Plus if he does badly I have more excuse to punish him! Now shut up, Binghe's making Twice Cooked Pork and I have to watch him do it to make sure he doesn't poison anything. And not because he likes watching Binghe.

Additionally

system: USER WHAT ARE YOU DOING? Σ(っ °Д °;)っ

Shen Qingqiu, patting Binghe's head: What does it look like I'm doing, you bastard. I'm hitting him. System: ... Shen Qingqiu: I can't do it too hard, of course! I can't risk leaving marks where people might see them. I'm just being forward thinking!! AND ALSO Shen Qingqiu, to himself: FUCK how do I help Liu Qingge without being out of character-

System: NO WORRIES, USER!! ASSISTING THE BAI ZHAN PEAK LORD WITH HIS QI DEVIATION IS NOT OOC! o(*￣▽￣*)o

Shen Qingqiu: fucking WHAT?!?

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Adding that the recent character movie for X starts with the time on his watch turning 10 o clock

ok i know the show hasn't even come out yet, but god my expectations are so high just from the symbolism/wordplay(?). Like, the #1 hero being called 'X' while the other apparent focus of the show is the #10 hero (in roman numerals, "X"). Plus "x" meaning a variable in math which can be replaced by any number--one of the trailers literally had the line "everyone can be a hero, everyone can be him" like, come on. I'm half expecting part of the plot to involve some guy with identity theft powers because if powers are solely based on the faith of people in an image of a person and not inherent to the person themself, then wouldn't it make so much more sense to steal someone's identity rather than work to become a top hero yourself?

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Ok but what if Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu were the same person.

Little YQY is used to little baby SJ being a little strange. He talks about missing 'the internet' and one night when they almost freeze to death he solemnly informs YQY that "this transmigration experience sucks, 0/10 would not recommend."

As they grow SJ stops talking about odd things, but since he never explained about his past life to YQY he doesn't realize SJ is forcing himself to forget those memories of being warm and safe and happy because they hurt too much now when he is none of those.

The System is still there if course but since LBH isn't even born yet it's in low power mode. But that night locked in Qiu Manor after YQY leaves it pops up with a notification he's finished the 'Sorrowful Parting' quest and he loses it.

He alternates between insisting it doesn't exist and demanding to know why it only shows up when something bad happens to him. The System explains this is all necessary character development before he meets the main character.

SJ rages, not because he's not the main character but because he apparently needs to suffer for them, this person he's never met. Eventually the System turns off all notifications except essential ones, and that at least leaves SJ mostly alone in his own head.

And he takes that buried ache of his past memories and that he was apparently born to suffer and uses them to save himself when YQY fails him. Even though he promised. And he's fine- look, he's a Peak Lord! He's fine.

Until LBH turns up at the peaks, the System lights up for the first time in a decade, and SJ looks at this little boy and hates him. SJ can't see him without thinking about all the hurt he suffered, which the System insists was necessary for this boy's story.

So he does all those horrible things to LBH that he railed about as SY a lifetime ago and doesn't regret it. (PIDW is mostly lost to him, buried under the trauma, he doesn't know who LBH is, or who he is)

Until the qi deviation, which wipes all his memories except the ones he has buried. So he feels like he's a different person. He thinks he's transmigrated in late because he can't remember being 5 and teaching YQY carmeldansen.

A week after the deviation YQY hears SJ mutter something about Google and he relaxes, he does recognize this SJ after all.

Meng Mo pulls the memories out of SY's head after all. For all that SY draws the line between himself and SJ as different people he still remembers SJ's memories. But crucially not the ones from when he was little where his past and current lives overlap the most.

Sometime after the series ends SQQ is humming something modern- my heart says 'Never Gonna Give You Up'- and YQY casually mentioned he's always liked that one most of SJ's songs.

SQQ: What songs?

YQY: The ones only you know. You used to sing them all the time when you were little.

SQQ's head is spinning and he finds some privacy and questions the System which confirms he did in fact transmigrate as a baby like SQH did.

The memories come back slowly after that. He remembers telling LQQ he'll kill him after a bad fight, street kid him trying to explain to YQY what a T-Rex is... exactly what was going through his head when he dumped a cup of hot tea on an orphan he'd just met.

And SY has to deal with the fact that yes actually, that was him. That wasn't some other asshole. It's him, he's the asshole. Maybe that was the worst possible version of himself, maybe he got a second chance and changed for the better - but it was still him, and he's still capable of being that man again if he isn't careful.

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I'm this fucking crossover-universes fan so let me tell you, have you seen Mairimashita Iruma-kun, where Iruma is this boy who is sold by his parents to the demon king and the demon king just adopts him as his beloved grandson, spoils and pampers him and this child has the craziest and funniest adventures?

Well, so, this SVSSS AU where Shen Yuan is "adopted" (kidnapped, rather) by Tianlang-jun because ah, his own son hates him so much and now he's the new Emperor and has this huge harem and no time for his elderly father, and so, Tianlang-jun found Shen Yuan's compatibility with this world strange, so just, yes, he keeps him as his forcibly adopted son/grandson to spoil and feed him with his blood to complete random rituals and turn that scrawny kid into at least a half-blood heavenly demon

Shen Yuan doesn't object so much, huh

Having borrowed OP powers isn't the worst thing that could happen to him, PIDW's flora and fauna are there to be explored, he has the protection of a heavenly demon after all, what's the worst that could happen?

(Luo Binghe looking for his Shizun, of course)

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Scum Villain AU where Shen Yuan and Shen Jiu transmigrate by swapping lives (i.e. Shen Yuan wakes up in Shen Qingqiu's body on Qing Jing Peak, post-fever, while Shen Jiu wakes up in Shen Yuan's body in a hospital in modern China) but it doesn't quite work right.

The system glitches or something and they end up having to jointly time share their lives. Every time a certain moon phase or something (cyclical) comes around they abruptly switch back.

So they spend the entire time trying to undo everything the other one has been up to while everyone around them is just desperately attempting to figure out wtf is going on. Shen Yuan does the skinner quest and stops Luo Binghe's abuse, and Shen Jiu gets a job with a rival company and starts showing up Shen Yuan's brothers. Then they switch back and Shen Jiu is like "it's woodshed o'clock for the beast" and Shen Yuan resigns. Then they switch back again and Shen Yuan saves Liu Qingge's life and gets poisoned defending Luo Binghe, and Shen Jiu creates his own start-up and blackmails his eldest brother about the mistress he's just uncovered. Then they switch back and Shen Yuan gets his brother and his sister-in-law into couples counseling and Shen Jiu embarks on a quest to either cure himself without Liu Qingge's help or die trying.

Eventually they just start leaving bitchy messages for one another to find and doing things that won't cause lasting damage but are incredibly petty. Shen Yuan keeps trying to tell Shen Jiu to read PIDW but Shen Jiu takes one look at his merch-filled bachelor pad and immediately decides that his opinions aren't worth anything, so it takes him a while to actually do it (he is really mad about this when he finally opens the novel and it turns out to be extremely relevant information).

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"The original Bingge bringing his own Shen Yuan to the PIDW world" is such a god tier concept because we know Luo Bingge is a dead beat dad with a million kids all from different mothers. Imagine being Binghe's son via concubine #84 lactation kink chapter and the emperor, your father, divorces your mom because he fell in love with an alien twink.

Then you go to chew him out for being an absent father who gets sex pollened all day instead of teaching his kids algebra, and you find his new boytoy with him. And your shitty terrible dad's new wife. Is an angel.

Of COURSE when Shen Yuan sees a mini-Binghe, he'd coddle the boy endlessly while Binghe seethes in the back, beefing with his own son over shizun's attention. Shen Yuan's headpats. Him happily teaching Binghe's kids. Letting them all pile up around him while he reads from a story book.

It's the evil stepmother trope but in reverse - everyone who meets Shen Yuan is crying, "You have to leave my father, you deserve better!!!"

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how to find literally any post on a blog in seconds (on desktop)

there are so many posts about ~tumblr is so broken, you can’t find any post on your own blog, it’s impossible, bluhrblub~

I am here to tell you otherwise! it is in fact INCREDIBLY easy to find a post on a blog if you’re on desktop/browser and you know what you’re doing:

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant. every single post, every single time. in chronological order starting with the most recent post. note: it will not find #croissants or that time you made the typo #croidnssants. for a tag with multiple words, it’s just /tagged/my-croissant and it will show you everything with the exact phrase #my croissant

url.tumblr.com/tagged/croissant/chrono will bring up EVERY post on the blog tagged with the exact phrase #croissant, but it will show them in reverse order with the oldest first 

url.tumblr.com/search/croissant isn’t as perfect at finding everything, but it’s generally loads better than the search on mobile. it will find a good array of posts that have the word croissant in them somewhere. could be in the body of the post (op captioned it “look at my croissant”) or in the tags (#man I want a croissant). it won’t necessarily find EVERYTHING like /tagged/ does, but I find it’s still more reliable than search on mobile. you can sometimes even find posts by a specific user by searching their url. also, unlike whatever random assortment tumblr mobile pulls up, it will still show them in a more logically chronological order

url.tumblr.com/day/2020/11/05 will show you every post on the blog from november 5th, 2020, in case you’re taking a break from croissants to look for destiel election memes 

url.tumblr.com/archive/ is search paradise. easily go to a particular month and see all posts as thumbnails! search by post type! search by tags but as thumbnails now

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio will show you every audio post on your blog (you can also filter by other post types). sometimes a little imperfect if you’re looking for a video when the op embedded the video in a text post instead of posting as a video post, etc

url.tumblr.com/archive/tagged/croissant will show you EVERY post on the blog tagged with the specific and exact phrase #croissant, but it will show you them in the archive thumbnail view divided by months. very useful if you’re looking for a specific picture of a croissant that was reblogged 6 months ago and want to be able to scan for it quickly 

url.tumblr.com/archive/filter-by/audio/tagged/croissant will show you every audio post tagged with the specific phrase #croissant (you can also filter by photo or text instead, because I don’t know why you have audio posts tagged croissant) 

the tag system on desktop tumblr is GENUINELY amazing for searching within a specific blog! 

caveat: this assumes a person HAS a desktop theme (or “custom theme”) enabled. a “custom theme” is url.tumblr.com, as opposed to tumblr.com/url. I’ve heard you have to opt-into the former now, when it used to be the default, so not everyone HAS a custom theme where you can use all those neat url tricks. 

if the person doesn’t have a “custom theme” enabled, you’re beholden to the search bar. still, I’ve found the search bar on tumblr.com/url is WAY more reliable than search on mobile. for starters, it tends to bring posts up in a sensible order, instead of dredging up random posts from 2013 before anything else

if you’re on mobile, I’m sorry. godspeed and good luck finding anything. (my one tip is that if you’re able to click ON a tag rather than go through the search bar, you’ll have better luck. if your mutual has recently reblogged a post tagged #croissant, you can click #croissant and it’ll bring up everything tagged #croissant just like /tagged/croissant. but if there’s no readily available tag to click on, you have to rely on the mobile search bar and its weird bizarre whims) 

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ah yes, the two genders:

man and bath

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BAI MO PEGGING CONFIRMED???

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i think i found it on ao3 but it got cancelled 😭😭

did anyone else read this powerpuff girl's fic on fanfic.net which was like. really REALLY long, highschool, ppg/rrb, at some point the girls came to live at the boys' place (not with the monkey), and blossom was being possessed or used or something by HIM (i literally only remember that there was some stuff about her neck being funky or bleeding, and that she for some reason went to some warehouse in the middle of nowhere). this fic was written at least prior to 2019, probably even further before then and I can't find it anymore and don't remember what it was called because it was ages ago

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did anyone else read this powerpuff girl's fic on fanfic.net which was like. really REALLY long, highschool, ppg/rrb, at some point the girls came to live at the boys' place (not with the monkey), and blossom was being possessed or used or something by HIM (i literally only remember that there was some stuff about her neck being funky or bleeding, and that she for some reason went to some warehouse in the middle of nowhere). this fic was written at least prior to 2019, probably even further before then and I can't find it anymore and don't remember what it was called because it was ages ago