phoebe-lou

[phoebe-lou]

*Picks up phone*

Olga Foroga: Hello?

Caller: Do you like scary movies?

Olga Foroga: ...

Olga Foroga: Oh I see where you’re going with this. I’ve dealt with you crazy hooligans before. You kids think it’s funny to try and terrorise old ladies?! Well if I ever find out who you are imma whip your bitch-ass so hard, your mumma will be crying...

Caller: ... *Stu and Billy sobbing whilst rocking back and forth*

—————————————————————————————————

Diego: So in conclusion she was fine, really. Our petty threats didn’t effect her in the slightest...

Five:

Luther:

Diego:

Everyone else:

Luther: Can’t say the same about that Elliot guy though

[phoebe-lou]

Klaus: How can someone say Five is evil?? He's the most precious soft little soul.

Five, wiping blood off his face: YEAH I'M ADORABLE!

[phoebe-lou]

Love this 😍

hargreeves siblings + “do not stand at my grave and weep”

[phoebe-lou]

No one:

Literally no one:

Klaus: If you can’t dazzle them in brilliance, then baffle them with bullshit

Ben: Wow that’s deep...

Klaus: *Is shocked*

[phoebe-lou]

Brother Bonding . . .

Luther: Hey Five! What’s the best way to get revenge on someone?

Five: Well as we said at the Commission, revenge is a dish best served cold

Luther: Hmmm, I think I’ve got it

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Later

Diego: Mum is there any pudding?

Mum: Check the freezer darling

Diego: *Opens freezer*

Diego: Mum someone wrote ‘I hate you Diego’ in the icecream ...

Luther watching from afar: *Looks to Five, with his thumbs up*

Five: ...

[phoebe-lou]

I can imagine Klaus having his own blog 🤧🤧

Send me Emojis

🌹  I have a romantic crush on you

⭐️ I have a platonic crush on you

🌈  I’m gay for you

🤗  given the chance I would gladly hug you

💛 You are my best friend

💙 You are my closest friend

💚 You’re cute

🦄  you’re adorable

🎨  you’re artistically talented

💕  we have a lot in common

😑  you’re annoying

✖️  you’re mean

☄️ I wish we could talk

👽 you’re out of this world

🤙 you’re pretty cool

🔥 you’re hot

💋 I wanna make out with you

😊 Your blog makes me smile

😘 I’d date you

💍 I want to marry you

💓 I can’t stop thinking about you

💘 I love you so much 

🐶🐱 let’s get a dog/cat

👾 nerd

👻 I admire you from afar you probably don’t know I exist

🗑 You’re content is trash and i love you

😍 I aspire to be like you one day

🍀 I’m lucky to have met you

🤐 We don’t talk as much as we used to

🛫 You live far away and it sucks because I want to meet you

😩 I’m too shy to talk to you but I really love your blog

😇 You’re a sweet cinnamon bun

💎 Your blog is pretty

🐒 You’re funny

🎄 Wish to hang out over the holidays

⚔ I trust that you would have my back

👍 you are fun to be around

[phoebe-lou]

AJ: I think I smell something fis-

The Handler: *Eats fish*

The handler: that’s a pretty nice fish

The handler: it would be a shame if someone were to

The handler: eat it.

[phoebe-lou]

Flirting Tips

Klaus: HEY

Random girl: *Looks over* Yes?

Klaus: Those pants look great, girl. Do you know where they would look even better? On my brother’s floor! *Points to Luther*

Luther: *Facepalms*

Random girl: Did you just hit on me? For your brother?

Klaus: He really needs help with things like this, you know?

Ben: *Crying with laughter*

[phoebe-lou]

Is it just me or should we have seen an appearance of sweet little Olga Foroga, where she meets Diego and hits him with a handbag?

[phoebe-lou]

Ben: Say something I’m giving up on you...

Klaus: Bitch what would you do without me?

Ben:

Ben: *Starts sobbing* I love you bro

Klaus: 👁👄👁

[phoebe-lou]

Luther: *Still chasing after Allison*

Ray: 👁👄👁

Vanya: *finds love*

Klaus and Allison cheering her on:

[phoebe-lou]

Allison: Hey guys what’s up?

Luther: *Aggressively flapping his arms like a chicken*

Allision: What are you doing Lu-

Diego: STOP! DON’T SAY HIS NAME!

Allison: ...

Luther: ...

Allison: What’s going on?

Diego: Well him and I were having a bit of a disagreement

Allison: *raises eyebrow*

Diego: He believed that since he’s ‘Number 1’, he is better at everything

Luther: *Glaring intensely whilst tapping foot*

Allison: Oh god *sighs*

Diego: So he suggested we play jinx, and he said I’d never guess what he was going to say

Allison: What was it?

Klaus: *magically appears* I love Allison?!

Allison: ...

Diego: ...

Luther: *crying*

Allison & Diego: *Drags Luther away’

——————————————————————————————

Extra

Allison: So what was it?

Diego: ...

Diego: Well I knew at some point he’d kick off and say ‘DAD SENT ME TO THE MOON FOR A REASOOONNNN’

[phoebe-lou]

The random tow truck guy: You’re so mature for your age.

Five: *thinking about how he’s technically older than this guy* Thanks, it’s the trauma.

[phoebe-lou]

Palm readings ...

Klaus: Ben, you’ll never guess what I learnt today

Ben: *Sniffling* Yeah I was there Klaus, palm reading right?

Klaus: Are you crying?

Ben: No *sobbing quietly*

Klaus: What’s up Casper?

Ben: It’s just... I’ve been feeling really sad as I really hate myself, I feel like I’m a monster...

Klaus: ...

Ben: ...

Klaus: Give me your hand

Ben: Why?? *Sniffles*

Klaus: Just do it

Ben: *Puts hand out*

Klaus: Hmmm that’s funny

Ben: What?!

Klaus: I see your heart line and head line, but ...

Klaus: But I don’t see any monster lines

Ben: ...

Ben: *Sobbing but smiling*

————————————————————————————————

Extra

Klaus: You know I didn’t see a life line either Casper *laughing*

Ben: *Covers Klaus’ mouth* Shhhhhh

Klaus: ...

Ben: Don’t ruin the moment

[phoebe-lou]

Klaus: Cause if you like it, then you shoulda put a ring on it

Klaus: Whoa, oh, oh, oh, oh-oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh

Ben: ...

Klaus: What?

Ben: You were only with this dude for three days

Klaus: Ah good times, he did make the best waffles I’ve ever had

Ben: He was the rehab cafeteria man ...

[phoebe-lou]

Mum’s Favourite Child...

Diego: MUUUUMMMMM

Grace: Yes darling.

Diego: Th-there’s a m-monst-ter und-der m-my b-bed.

Luther: *On the bottom bunk* Why do you hate me?

Grace: Shhhhh. You wonder why he stutters you little gorilla. Go to bed.

Diego: *Sniggers* S-savage

Luther: *Hyperventilating* I’m number one. I’m number one. I’m number one...

[phoebe-lou]

Pickup lines . . .

Luther: Hey girl are you a monkey?

Coz I wanna feed you my banana

Klaus: Calm down monkey-boy

———————————————————————————————

Diego: Is there a phone in your back pocket?

Because that ass is calling me

Klaus: Since when are you an ass man?

———————————————————————————————

Allison: I love your trousers! Bet they’d look better on my bedroom floor

Klaus: I heard a rumour, that that line was cheesy

——————————————————————————————

Five: Did you know your body 70% water? ... I’m thirsty.

Klaus: *Chokes on water*

—————————————————————————————

Ben: Are you a ghost? You've been haunting my dreams all night. *winks awkwardly*

Klaus: You tried Benny-Boo. You tried.

—————————————————————————————

Vanya: Are you a wrecking ball? Because I want you to smash into me.

Klaus: *Singing* I CAME IN LIKE A WRECKING BALLLL

—————————————————————————————

Extra

Klaus: Hey Dave

Dave: Yeah?

Klaus: Did you know my lips are like Skittles and you’re about to taste the rainbow?

Dave: *Blushes*

Vanya: ...

Diego: ...

Literally everyone else: ...

Five: Honestly I loose brain cells in this family

Klaus: I swear you all live to insult me 🥺🏳️‍🌈