phantasiess

[phantasiess]

"Are you ok?" I'm actually tired bro. From the bottom of my heart I'm tired

[phantasiess]

How does life just keep moving forward when everything in me is standing still

[phantasiess]

[phantasiess]

[looks for you in everything] [finds you there]

[phantasiess]

how to get rid of the feeling that there is something irreversibly and unforgiveably wrong with you?????????

[phantasiess]

horrifying what desire does to you but here i am always running towards it

[phantasiess]

scared that I truly am unlovable

[phantasiess]

“My loneliness embarrassed me deeply, constant proof of my unlovability.”

— Peter Kispert, from I Know You Know Who I Am

[phantasiess]

one thing about me is i am not doing so well

[phantasiess]

so. how does anyone ever have the time or energy

[phantasiess]

𝙾𝚌𝚝𝚘𝚋𝚎𝚛 𝟽, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟻
𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝙳𝚒𝚊𝚛𝚒𝚎𝚜 𝙾𝚏 𝙵𝚛𝚊𝚗𝚣 𝙺𝚊𝚏𝚔𝚊, 𝟷𝟿𝟷𝟺-𝟷𝟿𝟸𝟹

[phantasiess]

“To be with her is to sit in autumn sunlight.”

— Virginia Woolf, in a letter to Violet Dickinson, September 1907

[phantasiess]

floating down the river styx on an inflatable donut and high-fiving all the lost souls i pass. i'm on vacation

[phantasiess]

sometimes i wake up and realize i’m still the same heartbroken 17 year old girl just in the body of someone older

[phantasiess]

Do you ever catch yourself being mean for no reason and you’re just like??? go take a nap????

[phantasiess]

being in your 20s is like: i’m so young i’m so old. i should do everything i should rest. i can do what i want but i need to be careful. i’m an Adult™ but i need help from an Adult™. i’m so smart i’m so stupid. i’m leaving i feel left behind. i want to be a kid again and i can’t wait to be old. i’ve done a lot i’ve done nothing. i wanna be alone but i’m so lonely. like.... what the hell ??

[phantasiess]

Me studying for the first time after i've procrastinated for 6 weeks: knowledge is power