personal-thought - Tumblr blog

[personal-thought]

You put so much expectation to people

[personal-thought]

We can see how much you meant to someone when its your birthday. How much they care about you by showing gesture is where is your position in their heart

[personal-thought]

It's really hurt when you think about others first, but then you actually meant nothing to them.

[personal-thought]

Never put your happiness at second place

[personal-thought]

When you put other people's happiness first, but you forget how to make yourself happy. One day you will feel disappointed when you don't receive the same amount of happiness you give to them

[personal-thought]

Why is family matters is so complicated?

[personal-thought]

I just wish, I could feel happiness like any other.

[personal-thought]

Hahahahah

My dad is abusive. Haha and is so fun! Its funny when you receive a lot of bruises but you feel happy hahaha

[personal-thought]

I already died inside. Nothing is fun anymore. Love? Didn't even move me anymore. I already died inside.

[personal-thought]

Should I give up?

Here I'm losing my mind whenever I'm under pressure. Feeling sick whenever someone just hit my mind. But then I feel great whenever I got bruises. I kinda like it. Why did I? Is it because I don't have heart anymore? Did I turn into cold hearted person? Did all my pressure turn me this way? I don't even remember when the last time I cry. I don't wanna know anymore. And here I'm fighting with someone until he punch me and hit me with some stuff, then again, I feel great. I like it. That pain. That bruise. I feel like wanting it even more. Is it normal to feel that way? And this thought come cross to my mind. Is that the sight of me to just give up with my life? That pressure really change me whenever I'm getting older. Is this the sight that I should give up? Mask after mask that I use to cover everything so people wouldn't see my scar. The again. I get used to every scar that I receive. I feel numbed. Should I just give up?

[personal-thought]

Is it weird if I feel great whenever I got pain?

[personal-thought]

While building a wall in my heart so no one would hurt me, but at the same time I hurt other person because of me

[personal-thought]

Don't put your expectations up so high, so that you would not feel devastated.

[personal-thought]

We all know that our brain already know, but our heart that is not ready.

[personal-thought]

For the first time, I had this thought for not giving you my attention. Its for my heart sake. Because I know I never be your priority.

[personal-thought]

I hope you find a lover who starves their ego and feeds their love for you. A lover who loves unashamedly, and allows you to love yourself

Billy Chapata

[personal-thought]

sad is when you can do nothing for the one you care, you cherished, you love, when something bad happend