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now just why would you tell me she was in his robes.

(i don't have a green colored pencil led pretend it's green)

House Of Memories (29/?)

Obi-Wan Kenobi x Padawan!reader

Warnings: okay so like this one's fun, very dark, but fun. not really a lot of warning except for maybe clone wars typical violence??

Summary: You've lost your path to the light... in an attempt to even the score, you travel with Anakin and Ahsoka to kill the man who took your master from you.

A/n: i cannot explain how much i LOVE this episode.... y'all needs understand i'm so hyped for this plotline it's my favorite in all of clone wars it's so angsty UGH

also y'all if you like the story, maybe consider buying me a coffee :)

Words: 3.8k

You did not sleep; you were never able to. You lied still until sunrise, and never rested. Obi-Wan was at eternal rest, but you were restless. It was impossible to calm your mind.

Your entire body was unable to move, weighted down by the heaviness in your head, swirling around and taunting you with its gruesome storm.

You faintly were able to hear the knocking sounds, two taps and then two more on the front entrance door. It shouldn't have made you anxious to hear it, but you were in no state of being to have any sort of company in your presence. You doubted you'd even be able to look whoever it was in the eye. You sure as hell wouldn't be able to speak.

Your prayers for them to leave went unanswered, as the door was opened, and a pair of footsteps came into the apartment, unwelcome. You curled even deeper into your solemn cocoon of sheets and blankets, closing your eyes and feeling darkness wash over you.

You'd welcomed the darkness during the night. The once scary and uncontrollable dark force inside of you, became the only thing that could bring you a semblance of peace... nay, not peace, but a quieter mind. When the darkness consumed you, your thoughts were not painful, just angry. You longed for revenge, to ease the pain and suffering. You were willing to let it drive you, to keep going, to live on after the loss you swore would be your end.

"She's not in her room," you heard Ahsoka's confused voice, and Anakin's reply, which came unsurprised from her words.

"She's in his."

You braced yourself to face your friends, or rather them facing you. You took in a breath in time with the small hiss of the door retracting, and now those same four feet brought their steps up to you, seeing your huddled up form lying motionless in the bed... Obi-Wan's bed.

"Is she awake?" Ahsoka couldn't be sure, she wasn't so in tune with your presence as Anakin was, and yes, he knew you were awake, and trying to avoid them.

He sat beside you on the bed, his hand lifting to rest on your shoulder, his thumb moving in soothing motions that did nothing to help you.

"We got him, the sniper," Anakin told you, and your eyes shot open. What? They got him. What does he mean by that?

"Is he dead?" you asked shortly, your tone was so flat and uncaring, the complete opposite of what you used to be.

"No, he's in a max security prison."

You forced yourself to sit up, looking at Anakin with your dead, sleep deprived expression. He didn't look all that great himself, but you were a wreck. What happened to you?

You shot him a glare, and he could have sworn he saw a golden glow reflect off the center of your irises in that moment. It was gone the next, but it frightened him all the same.

"You brought him in without me?" you barely moved, your normal expressions of rage, with your wild hand movements were not included with your statement... but no, this was far more terrifying. The state you were in, the way you spoke, it all told Anakin that you were battling the darkness, or maybe it had won. He was in no position to tell you it was wrong, because he himself was having to fight it, still.

"The council thought it best to avoid your inclusion," Ahsoka replied, trying to defend Anakin, but also deflect your attention for a moment. You had never looked more lethal than you did right now, wrapped up in Obi-Wan's blankets and clinging to his bed.

You turned your head in her direction now, and she gasped, having seen the face of the girl she knew become cold and ruthless.

"The council did not know what Obi-Wan meant to me; you did. And you decided not to tell me about finding his killer," you had to use every ounce of restrain in your body not to force call an object to your hand, before you would inevitably throw it across the room, shattering someone breakable. You still loved these people, you couldn't hurt them.

"He was unarmed, you would have killed him."

Anakin's words meant nothing to you, because yes, of course you would kill him. He could be begging for mercy at your feet, and you would use your saber to cut every limb from his body until he was unable to even crawl to safety, then you would end his life in the slowest, most agonizing way you could possibly think of.

"And would you have stopped me?" It was a valid question, if you had been there, you wouldn't have hesitated, but would Anakin let you go through with it?

He ducked his head, unwilling to lie to your compelling question, but not wanting to answer truthfully, knowing it would be a travesty against your master's teachings.

"Obi-Wan would not want us to act on revenge."

Good answer, but not the one you were looking for.

"The answer is no; you would have let me kill him in an instant," you corrected him, and he shot his head up to meet your dark eyeline. Everything about you emanated so much weight, something so deep that he began to feel the effects of it in his signature.

"It's not the Jedi way," Ahsoka reminded you, and for a moment you thought you heard Obi-Wan's voice echoing the sentiment to your mind, but it didn't instill in you a need to respect it.

"The Jedi have become corrupt, the republic has made us an army, and we do their bidding without hesitation. The Jedi way has fallen far from what it used to be, and you both know it."

You were getting more frustrated as the time passed, and you sent into Anakin's mind a hint that you wanted them to just stay away from you, to leave you alone and to let you wallow in your misery.

He looked at Ahsoka and nodded for her to leave the room, before ultimately, he stood to his feet, and followed after her. Before he shut the door, he turned back one more time. He shuddered to even speak the words he wanted to say, but they needed to be said.

"Obi-Wan said to us once, that if you suffer to let go, you will suffer to grow."

And then he was gone.

Obi-Wan was ever as wise as his former Master, and often you wondered why he was never a consular like Qui Gon. It was his spirit that was a Guardian. His passionate heart to defend his will and the will of the force, to defend those he cared about, the ones closest to him, and to defend you. He always defended you, and you relied on it, more than you should, but now you have to fight your own battles, and you need more strength than you have.

Sometimes suffering is just suffering. It doesn’t make you stronger. It doesn’t build character. It only hurts.

-

You heard the news of the prison break, it echoed in the halls outside of your apartment, and you were practically jumping out of bed to make sure you hadn't misunderstood anything.

The chancellor was sending Anakin and Ahsoka to capture the escaped prisoners, that of which included Moralo Evol, Cad Bane, and of course, Rako Hardeen.

They would likely be leaving soon to follow the trail that the prison had begun to track.

You needed to be on the ship before it left, this was your chance. This was your chance to even the score, it was your chance to avenge the life of your Master, the one you'd adored so dearly.

You were wearing his robes, and his old cloak, which he kept with him since his padawancy, even after taking the trials, it was a sentimental article that meant something to him. It fit you quite well, and it was full of echoes in the force, from his time and training before you entered his life. There were some remnants of yourself you could sense within the ragged fabric, a younger version of yourself who's trouble seemed so foolish, now.

Your saber was on your hip as you walked down the corridors to the elevator. There were few Jedi, but several clone squads that stared on. Some were from the 212th, which was now your battalion by inheritance. You never gave any of them a second glance, your focus was uninterrupted, and would remain that way until you had accomplished your main goal.

Stepping into the elevator, you caught sight of Master Kit Fisto, who had looked at you with disbelief before the elevator doors were shut and your view was blocked from his expression.

Everyone you passed on the way to the hanger seemed to be completely distracted by you, and you knew why. They sensed it in you, the vengeance was radiating off of you like hot steam, filling the air with the mist and heat when you walked by them. It was frightening to them for sure, to see a young girl who was so optimistic become so enraptured with hatred for a single being.

You saw Anakin and Ahsoka in the distance, waiting on their ship to be fueled, and you approached them swiftly, non-hesitant. Your confidence could not be swayed, even if they cut it down with a lightsaber, you would quickly rebuild it, and keep moving.

"What are you doing here?" Anakin stopped you from going any further, placing himself in the way of the ship and not allowing you even an inch of access.

"I'm coming with you. You'll need my help," you insisted, and though he knew you were very capable of doing so, he was still worried that your emotion will cloud your judgement. "He was my master, Anakin."

"He was mine, too. I understand how you feel, and I'm not going to hold you back, but I need to know you're up for this," he crossed his arms, looking down on you and waiting for a sign of your readiness. You furrowed your brow and shook your head, stepping forward so that you were nearly nose to nose.

"I will not rest until I know the man responsible for Obi-Wan's death has been taken out."

He sighed. That wasn't exactly what he wanted to hear, but he knew better than to argue with you when you were angry, especially this new side of you.

"Let's go," he stepped aside, letting you up onto the ramp, following after you and Ahsoka when you walked up.

The first planet they had been tracked to was already set in the coordinates in the pilot's console, and with Ahsoka as copilot, you figured you would sit in the back, and be company to yourself.

The ride was long, and silent.

Sitting in the hull of the ship, you waited. You waited for them to come back and tell you where you would inevitably find the escaped bounty hunters. You held your saber in your right hand, sliding your thumb up and down over the crystal chamber. It was a subconscious movement, simple and fluid, but you had no idea the affects you were causing with it.

You were already filled with so much anger, so much hatred, you let it motivate you, you allowed it to consume your signature in its whole. You hated that it had this much control over you, the darkness, but it made you stronger, you could feel its power in your veins, every muscle felt energized by the dark force. It was pushing you towards the only new success you craved: vengeance.

You closed your eyes, meditating on this darkness for the first time since you let it overtake you. You absentmindedly kept your hand around your saber, clenching it tightly and using it as a tether.

You weren't sure how you felt, indulging in the darkness like this, to meditate on it in a way you'd been raised to avoid. The Jedi never told you how peaceful and quiet the darkness could be. They always mentioned it was made up of all the horrors you could not yet understand. Perhaps they were wrong.

For you, the dark side had worked almost seductively, luring you in with all it could offer, and empowering you to feel like you were untouchable. You did not even think that something like this could be bad.

You poured all your anger into your meditation, and let it fester, turning into raw power that you could later use to conquer your enemy, and make them-

"Kriff," You swore silently, dropping your saber to the ground for the way it began to burn your hand. It wasn't hot like fire, but the energy stung your skin, and you opened your eyes, letting them fall on where your weapon hit the ground of the ship.

You sensed that something was off, and when you picked it up, you felt it. You'd infused your weapon with your feelings, you may have damaged it from the inside. You ignited it, just as Anakin and Ahsoka were now coming back aboard the ship, and all at once you all witnessed what you had done to your lightsaber, your treasured weapon. This weapon is your life...

"What did you do?" Anakin asked in confusion, looking at the blade in disbelief.

The beautiful green glow that emanated from the hilt was only halfway there, as it collided with the dark red that took over its beauty, and made it into something new, something deeper, something more powerful.

"I don't know."

He looked once at his Padawan, nodding for her to go and start the ship. You were still gazing upon the new red and green glow of your saber, mesmerized by the duality it now possessed. It was quite lovely, and you'd never seen anything like it before.

"We have to talk about this," Anakin said gently as he walked over to you. "I know it's hard to resist the darkness, but you're making me concerned."

You deactivated the saber, clipping it back to your hilt and letting it fall by your side. You looked back at Anakin and saw your truest friend as confidant, the person you felt you could be honest with, and the only other person in this galaxy who might be feeling even a shred of your loss, your grief.

"I can't feel the light anymore... I'm trying, I promise," it wasn't a lie. You were struggling beyond measure to find even the slightest bit of connection to the light side of the force, but every time you thought of your master's teachings, the way he led you, guided you, it pushed you back to the start... but the dark side let you in, and it embraced you with open arms, like it had been waiting all this time.

"This isn't the Jedi way; this isn't what Obi-Wan would want for you."

"Obi-Wan didn't want for me to suffer like this, either," you said, a tear that threatened to spill over but was held back for the sake of your sanity. You couldn't stand to cry anymore, it just kept you in the same state of pain.

"Going against the order won't do us any favors... the council already looks down on us, anything we do is under their scrutiny."

He tried getting closer, but soon realized that was a bad idea.

"I'm going to be expelled," you let out, scoffing with furrowed brows. You were so confident that it would happen, because deep down, even before you lost Obi-Wan, you felt you weren't meant for the Jedi. You felt that they only accepted you because they had to.

"You won't be expelled. They might act like they hate you, but for Obi-Wan's sake they would still care enough to help you."

“No, they won't. All they have ever done is lie to me. To the both of us. For almost our whole lives, we have been told to follow a code. No emotion, but peace. No ignorance, but knowledge. No passion, but serenity. No chaos, but harmony. No death, but the Force,” you stepped forward to him, and though you were not trying to, your force caused the ship to rattle and vibrate beneath you, “But, anger is what brings me peace. The passion to want to hurt the person who killed him…is what brings me serenity.”

He couldn't believe what he was hearing, the strained look in your eyes to hold back tears, your clenched fists. It was all too much for Anakin to take. He was still battling the dark, but for you, the darkness had won. The only way you would be coming back to the temple with him would be if by some miracle, killing the bounty hunter gave you your clarity back.

"You will kill him, I promise."

And with that, he was back in the cockpit, leaving you to fume in the hull.

-

The chase was on, and as you spotted the hunters in the docking port to obtain fuel, you heart pounded deeply in your chest. You were hovered over Ahsoka's seat, watching everything going on and making sure you had the perfect view.

"I have eyes on Cad Bane," Ahsoka said, nodding to the entrance ramp on the ship in the dock.

"Are you sure that's him?"

You scoffed and nodded along with Ahsoka.

"Who else wears a hat like that?"

Anakin circled the station slowly, being careful not to attract any unwanted attention, or to give away to the hunter that you were, in fact, after them.

He waited until they were airborne, letting them gain some speed before he rammed your ship into theirs. You jolted forward, catching yourself between the seats as you stood back up into a straight position. You could see them react rather quickly, but they had nowhere to go. The ship they were in had half the speed and agility capabilities that yours had.

"Ahsoka, take over, we'll bring them down ourselves."

You smirked, discarding your cloak and shaking off your nerves. This was finally it; you were about to set in motion a series of events that would end in the death of Rako Hardeen. You hopped at the chance to jump out of the ship with Anakin, landing on the stabilizer panel by the wing.

Anakin tried to gain access through one of the side entry points, but was immediately met with a challenge, fending off Cad Bane. He was perfectly capable of taking him on, and probably ten other men if he needed to, so you left him in order to find your real target.

You climbed up in front of the cockpit, seeing Moralo Evol looked scared out of his wits. You scanned the area, and as soon as your eyes met with the man who killed Obi-Wan, you froze. Something didn't feel right, but that must have been the anxiety talking. Everything else, the hatred, the anger, the fire that was lit beneath you, it pushed you forward.

He looked at you with not a semblance of fear, but with confusion, and dismay. He made eye contact with you, and for whatever you reason, he looked distraught, like he was sad. It didn't make any sense, but you weren't going to let it bother you. In the end, he would die by your hand, and nothing could stop you, now.

You placed your hand on the glass, focusing the new dark energy within yourself, and using it to slowly crack the glass. The hunter you sought after wasn't scared of you now, but he would be. You'd make sure of it.

You detached your lightsaber from your belt, holding it out to your side and activating it, never breaking eye contact with the man you called your target. You wouldn't be letting him out of your sight. His mouth gaped open and having seen the half-bleeding blade of your saber, he now held deep fear in his eyes.

The glass was almost shattered, with only a few lines left to connect with each other, and Rako knew he had to act fast. He shifted the steering on the ship, lifting it into a climb momentarily, causing the ship that Ahsoka flew above it to collide with the top, and send both transports spiraling into the ground. You were thrown from the vessel, along with Anakin and the other hunter, Bane.

You stood to your feet after coughing up a small amount of dust that you'd inhaled, and then you dusted yourself off, force pulling your saber to your hand as it had landed a bit further from you.

You activated it, stepping through the cloud of fog that surrounded you, and finding the man you were here for. He had gotten off the ship, for what reason you were unsure, but it didn't matter. He was making it easier for you.

You saw Anakin step closer to him on the other side of the fog, surrounding him from leaving in any direction.

"You're going to pay for what you've done," Anakin engaged him in hand-to-hand combat, throwing him into a pit, which you quickly jumped into.

Anakin was kicked back into a corner, so you took your chance, pushing Hardeen into the rocky wall that had formed around the hole in the ground.

"You shouldn't have gotten involved," Rako sounded, for lack of a better word, exasperated, like he took no joy in fighting you both. He had no problem in killing your master, so what was any different now, with the both of you?

You took a hit to the shoulder from Cad Bane, who was fast approaching on your left. You deflected his next shots with your saber, and struck forward, taking out one of his boot thrusters. He was grounded for now, and you needed to focus on the target.

Anakin was now tangled up in a bash with Bane, so you fixed your saber on Hardeen, slowly walking towards him as he struggled to stand to his feet.

"You took everything from me," and then you were right in front of him. He looked at you with eyes of pity, and it bothered you to no end. You were about to bring this man's life to a pathetic halt, and he was the one looking onto you as if you deserved to be pitied. You hated him, hated the very ground he stood on.

You raised your saber, only for it to stop in the air, along with your arm. Why can't I move?

Rako tackled you into the ground, deactivating your saber, and pinning you beneath him, arms on either side of your head. He straddled your hips and put nearly all his weight to keep you immobile, before he leaned down and whispered in your ear.

"I can't hurt you... Stay down, little one."

You froze, a gasp leaving your throat and your eyes widening in shock.

"Obi..." you trailed off, complete disbelief washing over you. You felt a warm, comforting presence embrace you, before his hands at the side of your head faded you into unconsciousness.

-

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[perrangg]

fought super hard to get this out despite krita's will- i scrambled to make this after @meshlasolus put out chapter 27. im decaying rapidly.

[perrangg]

some more doodles of @meshlasolus HoM Y/N. and one of her and Ani doing drunk karaoke! i'm trying to get warmed up and set in drawing the main players in the fic so i when i get to making complete art i can have them down solid!

[perrangg]

i am not the intended audience for @meshlasolus 's House of Memories i suppose- i'm a trans man, gay for obi wan- but i'm HOOKED. cant stop thinking abt them.

i was hoping to get more art done since i sent in an ask yesterday but unfortunately i work a full time job- more to come hopefully! i've got some cool stuff planned in my head, just gotta draw it now lol.