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"Candy Hearts" by Tommy Siegel

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Happiness Will Come To You.

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I wanna see someone draw the batboys in Arcane style. I think that would just look wonderful.

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Did a bit of an art style mimic challenge where I added myself into my favorite cartoons

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I hate them

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just got back into gardening so i’ve forgotten. are basil leaves supposed to be this big

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The defeated and bloodied king was chained to kneel in front of his enemy and he says weakly: "Is my wife still alive?" His enemy nodded. "You fools," he said smirking, and the king starts laughing as the sounds of explosions getting closer shake the room.

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Damian: when i was small, my grandfather-

Tim: ha. ‘was’

Damian:

Damian: when i was small, my grandfather would have people torture me with knives to raise my pain tolerance.

Tim:

Tim: alright, well-

Damian: ashamed, Drake?

Tim: fuck you

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The first time Duke crashed out wss the first time the batfam ever truly met him

I still stand by the fact that he was heavily code switched when he first joined the fam

But when he crashed out for the first time (which was probably over Bruce parenting him) he cussed them out like he was back in the narrows, yes he did heavily use the n word, yes his accent is heavier than jasons, yes his AAVE comes full swing when he argues, and yes he was spitting such facts and was so unfiltered that this argument could come close to an argument with dick and bruce

Like once someone crosses duke's boiling point there's no going back

He probably would have to hold back from swinging on someone since he grew up in a school w frequent fights and frequently fought

And then for Duke he's not arguing with his dad or siblings he's arguing with some rich ass people who decided to take him in rn

He isn't holding shit back cuz his parents are jokerized and he couldn't give two flying FUCKSZ about anyone else rn

And ik duke's comebacks are sharp and quick cuz having and argument with an incompetent high-school boy has to be a form of psychological training

When Duke argues with them for the first time they watch as "newly adopted, kind, hope if gotham, rise of the sun-" Duke go flying out of his body, and the enter of "no bullshit, quick to clock a hoe ass bitchs shit, fuck yo self and fuck yo knocked kneed mf granny, your not my mf daddy bitch ass nigga,- Duke

And don't get me started on how loud this man will get, especially if he's crying- cuz if you tell him to calm down it's overrrr

This man will make the walls shake w the power he will put in his voice if someone dared to get loud w him- if they go low he goes lower

The moment Damian tried to shit talk him they argued for an hour, Duke prolly gained Damian respect from them tearing eachother apart- like their both kids maybe not close in age but still argue with no remorse cuz there's no respect your elders shit goin on

And you think this man won't act a fool at a gala? Think again

Hell turn this snobby gala into a block party real mf quick

Look down on him and all you'll see is that uppercut he finna give ya

Neway stan bitch ass menace Duke🙏🏾🙏🏾🙏🏾

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Dick: Alfred and Bruce are not here, and I'm the oldest, which makes me the one in charge. Dick: Jason is the second oldest, so he's my wife. Tim: That's not how it works. Jason: Don't talk back to your father.

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Jason joining the Waynes at public outings but in disguise after he’s reconciled with the family is so funny to me. Bruce gets drunk as fuck at a gala and is publicly bemoaning about how much he mourns his second son while Jason is dressed as a bartender shaking a cocktail shaker behind the bar nearby just. staring daggers at him.

Gothamite: poor brucie is having such a tough night, can we get him another drink please???

Damian, sat cross-legged on the bar with a J2o in hand: he’s cut off.

‘bartender’ Tason Jodd: no he can have one.

Dick, also leaning on the bar: why, what are you gonna do to it?

Tim, spinning around on a bar stool: he’s been putting salad cream into the drinks of people that piss him off. it’s great.

Jason, humming: honestly fuck being a crime lord, this is my calling.

Bruce, from the other side of the room wailing: GOD, WHY, HE WAS SO YOUNG-!

The kids:

Jason: i might put salad cream AND hoisin sauce in this one.

Tim: i usually don’t like these galas but i’m having such a great time right now.

Damian: family bonding is much different here than it was back in the league…

Jason: only because Ra’s never fucking noticed when we messed with his drinks. old fucking bitch. no taste buds left.

Damian: *hums*

Tim: *wheeeing as he spins around*

Dick:

Dick: have you been giving him fucking alcohol?

Jason, shrugging: i mean yeah, why not? i’m drunk.

Dick: bOTH OF YOU ARE UNDERAGE-!?!!?

Jason: at least i didn’t let Damian have any.

Damian: you did offer me a puff of your cigarette though.

Tim: *falls off his bar stool*

Dick: jesus christ

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Batfam Karaoke tournament headcanons

I firmly believe that the batfam has a bi-monthly karaoke night, which is mandatory for all family members. You can enter with a serious song or a joke song it doesn't matter, but you have to perform. It doesn't matter if someone can sing or not, the others judge them on execution and ✨️vibes✨️. It's forbidden to let any preexisting grudges affect your rating. You WILL be called out if you do.

Dick has a nice voice, but nothing extraordinary. He usually goes with his favourite song at the time, or something really relatable to him. His dance routines always slap tho. Best performances include: Holding out for a hero by Bonnie Tyler, Inertia by AJR and 30 by Bo Burnham

Barbara usually only performs the one mandatory song, but she's a ruthless judge. She is responsible for recording the event, and making memes from it that can be used in the groupchat. Her favourite song to perform is Burn for You from the Bridgerton musical that she and Dick made a choreography for when they were still dating. They perform it at least once a year for nostalgia sake. Other than that, her best performances were I am not a Robot by Marina and a duett of Mamma Mia with Steph.

Jason "theatre kid" Todd is living his best life every tournament. He usually has 3 songs prepared, and depending on the mood, he performs one. His voice is really fucking good. And the worst part is, he knows and weaponizes this. He usually makes podium, if not wins it all together. Best performances include: Bad Reputation by Joan Jett & the Blackhearts, My Petersburg from the Anastasia musical and Dos Oruguitas by Sebastian Yatra (which DID make everyone cry for 3 hours)

Tim goes with a meme song every single time. His voice is horrible. Despite that, his choreography and dedication sometimes gets him to the podium. His best performances include: How bad can I be? from The Lorax, Barbie and Ken by Scene Queen and Set it Off (duett with Steph) and on one memorable occasion WAP: Midwest emo rendition. He WAS disqualified for the last one, but it was legendary.

Steph gives it her all every single time, and she usually makes it to the podium. Her voice is good, but it's the dedication which she performs with that sells the show every time. She usually sings at least 2 songs, sometimes even a duett at the end. Best performances include: Die Young by Kesha, Girls just want to have fun as a duett with Cass, and all American bitch by Olivia Rodrigo

Damian doesn't like singing. His voice is at the stage where it starts cracking, and he doesn't really listen to music with words. He does like to dance tho, so he usually sings duetts where he can be a background dancer while the other performs. Best performances include: It's tough to be a god with Duke, Revolting Children performed by the whole Batkidclan and Prince Ali sang by Jason ABOUT him, while he acted out everything Jason sang about.

Duke likes singing, but he's mostly here to judge. His points are always fair and well thought out. He's the most influential judge right after Alfred. He does have to perform tho, so he usually chooses something he listened to right before the competition and is already in his head. Best performances include: Bourgeoisieses by Conan Gray, Dirty Town by Mother Mother and Come on Eileen by Dexys Midnight Runners.

Cass is selectively mute, so depending on the day, she might just dance, or she might sing you to tears. Her voice is a little rough around the edges from misuse, and she mispronounces some words, but the emotion behind it shines through every time. Best performances include: a ballet to Swan Lake, a modern dance interpretation of Luminery by Joel Sunny, and Last Words of a Shooting Star by Mitski (which also left everyone crying for 3 hours)

Bruce is not exempt from the competition. His kids are adamant he performs too, but he doesn't actually care what he sings, so the song depends on what kid gets to him first. Crowd favourites include Bring me to life by Evanescence, Teenagers by MCR, Little girls from the Annie musical, and one time when Tim got to him first My Dead Gay Son from the Heathers musical.

Alfred performed exactly once, and it was a heartbreaking rendition of Frank Sinatra's My Way. He was forbidden from participating because he would win every single time. Now he's only judging, and his points are greatly sought after.

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when i say i’m from ukraine, people assume i live somewhere else now. when i say i live in ukraine, they assume i’m somehow immune to war, and there’s a logical division between a ukrainian they chat with on discord and a ukrainian on the news. bitches my yaoi is written from the bomb shelter

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president zelensky is a stronger man than me because if two ignorant and deluded men like trump and vance started demanding i say please and thank you and calling me disrespectful like im a naughty child instead of a very traumatised and frustrated man trying to save his country from putin id have put them both in the ground with a single fucking punch