perfect-condition

[perfect-condition]

(genuinely offended) "I trust all of my viziers"

[perfect-condition]

this is actually like my third or fourth rodeo so i sort of get it but sort of dont

[perfect-condition]

people in books and tv shows are always getting so upset they throw an untouched meal in the trash. that would never be me. i'd receive the worst news of my life and still be like Let me put this in the fridge.

[perfect-condition]

i didnt know you were allowed to do things for the sake of wanting to do things. i thought you were just supposed to keep that locked inside your ribcage and let it rot you inside out until youre limping around as the desiccated corpse of who you could have been

[perfect-condition]

[perfect-condition]

"Do you ever dream of land?" The whale asks the tuna.

"No." Says the tuna, "Do you?"

"I have never seen it." Says the whale, "but deep in my body, I remember it."

"Why do you care," says the tuna, "if you will never see it."

"There are bones in my body built to walk through the forests and the mountains." Says the whale.

"They will disappear." Says the tuna, "one day, your body will forget the forests and the mountains."

"Maybe I don't want to forget," Says the whale, "The forests were once my home."

"I have seen the forests." Whispers the salmon, almost to itself.

"Tell me what you have seen," says the whale.

"The forests spawned me." Says the salmon. "They sent me to the ocean to grow. When I am fat with the bounty of the ocean, I will bring it home."

"Why would the forests seek the bounty of the oceans?" Asks the whale. "They have bounty of their own."

"You forget," says the salmon, "That the oceans were once their home."

[perfect-condition]

chicago pope tweets

[perfect-condition]

american pope leo xiv please excommunicate jd vance because it would be so fucking funny.

[perfect-condition]

thank you weird trans women forever

[perfect-condition]

hate how they forced bugs bunny into anti-weed propaganda in the 90s, as if bugs bunny wouldn’t love smoking weed 

[perfect-condition]

the curse is lifted! you are no a beast no more! congratulations! but you'll never forget the way they looked at you, will you.

[perfect-condition]

You ever hear that old chestnut about how most people neglect the part of the story of Icarus where he also had to avoid flying too low, lest the spray of the sea soak his feathers and cause him to fall and drown? You ever think about how different the world would be if Icarus died that way instead? If the idiom was to Fly To Close To The Sea? A warning against playing it far too safe, about not stretching your wings and soaring properly? You ever think about how Icarus died because he was happy?

[perfect-condition]

they could literally make way more popes. it's artificial scarcity

[perfect-condition]

I love that I share my house with one of the most efficient apex predators millions of years of evolution could produce. I love that two of nature’s most prolific machines met and were like “hmmm. We should lay around and do nothing together”. Now we’re both fat and happy and full of meat. The hedonism of it all

[perfect-condition]

draft kings could do the funniest thing ever right now and offer a free $5 bet on the next pope

[perfect-condition]

If Vance isn't even a little concerned that he might have killed the pope then you know without a doubt that he's a performative fake catholic

[perfect-condition]

Thots on the Pope

So the pope has thots now