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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 23 days ago

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just as i was opening the app to write this, something touched me on my shoulder while i was laying on my bed 😭 it was a fucking mice. i swear i would’ve killed the fucker but i ended up getting him away. lil fucker ran like usain bolt in beijing.

let me get back to what i came to express.

for the past one and a half year life has felt like i’ve been stuck in limbo, not really amounting up to anything. i find myself generally dwelling on all the things that are going on right now and it’s all negative most of the time. the habits i’ve built over the past few years have landed me in this pit that i want to come out of but have no idea how. i feel so stuck, everything that has been going on has rendered me into this self loathing lazy ass guy. but all along the way there has been this hope inside of me that i’ll make it no matter what, like a light in a world full of darkness, the limbo.

there has been tears, laughter, so many awkward fucking moments and so many memories that i have earned in this limbo that no matter where i end up they will always be a part of me, a notion of my identity and a feeling that i can always come back too when i want. there are both good and bad sides to everything, good and bad in the sense there are so many sides/dimensions to everything that we perceive and according to our experiences and how we perceive life we put them into the good and the bad basket, different to each individual. the same way is how i see this limbo world of mine. i often wonder that what if maybe i’ve died and this limbo of mine is actually the limbo dante spoke into existence. maybe i didn’t commit as many sins because there are so many good parts to this limbo too. very great, magical, once in a lifetime moments have been experienced during my time here along with the very bad, lame, should never happen moments. now i what i take from all of this is that to learn, grow and foster as a spirit you have to go through everything that you go through. no matter good or bad there’s always a lesson, always a learning.

i often get glimpses of the world outside this limbo, the one beyond the self hate, the one beyond the mind, the one where my soul feels what i think souls should feel all the time, love and acceptance for itself. the self control required to reach there is achievable but hard af yo i try but i don’t give it my all, i’ve been procrastinating alot. procrastination rules this limbo world. maybe weed too. they are the gods here, the ones with control. “i made you use your self control and you made me lose my self control” are the lyrics that keep coming back to me, how can they be so real? the worst part about this all has been loneliness, maybe another god of this limbo world. i fucked up in my relationship of 1.5 years and lost everything we built. i still think about her sometimes but it’s alright tho, there’s nothing that can be done about it for now, as long as i am stuck here in limbo, but either way i’m forever grateful for what we had and just hope she stays at her best always. that’s all i have i can do it about it.

anyfuckingway, i have to get out of here as soon as i can and the only person that can take me out of here is me. that’s the reason why it has been so long that i’ve been stuck here, my lazy fucking ass being lazy about stopping being lazy. i’m aware tho now about alot of things that i was sleeping on before and with that same beacon of light, my hope in myself, i will keep pushing and pushing and pushing and pushing, maybe pull where i’d have to pull, you feel what i’m saying? still have to go to vienna and idk do alot of fucking things while i’m here so yeah let’s go let’s get it. what’s gone is gone, what’s coming is unknown. living is being present, living is done now.

gonna dip now got a long aah day tomorrow.

good night <3

godspeed

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 9 months ago

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😭😭😭

nostalgia? no

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 9 months ago

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got high and made these

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 9 months ago

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iced mocha sea salt w no salt lol @the third wave coffee 7/10

they had two options : sea salt and orange zest. i was like i don’t want flavours in my mocha so they said take sea salt and then you can add an modification that’s “no salt” and i was like bruh why don’t you have just the simple option. the menu said nothing about the flavours tho. it said mocha and then for mocha there were two options, iced and hot. so yeah. shit was fire tho. i love coffee i just avoid it because i don’t want to be addicted to one more thing. i get addicted real quick. but the energy i get oh my i want to fuck some photoshop edits you feel me? like yeah where’s my laptop i want to edit a frank ocean poster for my wall for 5 hours straight. but then i can do it w/o coffee w low energy as well. i should experiment w my design where i design stuff wo drinking coffee and make some after drinking coffee and then compare them. it’s just one of these thoughts that i have i don’t know if i’m gonna do it. if i do, i’ll let you guys know.

i fuck w it (the coffee)

ps, sorry i don’t capitalise my I’s and letters after the full stop i’m too lazy to press that uppercase button. shit should just get auto-capitalised. lemme check if there’s an option for that.

enough for today

peace.

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 9 months ago

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this reminds me of so many things but the first thing that came into my mind was nike mercurial fire and ice

Burning Steamer, Marcus Larson (1825-1864) and Ship on Stormy Seas, Ivan Konstantinovich Aivazovsky (1817-1900)

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 9 months ago

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fuck yeah tape and paper woohooooooo

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 10 months ago

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freeflow on freeform

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 10 months ago

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went for a shave after this

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peppermintjesus-blog1 · 10 months ago

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designed this for my insti cult council. took so much time to come up with the end result, had the concept in my mind pretty early into the act. i don’t know how my designs are i’m unable to judge right off the bat it takes time for me to actually get what could be better or what could be altered. its actually just a moment or flash when i’m like yeah this is it i’m tired i can’t put any more energy into it and the design at that moment is what i finalise and send forward. anyway had an idea to add a demonic japanese lion in this because lion is one of our identity elements here at iitr. but then i thought why japanese and then went into ancient indian art and folk art but ended up making this. something more could’ve come up if time constraints weren’t a factor. anyway, here it is.

inspo : raul urias