pedestriansquirrel

[pedestriansquirrel]

[pedestriansquirrel]

what will it be, boss? the comfort of misery or the pain of change?

[pedestriansquirrel]

TOMORROW IS HALLOWEEN!!!

[pedestriansquirrel]

Just a few clicks on their site and it writes the letter to your reps.

[pedestriansquirrel]

Your friends watching something for the first time and getting to that scene VS you, the knower.

[pedestriansquirrel]

hurrying home to my castle when i see lightning and remember that i left the frankenstein plugged in on the slab

[pedestriansquirrel]

SINCE WHEN CAN BOTS CREATE POLLS??? EXCUSE ME?? ALSO WHAT ARE THESE OPTIONS?

[pedestriansquirrel]

[pedestriansquirrel]

A spoon's only objective in life is to make soup go upwards, and it knows this. That's why when you put one under a running tap it blasts the water way high. The spoon thinks there's suddenly TONS of soup to deal with and it freaks out.

[pedestriansquirrel]

I like how the lack of spacing here implies that the helpline is there for those addicted to eating raw flour, dough, or batter, like a gambling helpline or something

[pedestriansquirrel]

[pedestriansquirrel]

[pedestriansquirrel]

should i eat first or shower first *has phone in couch time for another 3 hours due to choice procrastination, a behavioral phenomenon observed in pigeons and rats as well*

[pedestriansquirrel]

it's not glamorous, but it's also not honest work, and nobody needs to do it

[pedestriansquirrel]

[pedestriansquirrel]

yo i ain’t saying she’s a gold-digger but she does carry a weird pan everywhere and keep mumbling stuff about “gold in them there hills” idk so yeah she is probably a gold digger

[pedestriansquirrel]

the hill me and the mutuals are dying on