pebblepondering

[pebblepondering]

[pebblepondering]

Why complicate Life

1. Missing somebody – Call.

2. Wanna meet up – Invite.

3. Wanna be understood – Explain.

4. Have questions – Ask.

5. Don’t like something - Speak up.

6. Like something – Share it.

7. Want something - Ask for it.

8. Love someone – Tell them.

You only live once. Keep it simple.

[pebblepondering]

request a gifset → @heartwasglass asked: Taylor + lilac?

“I hope you know that you’ve given me the courage to change. I hope you know that who you are is who you choose to be, and that whispers behind your back don’t define you. You are the only person who gets to decide what you will be remembered for.”

[pebblepondering]

request a gifset → @heartwasglass asked: Taylor + lilac?

“I hope you know that you’ve given me the courage to change. I hope you know that who you are is who you choose to be, and that whispers behind your back don’t define you. You are the only person who gets to decide what you will be remembered for.”

[pebblepondering]

gibbs talks about his own self-loathing and suddenly it’s all i can think about.

[pebblepondering]

[pebblepondering]

I have very few friends irl but I have reached a point in my self love journey where I can zip up my dress by myself, comfortably eat alone in public, and make myself laugh until my stomach hurts. At this point I welcome anyone to love me but I don’t need them to.

[pebblepondering]

sorry for romanticizing the mundane but the fact that laughter is infectious is so incredible to me. like yeah it's just a reaction to stimuli but the way it feels to hear someone laugh and feel yourself compelled to share that joy is really something. and it's so simple and requires no skill but it's so special and important to me.

[pebblepondering]

❤️

Meeting

We meet people, but see them only through our own opinions and deceptive perceptions of right or wrong, likes and dislikes.

When the mind is full, there is no room for any new experience. A closed fist cannot shake hands.

Hence, we are unable to experience joy and comfort in their wonderful presence, or offer our genuine selves to those we meet. This is a cause of isolation and loneliness in our lives.

Like children, we can be mindful and open ourselves to the pleasure of being attentive and authentic in our meeting with friends and family, without projecting our own expectations. There is so much to discover and share when we do that. The joy we create, is the joy we receive.

~ Meeta Ahluwalia

As Rumi said

“Your task is not to seek for love, but merely to seek and find all the barriers within yourself that you have built against it.”

"I come to you without me. Come to me without you."

[pebblepondering]

Gregory Peck as Atticus Finch in TO KILL A MOCKINGBIRD (1962)

[pebblepondering]

I tell people about my autistic traits all the time, they just don’t know it because I don’t say “autistic.”

It’s kind of funny sometimes, like this text, but it is also genuinely a good strategy.

“Oh, I don’t get hints very well! Feel free to be direct!”

“I apologize if I forget your name/face, I’m pretty face blind so if I don’t seem to remember you next time we see each other it’s not because I hate you haha, just remind me who you are”

“It’s not that I don’t like you guys, I just need breaks from people now and then or I get burnt out.”

“Maybe this is silly, but I’m bad with inflections—can you clarify if that was a joke or if you meant it seriously?”

“No thanks, I don’t eat that, the texture is a sensory issue for me.”

“Lemme know if my wiggliness is distracting and I’ll find a different way to fidget :)”

“I’d love to get together sometime! I have a hard time with unexpected changes and can’t guarantee I’ll be able to go without advance notice so let’s plan ahead and do it!”

Literally, as long as the person you’re talking to is a decent human being, most of the time you do not need to actually disclose that you’re autistic in order to explain your autistic traits.

[pebblepondering]

Tips for Reading with ADHD

(or without ADHD, if they help regardless)

Physical print:

cover the page with a piece of paper and reveal lines/paragraphs as you read them

use a highlighter to emphasize important/interesting parts

take notes as you go to be physically engaged with the material

Digital media:

copy and paste the text into a doc/word processor

change the font size/style/colour to something more legible

make your own paragraphs and spacing

copy and paste one paragraph at a time to isolate them from the distraction of the rest of the text

install a browser extension like BeeLine Reader or Mercury Reader

zoom in on the page and scroll slowly so you’re revealing lines as you read them

physically cover the screen and reveal lines as you read them

if you do better with physical media, print it out or find a physical copy

Both:

read out loud

pace, move around, or use a fidget while reading

set a timer for 5 minutes and read in small chunks with breaks in between

divide the material into sections and read one section at a time with breaks in between

have another person, audio book, or text-to-speech program read it aloud as you follow along

[pebblepondering]

Happy Birthday Harrison Ford!

[pebblepondering]

[pebblepondering]

No one speaks about the numbness you feel when you’re healing. It feels like you’re just sitting in between not being sad but, also not being happy. I know I don’t want to go with being sad again but, why does being happy feel so out of reach?

I’m tired. Healing is not for the weak. It takes a determined person to keep going in wanting to become the best version of themselves. A strong person who wants to break generational curses. A strong person that sees that sometimes they have been the problem.

Wherever you are in your healing journey, keep visualizing your higher self. Cause I swear that’s the only thing that keeps me going. I smile big and feel proud whenever I visualize my higher. It gets me excited and fuels me to keep pushing. To stay disciplined even when I’ve lost all motivation.

[pebblepondering]

Hard to swallow pill

The world isn’t gonna stop while you take a pause and wallow in self-pity, negativity, and self-deprecating thoughts. 

Opportunities will pass you by, people will continue to make waves and the world isn’t going to press pause and wait for you to catch up.

Time is precious and your time is NOW.

Dust yourself off, whatever it is you’re feeling: powerless, lost, misguided, untalented is just a FEELING. don’t let it define you and don’t let it consume you.

It might feel real, the heaviness and weight of negative thoughts, but ultimately YOU choose to give power to thoughts, and you can choose to change your thoughts, and you can also believe and give power to better thoughts: empowering thoughts, inspiring thoughts, positive thoughts, fearless thoughts.

Don’t wallow in that pit too much, don’t get comfortable there, it’s okay to take time to rest and heal, but you can always heal while doing the work that you know needs to be done.

Self love isn’t about taking bubble baths and watching netflix while eating cupcakes, self love involves all the ugly we don’t want to face, it involves powering through the pain and discomfort to do what needs to be done, so that your future self can be comfortable, fulfilled, provided for.

It’s actively getting out of bed, and doing that exercise, applying for that job, reading that book chapter, saying hi to those people you don’t want to talk to, and facing the demons you want to hide from.

one of my favorite quotes is the following “ The only way out, is through”

there are no back doors, no shortcuts, hacks or time-skips, there’s just work, inner-work, and physical work, day-in and day-out.

Keep that vision clear in front of you: who do I want to be, how do I want to feel, how do I want my life to look, keep that image in front of you and know that only YOU can get yourself to that place.

And as someone said here on tumblr : the life you want for yourself is one the other side of discipline!

[pebblepondering]

HOW TO STOP PROCRASTINATING

This is what helps me. Feel free to add anything I’ve missed.

Turn off whatever the hell you’re distracting yourself with. There are apps and browser extensions that can help with this. But please, shut it off now.

Write everything down. Write down whatever you’re stressed about. Get all of it out of your head and onto paper. From this list, make a plan. I don’t care if you can’t finish everything today, plan on doing THREE THINGS that will make your situation better.

Set a timer for 5 minutes. Clear off your workspace, put some comfy clothes on, and get whatever you need to get into a productive headspace.

At the end of your 5 minute timer, you NEED to start working on whatever it is you’re putting off. Literally, just start. Don’t think twice about it. I know work isn’t always fun, but it will feel a million times better than putting it off and feeling terrible.

Allow this very second to be your ‘reset’. Don’t wait for next week or tomorrow or in an hour.

RIGHT NOW is your fresh start.

RIGHT NOW is your blank slate.

There is absolutely nothing stopping you from taking control and getting your shit done.