peachychibi

[peachychibi]

eyes wide open | Doyoung

eyes wide open (but i’m still dreaming)

Genre: breakup!au | angst

Member: Doyoung / Reader

Warnings: written in lapslock  waking up to the thought of him at ungodly hour started to feel familiar when it shouldn’t have been. as she looked up to the ceiling blanketed in sheer darkness, she let her mind wander to the place that she swore to never step into again. 

his eyes were always the first thing that came forth every time she tried to lull herself back to sleep. then if she managed to unstop it, all hell would break loose, signaling her stupid brain to somehow went into complete overdrive by playing out any random memory of him. even the most mundane one that she did not even realize was stored impeccably in her hippocampus. 

two days back she walked through how he would discreetly hold her hand under the table while they studied together in the library. trying to date clandestinely, away from any peering crowd cause obviously getting chummy in front of their friends was not their thing. she wished she could have treasured those moments more, she wished she could have treasured him more.  

yesterday, the evocation led to one of their fights. she forgot the second by second details but she guessed it was because she forgot to book tickets for some indie movie screening. it was somewhere along the line that he called her “irresponsible” and it got worse and worse after she bit back by claiming him “outrageously selfish”. 

they stopped talking for three whole days and the silence was only broken since apparently his mom invited her to their house. it was his mother’s birthday, there was no way in hell they were going to stay petty any longer. so apologize, they both did. 

(and also she made it up by getting them both tickets of another one of his favorite movies, guess that was why it turned out fine.) 

this night’s trip took her to the last time she ever laid her eyes on him. it was at his graduation day, in july, two months have passed since that moment. they were already over by then, yet she still made time to personally send her regards to him. his dark blue robe fit his posture perfectly, he looked lovely smiling around with his friends. he looked happy just as any normal person would be on their graduation day. what she did not understand was why it hurt so much seeing him doing well without her. it got her thinking perhaps the one who was selfish was not him but her all along. 

it was a bit awkward but that much was expected from two exes who broke up on a bad term—from her perspective she considered getting dumped over text messages as one of her worst breakup experience. not sure about him though. 

as she got closer to where he stood, his friends dispersed and left the two alone. the sun was doing its best during this particular summer but the walnut tree shielded them from the scorching heat. 

she bought him a rosemary plant instead of flowers, taking them back to a fortnight before their break up where he told her that rosemary was his favorite scent. he already received an assortment of flowers anyway, she’d like stand out at least. she wanted to show him that in spite of what he believed, she did care about him. she kept in mind all of the little things he said and at that point in time she stopped caring about how pathetic she might look. mooning over someone who did not seek for her warmth anymore. 

“i’ll make sure to come to yours, too. so graduate soon, yeah?”, she recalled him saying it. even anyone from miles away already knew that was only a mere act of niceties. she wondered if he secretly despised her. he truly had turned into a stranger once more. it was almost like those two years spent together were nullified, they never actually happened. 

the scene ended with the two strangers shaking hands and bidding their farewell. it was almost cinematic, yet the bitterness left a lingering taste even up till now. 

as the recollection faded out she could feel the witching hour’s coldness sneaking up underneath her blanket, like an old friend unconsciousness aided her in a welcoming comfort. with eyes shut closed she finally stopped dreaming. 

[peachychibi]

you know i don’t mind

It seemed clearer to him today more than ever that love and hate were just two sides of the same coin, the one standing on a whole different track was indifference. She didn’t care about you if she wasn’t checking when you intentionally ignored her for days. You knew it was a red flag when you asked for her advice and she’d just agree to whatever the hell you were blabbering. If she genuinely gave a single damn, she’d look into your eyes when you were talking. The least she could do was to pretend to be interested in this whole encounter, he traveled this far just to meet her, damn it. 

‘She tried, though. She tried to put on her sweetest smile. She has not left yet, that’s something, right?’, his mind reasoned but his heart knew exactly how pathetic he was acting. He never thought that he would not mind seeing hatred in her eyes instead of the distracted gaze she had been giving him for the past two hours. Anything would be fine compared to this, even seeing scorn in her eyes would be better. It did not take a scientist to know that turning loathe to affection was easier than procuring love from absolute oblivion. 

It was so fucked up that one day she decided to not care anymore, but he understood his head was unquestionably sicker than hers. Because he didn’t mind any of it. Anything would be better than indifference yet receiving it meant nothing to him. 

She no longer cared and he didn’t mind at all if she did. As long as he had any semblance of her companionship in the back of his memories, he’d float on. His place in the throne had been surrendered by the time he chose to let go of his poor common sense for the sake of feeding his empty heart.

 He was well on his way to fuck up his life from the start, there was no point in stopping if it was already too late.

[peachychibi]

if it’s over, will it be enough?

When will it be enough?

He never said he’d call but I still waited patiently for his name to light up on my phone screen that night. This expectation was just another corollary of a six-years long habit. Ah, I guess at this point in time, that would be the most suitable definition for what we had. A habit. Or maybe a routine, convention, pattern, norm, whatever you named it. Those terms were all perfect to describe us. The navy blue clock on my bedroom wall kept on ticking, the tick-tocking sound never bothered me this obscenely before. It was 9PM. We usually talked around this time, chatting about nothing in particular. Just.. sharing anything that came through our minds. We were both complete chatterboxes, we loved hearing our own voice almost as much as we loved responding to each other’s stories. It was not exactly my fault for expecting his call for he’d usually text me if he wouldn’t be able to do so. He did not need to, that much I did understand, yet he still did. Like I said, this night-call was a routine, it was our thing somehow. Maybe he’d text me soon, I thought while cocooning inside my blanket. He was probably stuck in a traffic jam somewhere, or perhaps his phone battery died. I ran through all of the feasible scenarios, what could be the reason for this anomaly? Well if it happened more than once, could it even be called an anomaly? I could not even start to muster what I actually wanted. Even if he called, did I even want to talk to him? Did I have anything of importance to say to him? Why did the fact that he had not dialed my number for the past two weeks trouble me so much? Was it because we had no proper communication whatsoever in the past month? >> “Hey, sorry, I was out with the guys.” >> “I miss you.” >> “Have a great day at work!” Those were his typical messages these days. When did this thing become so stale? “It’s normal if you miss him.”, I remembered what my friend said after I told her about this uneasiness I’ve been feeling. What I failed to explain further to her was that, I was not even sure I miss him at all? Heck, I was not even feeling anything other than discomfort. The omitted twisted part was that I was only feeling agitated over breaking a series of habit we crafted for the past six years. Not over his lack of presence in my life. How will you know if it’s enough? Two lovers seeing one another after two months of being apart, one would reckon the meeting would be affectionate at most. I guessed that sweet romantic rendezvous would be happening right now if only the two lovers in subject were not us. Was there still a thing called “us” in this instance? We were sitting across each other in a family diner, every single corner of this particular place was familiar to me. We have been going to this diner since we were both high school seniors. If you bet that I had memorized the whole set of menu then you would most likely win. I did not even need to read the menu paperback again to know my (and also his) orders by heart. As cliché as the whole situation was panned out to be, I did feel like our distance that night was a hundred miles. It was hard of me to even explain what was going on between us. If I got to quote the lyrics of this certain famous pop song, we don’t fucking talk anymore. I was busy with my phone and so was he. I was busy looking around just to avoid having eye contact with him. The existence of “Us” had never been this awkward before. I tried to initiate some conversations, like how was his job hunting progress so far, what was he doing these days, his recent camaraderie with his friends, were his parents well.. I could not help but feel like an HR officer asking standard questions to a job applicant. He was nice to me though, he was engaged to the whole banter once he made an effort to. However, it seemed to me that another cliché quote was in order to fully illustrate the whole night: We were conversing but not communicating. Did this make sense? It was a Saturday, our night out on a weekend was normally long and full of harmless fun. Going out and going home afterwards was not something we were accustomed to. One way or another, we would be set out to spend the night going along with any impulsivity that crossed our minds. Yet, that night, I knew it was going to be different. “So, where do we go from here?”, the question held a heavier burden if it was to be thrown out of context. “Up to you.”, he replied absentmindedly. He ended up taking me home early. Is it finally enough?

We graduated October last year, I got a job on February. A shitty job but it paid me a great sum, it was okay for a first job. It was a temporary job anyway, I was going to stay until I finally got a breakthrough or something. He was still applying here and there, waiting for interview calls from now and then. Clearly, this was one of the thing that sort of drifted us away. I barely got time for myself due to my toxic working hour, while on the other side, he got all the time in world. Did he feel like I neglected him? Was he insecure at the slightest bit? What the hell happened, seriously? Did we just drift apart for no particular reason? Was our time up? Was it finally enough? There was no other way to soften this up, our relationship was dying. Six years were a long time to be together, some of the luckier ones might make theirs last forever. We were lucky enough to get six years, but, that was it. Denial has always been my thing even though I knew given the chance I would not exert more of my energy to put up with it any longer. ‘I need to talk to him, I have to.’ That was in the back of my mind and the words were on the tip of my tongue, waiting to be realized to life in front of him. Nevertheless, I resisted, I did not know what stopped me. I guess I was too afraid to face the consequence. I was too much of a coward to let go. I thought I should just wait till I gathered all of the courage that I’d need. Alas, I should have known that the truth was impatient.

Tell me it’s enough.

“Hey!”, his voice was booming in the middle of the café. Funny how I could finally see him turning back to his old self just when I decided to end everything.

 “Hey, have you been waiting long? Sorry, it was hard to find an empty parking slot here.”, I greeted him back as I sat across him. He smiled and shook his head, trying to reassure me that it was okay.

 How could it be okay when I knew it was not?

 For now, it’s enough.

As opposed to his cheerful demeanor that I witnessed earlier, his face was akin to a white sheet right now. Of course, who would not be shocked after your girlfriend asked for a break up out of nowhere.

Was it really out of nowhere though?

The thing was that, he just landed himself a job. I felt happy and ecstatic for him, I really did. I sincerely wanted the best for him. To make this sound less selfish, I would like to put this to another perspective for you. Wouldn’t you be just as conflicted as me, if you found out about your dear boyfriend milestone not through your own boyfriend but through this drunken Instagram story that his friend posted at midnight?

Apparently he was out partying with the other lads to celebrate this momentous event. I mean, I did understand. How could I be so self-centered to make a fuss over someone’s happiness? Believe me, I was not that stuck up. He could party all he wanted, he deserved it. But, in the light of the current downfall of our relationship, this just supported the idea that I already knew yet withheld for some sentimental reason. He did not need me anymore.

I was not about to be a hypocrite and play victim in this story. Honestly, I needed him just as much as he needed me now, which was not so much.

As much as he ignored me, I also neglected him quite a lot too.

As much as he tried to listen to me, I realized my stories would not be as relatable to him as it used to be.

As much as I wanted him to stay, I knew I would not want to do the same.

“It’s been six years, do you think it’s not worth fighting for anymore?”,

“I know what we have is worth it, but the question remains, do you want to keep fighting for it?”

As much as my heart begged for him to refuse, I understood that we both have agreed way before this day had come.

[peachychibi]

loud silence | Johnny

loud silence

Genre: confession!au; college!au | fluff

Member: Johnny / Reader

Word Count: 700+

Warnings: n/a

“My confession did not require an answer, you know?” 

When I was a kid, my mother introduced me to the term; Silence is Golden. It was better to leave things hidden and disguised for not all truths were meant to be revealed. To keep life 'balanced', she said. It all changed in high school. Among other stuffs which I was starting to build my stance on, I started to sink one particular lesson that my mom taught me into the abyss. Silence is golden? Ha, give me a break. How could you get what you want if you never said anything? How could your truth be known if it remained unspoken? Really, now. As I finally get to my last year of college this year, I cannot help but to blame myself for being so naïve. I should have known that change is the only definite variable in life as I find myself unsure of everything that I used to stand for.                                                             ° ° ° The day started out with sunlight warming up your face as you ran to your first morning class. The running was pointless, you were already 15 minutes late. Time seemed to tick a little faster that day, perhaps it was due to the fact that you barely had one second to relax. One class after another, same old routine. That one hour rest you got on mid-afternoon was spent doing homework, the one you had no idea existed. Only God knew just happy you were when the lecturer dismissed the class. Finally, you breathed out. It was amusing, the sunlight was so bright this morning. Giving you a sense of certainty that it would stay the same for the rest of the daytime. Your intuition could not be more wrong though, for the sky was now cloudy with constant drizzle. The thunders came along, too. Signaling a heavy rain to follow sooner than you could bet. You took shelter on your campus gate, avoiding the rain at all cost. It was just your luck you forgot to bring an umbrella that day. You just knew you were going to be stuck for at least an hour. If you were fortunate enough. The sound of rain has always engulfed you in complacency. It was silencing all of the mundane, day-to-day thoughts that you had in your mind. "Looks like rain" You heard a familiar voice sending you out from your self-made trance. "It does look like it", you answered without sparing a glance at him. He did not stand too close for his arm to touch, but he stood close enough for you to feel his warmth radiating your presence. "Ah, why now. Shoo-shoo, rain go away, come back another day" he sing-songed in a childish manner while folding his hands theatrically.

You could help but let out a small chuckle. His joke sucked, but it somehow did its work to melt down the tension. Secretly, you thanked him for breaking the awkwardness. You were probably the only one who felt awkward, a man like him could never. He was a great conversationalist. Unlike you. Well, you were a lot more talkative than him by nature. However, the current circumstance failed to help you act as usual. “Hey,” “Hmm?” “When will you stop avoiding me?” This time you decided to brave yourself into looking at him. For the record, you did not want to avoid him. He did nothing wrong. It was just that.. the slow dance of avoidance and ignorance came naturally for you when you were faced with a difficult or in this case; confusing situation. “I am not, at least not purposely.” You tried to speak while staring right to his eyes, hoping that it would make you look defiant and brave. Yes, you were bravery personified, cowardice had no rights to break your resolution. Deep down you knew just how ridiculous you must have looked like right now. He must have found me funny, but so what.  To your surprise, no single laughter came out from his mouth. Not even a giggle. He just lifted the corner of his lips into a smile. That one particular smile of his, your personal favorite. “Were you overwhelmed by my confession last friday?” How could he just say stuff like that so straightforwardly? This sent your brain into a haywire. How could he, just why, why did he– “My confession did not require an answer, you know?” You looked up to him once again, tilting your head in puzzlement. 

He finally laughed this time, the mirth obvious on his face. “Have you ever noticed just how loud your silence can be?”

Then you felt his fingers slipping through yours, gently tugging you away from the little sanctuary you made.

“Come on, let me take you home.”

notes: this is an old work, apologies for the extra corniness i was possessed ig lol. this was lowkey inspired by passion pit - looks like rain :)  

[peachychibi]

then there were none | Johnny

then there were none

Genre: breakup!au | angst

Member: Johnny / Reader

Warnings: n/a

once there was us, then there were none

If anything, I expected it to be more dramatic.

I found it curious, too. Last December, we were busy making plan for an overseas trip we’d make on April while goofing off in his studio apartment. Without knowing those tickets would just end up be refunded two months into the new year. Rendering the elaborate holiday itinerary we perfected for weeks pointless.

There were no tears shed on the day of our breakup (or even weeks after that).

There was a fight, that much is true. But was it an ugly one? I guess it would be more believable if I had said it was–except for the fact that it was undoubtedly one of the tamest argument we had in the history of our two-year relationship.

If I think back to that night, I guess at one point I spoke too soon and too rudely. It was just a blur, the words I said to him. I had a habit of forgetting my worst side. What I remembered was how his expression changed. From stoic to.. I’m not sure. It was something that I failed to name.

    “Am I that low in your eyes?”

Deep inside I was aware of how insensitive I was acting. It was not right for me to blame him for something that he did not wish upon himself. I mean, who in their right minds would even wish for a less than accomplished life?

  “You know that I only want the best for you”

Lies were told, for reasons even I could not fathom. What was I protecting? His feelings? My ego? Did I lie to ease his emotional distress or to fulfill my sick self interest?

       “Stop lying, can’t you say something real for once?”

If there is one thing that is real between us, is that we are both liars.

It was like we were trapped in a two-way monologue. I felt like a prey stuck involuntarily on a spider-web of discomfort. We listened only to find a loophole in the other’s words.

If no one was making enough effort to try and fix whatever’s broken, why bother?

    “No more lies”

We initially bonded over a sense of similarity, having a huge pride is my vice as well as his. Together, we were running away from being held responsible of resolving the imminent end of something that was once beautiful.

We chose to unsee that something we had had stopped being wonderful for far too long.

   “We’re over”

notes: sorry john

[peachychibi]

petty in pink | #01 | Johnny

petty in pink

Drabble #1 

Genre: breakup-makeup!au (or is it) | comedy, flangst 

Member: Johnny / Reader

Word Count: 1,100+

Warnings: massive jerk moves (not from johnny), nct as adult with jobs™

She couldn’t believe this. Really, honestly, in all seriousness; what the fuck.

The girl never would’ve thought that this turn of event could happen. Sure she was the one who sank the ship, said she needed to be set free as the thing they had going was suffocating her (a complete exaggeration on her part). The point was she was the one who got over the relationship first, sure. But never once it crossed her mind that he would be the one to board onto a new relationship first! Imagine waking up to multiple texts from your best friends, all saying the same thing, one of them even sent the picture of the new lovey-dovey couple in town. They had gone ‘instagram official’ apparently, showing the moderate seriousness of the relationship by millennials’ standard.

Adding a more theatrical flair to the whole situation, her friend even dared to call her as early as 7am, screaming ‘YOUR EX HAS A NEW GIRLFRIEND’ in maximum volume, almost sacrificing her eardrum to deafness in the process.

This put her in a severe bad mood for sure.

***

‘I don’t care, for God’s sake–how many times do I have to say that so you can believe me?’

‘Really? Are you trying to convince us or yourself?’

The girl in question grunted in response. With all due respects, she loves her pals, she really does. It’s just that sometimes they could be such little shits with their false accusation.

She looked up to two pair of eyes, one was looking concerned while the other looked so tired of her bullshit. They all met up after office hour in their usual hang out place, an emergency meeting as one of her friend had put it, cos their youngest was “heartbroken”. Bold of them to assume that! she humphed mentally.

In actuality, she really felt fine? With the current situation?...

Fine, admittedly she was a lot salty since her ex had the audacity to replace her first?! Whatever happened to those cries for two long weeks after their breakup, pleading her to come back and he’d be better and he could never ever feel this way for any other girl in the world. ‘The world may have over seven billion people but there is only one YOU, how can you leave me like this?’ that had been one out of the hundreds corny lines of his. Ha, guess those were fucking lies. It has only been 3 months after the split yet he got himself a new girl in lightning speed.

Her friends kept on probing to get some kind of an admission from her, she knew it. Admitting what? She also had no idea. She was not jealous, not at all. She’s just plenty petty.

‘To be honest tho, the girl seems’, a short pause, ‘too fluffy? You’ve seen her post, right?’

‘True. It’s like she’s already in love with him. Writing such poetic caption, mentioning the stars, the suns and the likes of those were pointing him to her, yadda-yadda.’ her other friend adding fuel to the fire.

She rolled her eyes and scoffed ‘What a match made in heaven, then. Yawn, I’m bored. Tell me another story.’

Laughter ensued on the table as the night rolled on and more petty shades were in order.

***

Looking back to their days together, the end was inevitable. It was crystal clear that they would not last. Keeping up with the relationship for almost two years was just another inevitability in the equation, she justified.

It was a shame that they ended up on bad terms, but then again it was not like she wanted to stay in touch with him either so whatever. To provide a better understanding, the decision was not made impulsively. It has been on the back of her mind for the last three months, she just needed a trigger to put her thought to action.

Her friends said that the trigger was trivial and she did not deny that. The night when she one-sidedly ended their relationship was a bit blurry. She remembered it was Friday, she was wearing her favorite pink coat. As soon as she got to the lobby of her office, Johnny arrived just in time to pick her up with his black SUV. He was playing his self-curated ‘after office drives’ playlist on the stereo, when the rain started pouring he swiftly changed the music to his favorite ‘rainy mood’ playlist. He said it was his favorite since he spent a lot of time perfecting the song choice, the song orders (putting the playlist on shuffle mode was a huge crime for him), not to mention he took the lyrics into accounts as well. To set the mood for rainy days, the songs cannot be too happy-go-lucky, he once said to her. She thought this was a bit of an irony since Johnny was one of the most positive guy she’s ever met. He also would never play his precious ‘rainy mood’ playlist unless the sky was actually raining, he would not even put it on if it was only pouring some light drizzle. At that exact moment, she knew they were over.

At first, this seemed so cute to her. But after two years, it got boring just how predictable he was. It was coming back to her all at once that night, every single habits of his which used to be endearing have now turned boring. The novelties have worn off, what was exciting has gone way too bland for her liking.

When it rained, he played the ‘rainy mood’ playlist. If it was sunny, he would play ‘Here Comes the Sun’ by The Beatles. Every third Saturday of the month he would always take her out to eat at a restaurant near their former high school so that they would never forget the place where they first met (his words). If it was full moon, he’d call her and ask her to watch the moon together.. Okay, granted she never supported this and she literally ridiculed him on the spot the first time he asked this. Yet he still never missed the chance to call and let her know that yes the moon was full that night. God, not only was he a plain vanilla boyfriend, he was super cheesy, too.  

Well, the trigger was superficial nonetheless it still did its work. At a glance, there was nothing out of the norms happening in the car. Johnny was singing along to the song on his playlist, she would sometimes join him. They still conversed about their days at works, too. Him complaining about how the coffee maker in his floor has not been repaired for two weeks. Her complaining about another stupid antics her coworker did that day. All seemed good. Perhaps, this was why he never stopped terrorizing her for explanations post-breakup.

Right after his car parked in front of her house, she dropped the bomb. Doing it as casual as possible, hoping she could pull that aura of nonchalance off.

‘Thanks for the ride, Johnny. By the way, let’s break up.’

notes: i’m sorry?? the story will get better soon, i hope. will update soon!

[peachychibi]

ante merediem | Johnny

ante merediem 

Genre: friends-to-lovers!au, college!au | fluff 

Member: Johnny / Reader

Word Count: 1,600+

Warnings: n/a

The more you looked at the three-year old photograph of yourself on your laptop, the more she looked like a stranger to you. It went behind your comprehension, the smiling girl on the screen was you. There was no doubt about that. The memory of the day when the memento got taken was still vivid in the back of your mind. 

There was a gathering for the freshmen on your year, all majors were invited. High on being a newcomer, you got this unexplainable urge to attend any social activities that the campus offered. The excitement was so palpable back then, you actually thought it would last forever. (Funny, because in reality your socalled excitement did not even last for any more than three months). You got to the event with the friends whom you met just one day before. They were practically strangers with mutual condition as yours. It wasn't like you were provided with any other options anyway, you were basically a mere local immigrant who knew nobody in the new city. 

One of the things you remembered the most from the function happened to be the disappointment of how disastrous it turned out to be. You should have known better though, of course your expectation would be so farfetched from actuality. Who even thought it would be a great idea to plan an outdoor event in the wet monsoon? The air was damp, there were mud all over the field yet the sun was unforgivingly bright. The event was delayed for almost an hour leaving the students drenched in cold sweat. To top it all off the MCs who were supposed to lighten up the show were just as awkward as everyone. Truly an absolute failure.

The picture which you took with your new friends remained as the only keepsake from that day. You stood up from the comfort of your bed to walk to the mirror. The reflection was someone you knew, a short-haired young woman with perpetual dark circles under her eyes. This, this person is familiar. It was baffling how the girl on the picture seemed like a total stranger to you. Was it the hair? The girl had longer hair, wavy black hair cascaded pass the juncture of her shoulder. Her eyes, they looked so hopeful. The gleam in her orbs were visible, captured in the moment. But it was her smile that surprised you the most. It looked so genuine, she--you looked like you were basked in unadulterated happiness. So absurd. It did not make any sense to you now, just how could you manage to find any bit in your heart to pull up a perfect fake smile like that. At least you thought it was fake, it should have been right? 

As you sauntered back to your bed, you saw a flicker of light going on and off on through your peripheral vision. It seemed to come from your phone, the vibrating sound indicating a not-yet answered call. You shuffled to the desk in a hurry, impatient to know who was the person on the other side of the line. It's 2 A.M. for God's sake, who on their right minds would contact you? 

Oh, your heart skipped a little when you read the caller ID. It has been five days since the "realization", as your friends gladly put it, and you found it hard to act normal in front of him. In your defense, slipping out of your own obliviousness was an overwhelming experience. Realizing that you had been in totally-not platonic-love with your best friend for God knew how long gave off a sense of foreign anxiety. 

For a second, you were hesitant to press the green button. A wave of nervousness was opening up the subdued floodgates of emotions within you. Curiosity won over though. As per usual, you could never control yourself when it came to him. He was your best friend after all, random 'morning call' was a normalcy between you two. Why should it be different now? 

'Hello?', you answered in a steady voice. Your inner self cheering quietly at this small win. You would never let him notice just how affected you were by his unexpected call. 

'Hi', a shuffling sound could be heard from his side, it sounded like he just dropped something. Knowing him and his clumsiness, the assumption was likely to be true. He continued when it sounded calmer 'Sorry, I accidentally dropped my glasses, did I wake you up?' 

Ha, I was right after all. Deciding to walk the sassy route, you replied, 'No, you didn't. I'm still awake which is exactly why I can pick up the phone, you see' 

His chortle reverberated through the line, 'Nope, I can't see it. This is a voice call not a video one, you hear?' 

'Wow. Real funny, Johnny. Really. I can barely hold my laughter', you could not hold back your smile this time. 

'When was I ever not funny? I am the funniest man in your life!'

'Oh shut up, John', you groaned. Not long after the exchange of silly banters, you both were smoothly falling into mindless ramble. Conversing with Johnny was easy. You both had quick wit and an ability to jump from one topic to another in the speed of light, there was almost no moment of silence to fill the gap. 

'By the way, did you remember the gathering on our freshmen year?'

'Hmm? The one on the basketball field? It was on our first week of college, wasn't it?', he answered correctly. 

'Yeah, that exact one! I'm impressed, you've got good memory.' 

He snorted, 'Duh, of course I do. What about it, anyway?' 

You were going to describe that certain day but he beat you to it, 

'I even remembered that it was the day where we first met. I bet you forgot that fact already, right?' 

Thrown off guard, you were. Now that you think about it, Johnny was the one who took your photograph from that day. 

Shit. 

How could you be so dense? That day turned out to be not shitty at the end. You remembered a tall guy in denim shirt, confidently (and randomly) throwing a witty remark in your conversation—or more like a soliloquy consisting of whines and nags about the event—'I agree this is a shitshow. Why are we even here anyway.' Not gonna lie, you were judging him hard at that time. 

'Oh God. How could I forget you? You were the weird stranger who jumped on another stranger convos.', you opened the forgotten laptop on your bed to see the picture again. 

He squawked indignantly 'Hey! You were the shameless girl with no sense of public decency. Your hateful commentary was not very graceful either.' 

You did not really pay any heed to his words because once again you were curious about the picture. 'I only had literally one remembrance from that horrible gathering and it was a picture which was taken by you.' 

'Which one? Send it to me, I wanna see it' he demanded.

'I'll send you okay, chill.' You logged in to your messenger to send it to him. 'The weird thing from the photo is that I looked unrealistically happy ' 

He laughed 'That's morbid, what the fuck. What's wrong with being happy—Wait I just got the picture.' 

There was a five second silence before he continued 'Well, you did look genuinely happy in it.' 

'I know right? This is so weird because we all know just how shitty that gathering was.' 

He hummed in response 'Perhaps..' 

His words lingered and honestly your lack of sleep did not have time for this unnecessary pause. 'Perhaps what, John?' 

'Well, perhaps you smiled like that because of me' 

It would have been funny, you could have laughed at his words. Hell, you could entertain him by saying how he had been right. Of course, Johnny-honey. You brightened up my day! 

However you just could not bring yourself to joke along. Somehow you sensed that something.. something was off. He was uncharacteristically serious. It even seemed that he was hesitant to say it, as if he was scared of your reaction yet at the same time, he sincerely anticipated it. 

The time gap has been way too long now, none of you dared to say anything. It felt like tip-toeing around a ticking bomb, you both were one second away before the eventual awkwardness. 

You took a glimpse at the clock on the wall, it was currently way past 3 A.M. Maybe your sleep deprivation pushed you to making a rash decision or there was a glitch in your system. 

‘I think so, too.’ you finally breathed out the long overdue answer. 

It was eerily silent, your reply sounded like a hush of wind. You were not even sure he listened to it at all. You hoped he did, though.

‘…You do?’, there was a hint of shock in his voice.. but it did not have an unpleasant tone in it. In contrary, he sounded thoroughly pleased by your answer ‘You really, truly do?’

You were pretty sure by now that he was clearly overjoyed, he sounded like a hyper puppy. Weird comparison, you brain that was wired for linguistic fluency has apparently went fried. 

‘Yeah’ you tried so hard to stop your smile. Biting your lips, hiding your excitement—and failing. 

He suddenly cracked up, it was the infamous boisterous laugh of his, contagious. You ended up laughing with him as well. It was all silly, the situation was all kinds of ridiculous. What were you both even laughing about, your own stupidity? 

The laughter died out not long after, you wept off a tear from your eye. A consequence you had to face due to uncontrollable guffaws. 

‘I’m glad, then.’ He said, ‘Going to that damned gathering was one of the best decisions I made, honestly.’ 

‘Why? ‘Cos you got to meet me?’ you teased him. 

He chuckled, ‘Yeah’ 

‘Okay, then.’ 

‘Just okay?’ 

‘More than okay.’