peabrain12-blog

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David Bowie talks about the internet in 1999

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Chocolate Chip Cookie Brownie Pie

Really nice recipes. Every hour.

Show me what you cooked!

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OMFGGGGGGG IM DEAD 😂😂😂😂

I’m fucking dead

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Welp…

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A little bit of background before I get into the petty revenge. I’m a dancer at a strip club in Florida. It’s a small club in a relatively conservative area, so it’s pretty tame compared to a lot of other places. It’s more of a bikini bar as we must keep our bottoms on and our nipples covered with tape or tassels at all times under penalty of losing our job (which I’m OK with). In the past few years strip clubs have become more mainstream and popular with all types of people – not just the clichéd perverted old men (although we definitely still get those guys). We regularly host bachelorette parties, couples, groups of women, and groups of couples come in to enjoy the show. We even get middle-aged couples (they’re always the most fun and surprisingly accepting to the scene). 

For the most part, the women are pretty cool with being surrounded by half-naked strippers, and enjoy hanging out with us, and we’re happy to have them there. MOST of them….not all. We get the occasional girlfriend or wife who comes in with a ‘holier than thou’ attitude who just sits there and scowls at everyone. Clearly she was dragged in against her will and wants to show her displeasure by trying to ruin the night for everyone. If you try to make conversation with them, they make passive-aggressive remarks putting you and your profession down. That’s fine. Dancers have to have tough skin and lots of confidence, so we usually just go to the dressing room and laugh about how insecure the girl is.

For those of you who aren’t familiar with how most strip clubs are set up, here is a brief explanation. Most have a bar right when you walk in so you can grab a drink. There is typically a stage with a dancer on it either in the middle of the club, or running along one wall. Generally, the closer to the stage you sit, the more open you are to talking to girls and getting private dances. The stage will have chairs around it which is called ‘the tip rail’. At the tip rail you have a very close view of the women on stage, but it is heavily implied that you must tip the dancer to sit there. At my club, there are about a dozen chairs around the stage. When a dancer receives a tip at the tip rail, she normally does something a little extra for the guy. If it’s a dollar or two I just let them stick it in my G-string. If it’s $5-$10 I’ll motorboat, or shake my butt. 

If it’s $10-$15 I’ll wrap my thighs around their neck and jiggle the lady bits. Anything over $15 I’ll climb off the stage and give them a 30 second lap dance. If a douchebag sits at the tip rail and tips nothing, then I will completely ignore them. An additional note: if you’re sitting at the tip rail, and all the chairs around the tip rail are full, and the club is packed your ass had better be tipping generously, because if you’re just sitting there taking up space from someone who would otherwise be tipping, then you’re essentially taking money out of my pocket. It’s truly frustrating, but we can’t really say anything about it because tipping at the tip rail is only heavily implied, not required.

Here is where the petty revenge comes into play. Every once in a while one of those scowling, angry women sits at the tip rail –usually with the boyfriend or group of friends who are having a GREAT time – and doesn’t tip a single dollar. Her friends are usually tipping, but she will just sits there, arms crossed, pissed off and bitter. For the longest time my reaction to these women would be just to ignore them just like I do with non-tipping men. Then I mentioned it to a co-worker about how annoying these girls are because they bring down the mood of the night, and don’t tip when they should be. She told me I’m taking the wrong approach in ignoring them. Next time it happens, treat the girl like she tipped $15 – wrap your legs around her neck and stick your crotch right in her face. 

So I did. The next time a pissy girl came in and sat at the tip rail during a busy night and didn’t tip, I SHOWERED the girl with attention: boobs in her face, ass jiggling, thighs wrapping around her neck, pussy in the face, the whole nine yards despite her not tipping a single dollar. This is what happened: the guys LOVED it and threw TONS of money on the stage because, hey, girl –on –girl. The woman? Madder than hell, but unable to do anything about it because she’s sitting at the tip rail and I’m just doing my job. In addition, I’m the one smiling having a great time while she looks like a curmudgeon. It’s a win-win for me. I now do this on a regular basis with almost the exact same results each time: I make more money, and at the same time piss off someone who clearly looks down upon my job.

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White scifi fans are like, “I wanna fuck this space lizard, I wanna fuck this robot, omg this non humanoid is super hot” and 5 seconds later say “I’m just not attracted to Black people, that doesn’t make me racist. :)”

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!!!!!!DONT LET THIS GO UNNOTICED!!!!!!

All Three Major News Networks Ignored Bernie Sanders’ Speech Tuesday Night, To Show Empty Trump Podium

As Bernie Sanders took the stage on Tuesday night, the cable networks continued doing what they do best – talking.

Fox News, CNN and MSNBC all declined to carry Sanders’ speech, instead offering jokes about the evening while showing live coverage of Trumps empty podium while promising that we were all, “AWAITING TRUMP” and “STANDING BY FOR TRUMP.“ 

In Fact: EVERY OTHER CANDIDATE HAD AIR TIME EXCEPT FOR SANDERS

As if these stations couldn’t get any more corrupt, The Huffington Post’s Michael Calderone reported that the media have collectively given Trump some $2 billion worth of free air time.

Don’t be fooled by the media ya’ll. You can watch his incredible speech here & remember You ARE his media

Source

#StayWoke #FeelTheBern

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Gina made me call people and tell them she was dead to see how they’d react.

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If someone isn't available during your most crucial time, then their presence any other time is useless.

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(x)

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The bra of the future is here — and we need it 

Introducing the Knix Wear Evolution Bra. At the time of writing, the bra has gathered $117,519 on Kickstarter from 1,492 backers, and still has 30 days to go. Which is great considering the more money raised, the more everyone will benefit.

Follow stylemic

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Watch: Naturally, Lexi has big dreams for herself.

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cutthroat kitchen

alton: we’re making tacos today

3 chefs: i didn’t grab tortillas!!!!!

chef 4: im italian and my family never ate tortillas so im wrapping it in lasagna noodles and instead of salsa im using tomato sauce with garlic

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