pattonly-perfect-in-every-way

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Love how tumblr has its own folk stories. Yeah the God of Arepo we’ve all heard the story and we all still cry about it. Yeah that one about the woman locked up for centuries finally getting free. That one about the witch who would marry anyone who could get her house key from her cat and it’s revealed she IS the cat after the narrator befriends the cat.

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

So... I found this and now it keeps coming to mind. You hear about "life-changing writing advice" all the time and usually its really not—but honestly this is it man.

I'm going to try it.

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Hot take: Actual literary analysis requires at least as much skill as writing itself, with less obvious measures of whether or not you’re shit at it, and nobody is allowed to do any more god damn litcrit until they learn what the terms “show, don’t tell” and “pacing” mean.

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

one of the attorneys at work just walked into another one's office and I faintly heard him go "is that a SKELETON?"

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

The Robot Apocalypse came. Cities are empty, you stayed since you’re almost out of insulin and will die soon anyway. The robots find you and while processing you one of them sees your insulin pump and asks if you want to apply for dual citizenship, since the pump technically makes you a cyborg.

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Send Me Prompts!!!

In honor of thus blog reaching 100 followers, I'd like to write something for you guys! Shoot me a prompt and I'll do my best to write something that fulfills it! Be as vague or as specific as you'd like!

And thanks for all the support y'all! 💙💙💙

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

The Disney Quiz

Summary: It’s Roman’s turn to plan family game night. Things don’t really turn out the way he expected them to. One-shot.

Pairings: Familial LAMP/CALM

Warnings: Food mention. If I missed something let me know, and I’ll make sure to add it!

Word Count: 1143

Roman scribbles in his notebook, drawing a large line through the middle of his latest idea for tonight’s game night. Glancing at the top of the list, he sees the only idea he has yet to reject. A Disney Quiz! The only problem; if Roman writes the quiz, he can’t play. And Roman really, really wants to play.

Suddenly Roman knows exactly how to solve his dilemma. Grabbing his notebook, he runs to Logan’s room. “Logan!” Roman calls as he barges through the door. “I need your genius!” Logan jumps and nearly falls out of his chair, glasses shifting to haphazardly sit on his nose. Clearly ruffled, Logan glares and takes a moment to settle back into his chair and fix his glasses. Roman taps his foot and waits for him to finish.

“Roman, I do not have time for your antics. This had better be important.”

“Why of course it is, Microsoft Nerd! Everything I do is important!” Roman grins as Logan sighs and turns back to his work. “No, wait! I really do need your help.” Logan turns back and nods his head. Taking that as permission to go on, Roman jumps into his explanation. “You see, tonight is my turn to run game night, and I had the brilliant idea of a Disney trivia game! The only problem is, if I write the questions then I can’t play. Would you write them? Pretty please?” Roman puts both hands together and swoops down onto one knee in a grand, pleading gesture. Seeing Logan roll his eyes, he believes all is lost. But then a strange look comes over Logan’s face, and he nods. A little concerned, but nevertheless pleased, Roman sweeps Logan into a princess hold and spins him around.

“Roman! Put me down or I will take back my assent!” Roman drops Logan back into his chair and sweeps out of the room. Just before the door closes he says, “Have them ready for tonight please!”

.o0O0o.

“Roman, kiddo! It’s time for game night!” Roman grabs all of the decorations he had carefully prepared and sprints down the stairs, nearly running into Patton who was turning to head back into the living room. “Careful kiddo!” Roman hears Patton call after him. “We don’t want the empire to fall!” Ignoring the joke, Roman gets to the living room and conjures up a desk for Logan and three podiums, each with a buzzer. He starts hanging up the name plates he had painstakingly made by hand, wanting them to be perfect. And besides, this way Patton could keep them. He’s sentimental like that. He hangs the banner he made over where Logan will be sitting and surveys his work.

Logan walks in, and Roman watches as he looks over the set up. “Roman, while everything looks great, only you and Virgil will be participating. I have asked Patton to assist me in running the game. And I believe he is also still trying to finish the snacks he is making for the halfway point.”

“Why did you ask our beloved Padre and not our resident panic attack?”

“I believe Patton to be more impartial than Virgil, as he, and I quote, ‘wants both his kiddos to win so bad that I will make sure they aren’t cheating!’” Logan says Patton’s words in such a deadpan that Roman can’t help but start laughing. He watches Logan roll his eyes and take his seat at the table Roman had provided. Logan sets his laptop out in front of himself and then pulls out his book to read. Roman figures he’ll read until the quiz starts, though he wonders why Logan needs his computer.

Just then Patton bounces in with an morose looking Virgil behind him. “Sorry I’m not playing kiddo! I wouldn’t want to get burnt out!” Patton gestures at the kitchen where whatever snack he’s making is in the oven. Roman rolls his eyes as Patton bounces into the kitchen.

Logan clears his throat and begins speaking. “The game I developed has two rounds. In the first, I will ask ten Disney-related questions. You will have one minute to write down your answer for each question. If you get it right you get a point. Speed does not matter, as this is about what you can remember, not about how fast you can remember it. In the second round I will play excerpts from songs in Disney movies. You can earn two points each song, one for the title and one for the movie it’s from.”

Then they start the game. Roman starts strong and gets the first three questions right. But so does Virgil. And as the quiz progresses, they’re still tied. At the end of the first round they both had ten points. Roman hated to admit it, but Virgil really did know Disney.

But if Roman knew one thing and one thing only, it was that he knew Disney music better.

The first round ends with a tie. Roman pumps himself up mentally. There’s no way he could lose in the second round. It’s about music! Roman loves Disney music. Munching on one of the cookies Patton baked, Roman knows there’s no way he can lose.

Until he does.

“WHAT! THAT CAN’T BE RIGHT!” Roman screeches as Logan announces the final score.

“I’m afraid it is, Roman. I don’t know why you doubt my scorekeeping. Virgil beat you by one point.”

“But it’s a Disney quiz! How could- this doesn’t make any sense- unless!” Roman can hear Virgil snickering in the background. Logan is disinterestedly reading his book again. Roman sprints over to where Logan is sitting, jerking the laptop around to face himself and rereading all of the questions. And that’s when he sees it. “Logan, how dare you! I trusted you to write the questions and you rigged the game!” Logan looks up at Roman, who spots the barest of smirks on Logan’s face.

“I’m afraid you are incorrect, Roman. The probability of me doing something so dishonorable is… infinitesimal.” Logan finishes speaking and disappears into his room. Roman gapes at where Logan was standing. He looks up to see Virgil laughing so hard tears are streaming down his face and messing up his eyeshadow. Roman looks at Patton  who is at least attempting to not laugh by hiding his mouth behind his hands. But pretty soon he’s laughing too, and the sound of two of the people he most cares about laughing soon sets Roman off as well.

Looking at his famILY, Roman realizes that the smiles on the faces of Patton and Virgil are well worth relinquishing his title as the King of Disney. Though that didn’t mean he would let Logan off the hook. He’ll have to find some way to get him back. But for right now he would just sit back and laugh.

A/N: I hope y’all are enjoying this bout of inspiration and the resulting one-shots, cause I sure am! Let me know if you’d like to be added to my taglist (general or for specific AU’s- anything goes. If I don’t already have one for that AU I’ll make one! Just specify what you’d like). And if you have any ideas for one-shots that you’d like written, send them my way! I’d love to do some requests. Message or ask, here or to @a-lexicon-of-words. Whatever is easiest! And remember, you guys are all unique and fantastic, and if you ever need to talk I’m always willing to listen!

Taglist:

@rainbow-sides

@sylveon-lover-crazyfangirl1415

@thats-so-crash

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

I loved working on this collab with @sylveon-lover-crazyfangirl1415! I hope y’all enjoy the fic we wrote together! 

In Pieces

Ladies lord and non binary royalty! finally after almost 4 hours of writing and non stop working we have done it @pattonly-perfect-in-every-way and I have worked on an amazing collab and I couldn’t be prouder with how it turned out. she was amazing to work with and bounce ideas off of. It was a pleasure to work with you and hopefully (who am I kidding we probably will collab again in the future)we will work again on a new piece together. so credits go to them for helping and creating this wonderful piece of art. So without further delay here it the amazing fic we created :) 💚💜🐉

warnings:

description of injury, memory loss, deceit as a villain, deceit is a a** miscommunication, blood mention heartbreak, anxiety attack, deceitful actions self-deprecation 

if you see anything we missed let us know and we’ll add them :)

word count: 3024

Pairings: none or platonic LAMP if ya squint

Virgil hated this feeling of being all alone again. He finally felt love and acceptance from all the others, well, almost all the others. He had finally let down some of the walls he had built up for many years and he was genuinely happy.

Then all of sudden it was a like a switch flipped in the others; they become more closed off, curt and downright rude to him. Some of them, he wasn’t gonna name any names, but Roman refused to speak to him and he refused to even acknowledge Virgil’s presence. In fact, he would go out of his way to make it known that he was ignoring Virgil, which was very childish and immature of him. Virgil thought that Roman and him solved all of this beef and let it go. Clearly Roman hadn’t let all of the past things he had done or said to him go like he said he did. Roman need to grow up and stop being so petty, it was one of the few unprincely traits the royal had. Normally he could deal with Roman being a brat since he would go and hang out with the others until Princey calmed down a bit. But he couldn’t do that this time. The others were just as mad.

Virgil wished he knew why they were mad at him. He could deal with Roman and Logan being asses but Patton, his Pops, his only companion some days, refused to even hug him. Patton was the only one Virgil felt comfortable enough around to hug when he was emotional, since Logan would act like he was Virgil’s therapist, making lists of all of Virgil’s “symptoms” and coming up with the best ways to “treat” them.  Normally he wouldn’t mind since that was what helped Virgil when he was really anxious, but when he was emotional it felt like he was one of Logan’s tests subjects instead of family.

If he went to Roman… well, he was self explanatory. He always wanted to fight and kill whatever was making him sad or defeat whomever was the cause of what made Virgil upset. Unfortunately there wasn’t often something to fight or slay, so Roman wasn’t that much of help.

But Patton? Patton just had a way of making you feel understood, loved, and cared about when he hugged you.

You always knew Patton was angry when he wouldn’t hug.

Patton had even stopped leaving dinner out for him, only feeding the other two and himself.   Virgil didn’t know what he had done to deserve this treatment, but whatever it was, he never wanted to do it again. Virgil hugged himself as he sat on the floor in his room, feeling more alone than he had in a long time. He had thought that this feeling was never going to happened again; he’d even voiced this worry to the others multiple times, and they had often reassured him that they would be there for him no matter what. Even if one of them or more of them were upset they would always make time for him when he really needed it.

Clearly none of that mattered now. He was drowning in his swirling thoughts, wondering what he had done and what he could do to fix the situation. He started rocking back and forth, which was  one of the techniques Logan had taught him to ground himself when he was going to have an anxiety attack. What was it that Logan said? He tried to think of the technique when the slimiest,  of voices spoke loud enough to get through Virgil’s panicky haze.

“Glad to ssssee that you look as fabuloussss as alwaysss Virgil. Having the bessst time of your life, I presume? Jussst by looking at you I can tell everything is jussst peachy.” Deceit smirked while leaning against Virgil’s door frame nonchalantly.  Suddenly he stood up properly, his entire demeanor changed. He was giddy, yet furious at the same time. Virgil didn’t know what to make of the sudden mood change. “Poor baby feelsss all alone again. Let me guessss, your preciousss family left you in the dirt.  You shouldn’t have left me in the dussst now Virgy. You know what happensss when someone leavesss me and double crosses to the enemy side. You saw what I did to the othersss. Now it’s your turn to pay the price.”  Since Deceit  started speaking, Virgil had started to get more of a grip on reality, finally able to think without the anxious haze.

The sudden clarity helped all of  the pieces start to make more and more sense. And then it clicked.

“You… YOU DID THIS TO ME! WHAT DID YOU DO? WHY DO THEY HATE ME AGAIN?” Virgil raised his voice in anguish and tried to stand up. He was still too woozy though, so he just sat there trying to catch his breath. He was so angry he could spew venom, but he needed focus on catching his breath so he could regain his strength.

“Of course I tricked them! And in all honesssty I don’t know what you sssee in thossse pathetic people you call ‘family’. It wasssn’t even that hard to do. You would think for the ‘good’ sidesss it would be a lot harder to manipulate their feelingsss, but no. It was ssso easssy.” Deceit checked his claw-shaped nails to see if they were dirty. “The stick-in-the-mud was the easiessst to trick. All it took wasss a few sssmall ‘falsehoodsss’ that  came across like fact for him to believe that you think you’re smarter than him. The dad? Ha! More like the dunce. He wasssn’t so hard either, more ssswayed by those ssstupid, irrational, emotionss than he caresss to admit. A few quipsss on how much you despised his cooking and thought that he wasssn’t a good enough father figure were enough to push him over the edge as well. Ha! Such a family you have. And  that idiot that fanciesss himself a Prince? I didn’t even have to sssay anything to him. All it took wasss Logan and Patton telling him what you “did” and he hated you all over again.” What annoyed Virgil the most was how Deciet was talking about hurting his family as if it were dinner table conversation. They were his family and they had feelings. God damn it, how dare that snake face hurt his family and blame Virgil! He wasn’t always the bad guy but Deceit made him out to be a monster and the villian. “Now I must go! Tah tah, I wish you all the best in your merriment!” And like the coward he truly is, Deceit took the opportunity to slink out Virgil’s door.

The long-winded speech helped Virgil to finally gather enough energy to go after Deceit. “Get back here you lying fucking coward! And face the problem you made!” Virgil was still shaky after his panic attack but he chased that rat all the way to the stairs. “GET BACK HERE!”

They reached the stairs one right after the other. Virgil, panting and dizzy, grabbed Deceit by his collar and pushed him against the banister. “I… I would push you down the stairs if I could… But I am far better person than you are and ever will be! Patton and the others would never condone me pushing you down the stairs.” Virgil spat, letting go of Deceit, but Deceit didn’t let go of him. Instead he pulled Virgil closer and turned them around so Virgil was teetering at the edge of the stairs. One wrong move and he’d fall down the entire flight of stairs, and and it was a long way down.

“Ahh but that’sss your missstake. You are the better perssson in thisss situation, which will make doing this ssso much more sssatisfying!” Deceit smiled, and before Virgil could grasp anything to keep himself from falling, Deceit whispered, “Enjoy being the bigger person Virgil. I hope it’sss worth the end resssult.” And with that, Deceit let go of Virgil and gave him a hard shove. And with an evil laugh whipped his cape in a dramatic fashion and walked away.

Virgil screamed as his head hit the first stair, and then the next. His screams echoed in his head and he could feel a warm liquid start dripping down his face. His last thoughts before blacking out was of his famILY, and of how proud they were going to be that he didn’t hurt anyone. And of their reaction to seeing what he’d look like when they found him lying at the bottom of the stairs.

**********

Patton was having very bad day. Logan and Roman were acting much more frustrated than normal, and he couldn’t go to Virgil to talk about it because Virgil didn’t think he was a good father figure. Then again, Patton couldn’t really remember where that idea had come from. He didn’t remember Virgil saying it to him, or one of the others relaying the message. Now concerned, Patton started to think about why Roman and Logan were upset. Something just wasn’t adding up and he realised that he needed to call for a family meeting.

“Roman? Logan?” Patton called out. “Can you kiddos come into the kitchen for a minute?”

“What do you need Padre? I’m trying to rehearse my lines.” Roman said, sighing as he walked into the room.

“Yes, Patton. What is so important that I must waste valuable research time? There are still many subjects that I need to better understand, and I need all of the time I can get.” Logan entered just behind Roman as he spoke, his face pinched in frustration.

“Kiddos, remind me why we’re mad at Virgil?”

Roman was the first to speak, his hands flailing wildly and his face very annoyed. “How could you forget, Padre? He insulted your cooking and called you a bad dad! And he insulted Logan’s intelligence! And while I’d like to agree with him that Logan isn’t the smartest, he didn’t have to do it in such a mean way! I thought we were past all of the spiteful comments, but apparently not.” Roman humphed and crossed his arms.

“I, as much as it pains me to admit, have to agree with Roman. Except when it comes to my intelligence. Virgil had no right to claim that he…” Bored, Patton waited for Logan to stop his rant about how smart he was before he started to talk again. After a few minutes, he finally had his chance.

“But kiddo, did Virgil say those exact words to you? Or did you just assume? Because now that I think about it, I can’t actually remember him saying anything bad about me to, well, me.” Patton frowned as he finished his sentence, the guilt hitting him like a ton of bricks.

“I…” Logan started, trailing off in thought. “I honestly can’t recollect anything either, Patton.” Roman suddenly looked very flustered, turning as red as his sash.

“But he had to have! It’s Virgil! Of course he would go back to being negative–”

“– But that’s the thing kiddo! He wouldn’t! He’s changed! And we just assumed hadn’t, reverting back to his old ways and let ourselves believe he wasn’t famILY, but he is!” Patton’s speech came screeching to a halt as he realised something. If Virgil hadn’t said those things, then it had to have been the only Side capable of making you believe things that weren’t true so easily. Patton suddenly felt lightheaded. How could he have let Deceit turn him against his dark, strange son? Maybe Deceit was actually right. He was a horrible father figure figment. Shaking his head to help himself focus on the present issue, Patton looked at Roman and Logan. “It had to have been Deceit.”

Logan and Roman paled simultaneously, but before they could speak they all heard a scream come from the direction of the stairs. They all turned to the sound and started running, scared about what that scream meant.

Rounding the corner, Patton spotted something he had hoped he would never see. His kiddo, his son, was unmoving on the ground at the bottom of the stairs. His leg was at an unnatural angle that looked painful. There was blood everywhere. Patton stopped in his tracks, feeling Logan and Roman bump into him from behind. Roman peeked out from behind Patton and  let out a piercing scream, promptly passing  out with Logan catching him as he fell. Logan dropped Roman to the ground unceremoniously and sprinted to Virgil, slightly shoving Patton as he passed. Patton sprinted over too, trying to do something, anything to help his son. He watched as Logan checked Virgil’s pulse and breathing, sighing in relief as Logan relaxed a bit. That meant Virgil must still be alive. But logans next words struck Patton to his core and made him more scared than he had ever been in his life.

‘Patton, Patton, listen to me. It’s okay. The blood is coming from his head. It explains why there’s so much of it.” Patton shuddered and tried not to look around at all the blood. His kiddo needed him to be strong. “The way his leg is bent I’m sure it’s broken. I can help that too.”  Patton glanced at Logan, feeling like there was something wrong, something that Logan wasn’t telling him. Before he could ask, however, Logan spoke up again. “I’m just worried about the possible concussion. And him not being conscious has me worried too. All I know is that he can tell us what happened if, of course, he wakes up.”

“If? What do you mean by if?” Patton was straight up panicking now.

“Patton, sometimes people who hit their heads like Virgil has don’t wake up.”

“What do you mean don’t wake up? Virgil has to wake up! I have to tell him I’m sorry! Logan, I can’t have the last thing I said to him be hurtful! I couldn’t live with myself Logan, if I hurt my son.” Patton feels his breath quicken. “Logan, I told him I hated him! This is all my fault. I told him I hated him and now he’s hurt and it’s all my fault and–”

“–Patton! If you can’t calm down you need to step into the other room. Your agitated state is worsening Virgil!” As if on cue Virgil started coughing violently. Patton paled.

“You’re right. I’m sorry Lo.” Patton focused on his breathing, using one of the techniques he used to help Virgil when he was anxious. Virgil… what would Patton do if Virgil never woke up?

**********

“AGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!” Virgil came back to awareness with a scream. He was in so much pain he couldn’t focus on anything but the pain. He knew he heard voices, but he didn’t recognize any of them. He tried cowering in fear, but any kind of movement made the pain intensify and he screeched even louder. Virgil opened his eyes to see two figures over top of him. One was a man in a black shirt, and the other a man with a cat sweater around his neck. Who were these people and why were they staring at him? New people always freaked him out and they were super close in his personal space.

The man with the cat hoodie spoke. “Virgil, kiddo, I’m so glad you’re okay! I was so worried about you and I didn’t know if you would ever wake up and I feel horrible because of all the mean things I’ve said to you and–”  

“–Who’s this Virgil? And who are YOU!?!? I DON’T KNOW A VIRGIL. AND I DEFINITELY HAVEN’T SEEN YOU EVER BEFORE IN MY LIFE!” If someone’s heart could break, Virgil witnessed it right then and there. The man in the cat hoodie deflated so quickly Virgil couldn’t help but compare him to a leaky balloon. Virgil thought he saw a shine of tears on the man’s face before he quickly jumped up and sprinted out of the room. If he didnt know the man why did his heart do a weird pitter patter when he saw him hurting? He had so many questions and he attempted to go after the cat man. But the movement  made him scream out in pain and all thought of following was gone. All he could feel was immense pain and anguish to the point of being overwhelming. “AGHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!” His face contorted in pain and frustration. Who was he, and more importantly who are these strange people? How did they know him?the man in the black shirt looked like he wanted to follow the cat man but he stayed by Virgil’s head instead. The man reached to touch Virgil’s head,but not knowing who the man was Virgil moved away from the hand, wincing as he did. The man sighed.

“I know you don’t know who we are. And I’m sorry that this is all probably very confusing. But you just broke Patton’s heart. And that’s not an easy thing to do.”

Unable to listen to anymore,  Virgil sank out and disappeared to hide somewhere quiet where he could tend to his wounds in peace.

**********

Deceit watched as this series of unfortunate of events happened very, very pleased. It turned out so much better than he could have ever hoped! He made the angsty emo forget who he was. And it was the perfect opportunity to have a do-over. He could have Virgil all to himself if he played his cards right, and judging by his reactions of the others that wouldn’t be hard to do. The chances were finally in his favor; he could have his little demon back and there would be more chaos than ever before. He would finally destroy everyone’s happiness, including Patton’s.   Especially Patton’s, the dolt didn’t deserve happiness. He would crush Virgil in front of Patton’s eyes. Patton watching that would be damaged for an eternity. And, as an added bonus, Deceit was sure that Patton’s  heart would break into a million pieces. A million shattered pieces that could never be put back together. 

again thanks goes out to the talented @pattonly-perfect-in-every-way for working with me. I had so much fun and I can only hope you did too. So give them a follow! I hope u all enjoyed reading as we do creating it!!!

tags: 

@thegremlinprince @ironwoman359 @itsme98z @eye-of-terrific @rainbow-sides @thats-so-crash @alextheodd @dementeddracon @cats-with-blogs @altruistic-skittles

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

If you have a taglist, can you add me to it?

Of course! Consider yourself added :)

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Gifts

Summary:  Virgil gets a gift basket every holiday. But it isn’t until the others accept him that he realizes that the gift-giver isn’t getting any gifts...

Parings: Platonic LAMP/CALM

Warnings: Food mention, miscommunication, talk of insecurities. Let me know if I missed anything and I’ll add it in!

Word Count: 947

For as long as Virgil could remember, there had been a basket of treats left outside of his door at each holiday. Valentine's brought heart-shaped boxes of chocolate. A basket of eggs filled with small treats at Easter. It didn't matter the holiday; there was always something there. Before the others accepted him he'd spend the days locked in his room, sneakily grabbing the basket of treats at some point during the day. Virgil had convinced himself that Patton didn't actually care. That he was only doing it because he was Morality, and it was the “right” thing to do.

But now Virgil feels accepted by others, and holidays are spent watching rom-coms or having Disney movie marathons with the others. The baskets haven't changed though. They're always there, bright and early. Right in front of his door when he wakes up. And now that he's spending more time with Patton, Virgil has noticed that candies he doesn't like are being replaced with ones he does like, as Patton finds out about these preferences.

The changes in candy aren't the only thing Virgil is noticing now that he's actually in the common area during holidays. Virgil had found red candy wrappers shoved down the side of the couch. But he always thought they were something Roman had gotten himself.

Bang! Bang! Bang!

Virgil jumps awake, both feet on the floor and ready to run from the noise. Where had the banging come from. Virgil searches his room for something he could use as a weapon, but nothing is within reach. About to panic, Virgil stops when he hears a voice from the other side of his door.

“Virgil, kiddo? Are you awake? It’s time for breakfast!” Virgil sighs in relief, realizing now that the banging from before was just Patton knocking on his door to wake him up.

“I’ll be right out, Pat!” He yells, grabbing his hoodie off the back of the chair where he’d laid it just before he went to sleep. Slipping it over his head he opens his door. As his head makes it through the hole he sees a plastic wrapped basket on the floor just outside his door. Virgil picks it up and sees a card looped through the string used to tie the plastic closed.

Happy Easter, Kiddo! The card reads. I hope you have an “egg”-cellent day! Virgil chuckled to himself at the pun and examined the contents of the basket. It was filled to the brim with plastic eggs in various shades of purple and black. Picking up one of them he opens it to find some chocolate candy. Virgil turns back to his room and stashes the basket underneath his desk so he could open the rest of the eggs later.

Later that day, Virgil was sitting on the couch in the middle of the mindspace listening to music and absent-mindedly eating the chocolate Patton had given him. Suddenly Roman walks into the room, a partially unwrapped piece of candy in his hand. Virgil pulls out one of his earphones and asks, “Patton gave you a basket too?”

“Of course he did, Panic! At the Everywhere!” Roman says. “He gives us all a basket every year. He would always leave one outside your door too, even though you never came out. Logan always pretends to hate his, citing the possible health issues caused by eating too much chocolate, but the pile of dark blue wrappers in the kitchen’s trash tells me a different story.” Virgil rolls his eyes both at Logan’s antics and at Roman’s unnecessary hand motions. Shrugging in acknowledgment, Virgil goes back to listening to the music coming from his headphones.

Suddenly struck by a thought, Virgil pulls one headphone out and turns to face the creative Side again. “Hey, Roman?” he asks.

“Yes, my storm cloud of a friend?”

“Does Patton ever make himself a basket?” Roman takes a second to answer, clearly trying to think of the answer.

“I… no. I don’t think I’ve ever seen him with a basket.” Roman looks down at the partially unwrapped chocolate in his hand and looks sadder than Virgil has ever seen him. But only for a moment because in the next second he’s looking up at Virgil with his bright grin. “Let’s make Patton a basket! We can make everything light blue and get all of his favorite chocolates! Though we should probably include Logan too…” The rest of Roman’s words trail off into quiet mumbles as he thinks to himself.

Virgil feels Roman grab his arm and start dragging him to Logan’s room. And suddenly Virgil knows that it’s going to be a very, very long night.

After hours of work (mainly because Roman could never be happy with mediocre work for their Padre!) they finally had a finished basket. They had gotten some of Pat’s favorite chocolate, thanks to Logan’s very detailed list of all of the Sides’ favorite things. (Of course Logan had a list for that, Logan loves lists). Roman had woven the basket himself, and he had made it light blue and then tied purple, dark blue, and red ribbons on it. Virgil had filled it with eggs from each of their baskets, and then he’d also made a card. He had drawn a picture of their FamILY on the outside, and on the inside he wrote simply,  For our “egg”-squisite Dad!

Virgil grabbed the finished basket and walked to Patton’s door, placing it gently and the ground.

The next morning he would awaken to a shrieking Patton. They would spend the whole day together, as a FamILY. And now, every holiday, Patton gets a basket too.

Taglist:

@rainbow-sides

@sylveon-lover-crazyfangirl1415

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Cereal

Summary: Another Sander Sides Human!AU. This time based on this post that @rainbow-sides sent me. The top prompt of “Who wouldn’t be angry you ate all of my cereal and faked your death for three years!” inspired me to write this one-shot.

Pairings: Romantic Royality

Warnings: Temporary character death, grief, injury mention, food mention, insomnia, gun mention, kissing, ambiguous ending. Let me know if you see anymore and I’ll add them on!

Word Count: 1243

When he was little, Roman dreamed of being an actor. He loved the feeling of the spotlight, the rush of feeling just before he stepped onstage. The small gasps of surprise from the audience, the quiet sniffles when they were sad. And the roar of a standing ovation as all of the stress and nerves melted away.

He studied theatre in school. Was in all of the productions he could be. His schedule was constantly packed. He ran from rehearsal to rehearsal, never giving himself a chance to breathe. He thrived on it, for awhile.

And then suddenly it didn't feel the same. He still loved it, but he didn't get the same feeling of absolute joy anymore. He still did the offhand musical every once in awhile. Except he no longer wanted to be an actor. So he started searching for that feeling again.

And then he met Patton.

After a long day of classes, of people asking Roman what major he was going to choose, he had collapsed at a local cafe. A crime show was playing on the TV, which Roman noticed because he thought it was an odd choice for a cafe to be playing. It required a little more concentration, a little more time then people would normally spend at the little cafe, let alone spend watching the TV. And then he saw the man in the booth with the best view of the show. He was sitting on the very edge of his seat, gasping slightly every time he was shocked by something in the show. Which happened a lot. And every time he did, Roman felt warmth in his chest. The same feeling that he’d been missing for so long. So he’d wandered over. They'd talked, Roman spoiling who the murderer was just before it was revealed. Because to him it was so obvious!

Patton, who Roman had later found out used the cafe’s TV because he couldn't afford his own, told Roman that he had the knack for detail. For solving things. And that maybe it would be a good career for him.

Roman had scoffed at first. But he kept talking to Patton, and Patton kept bringing it up. Until eventually they were dating and he was suddenly the youngest detective their police force had ever had.

And he loved it. The rush, the spark was back, only this time he felt it every time he had a break through on a case. And when he would get stumped or frustrated he would go home to Patton, who would give him some advice that would cause him to put the last pieces together.

Patton started meeting him at the precinct for lunch, and then going out with him to question suspects. (It was unorthodox, but they cleared it with the boss. “Anything to help my best detective!” the man would say. Roman was just glad he could take Patton with him.)

Until the case. The case that left Patton in the hospital and Roman, well, dead.

Sort of.

Okay, not really. But Patton thought he was dead. And so did the man that put Patton in the hospital. And that was all that mattered.

Finally shooting the bastard that had put Patton in the hospital and sent Roman on the run felt good. And as soon as the bullet entered the guy’s chest all Roman could think about was going home to him, to Patton. So he had. And now he was here.

With an empty box of cereal in his hand and a shocked Patton staring him down from the doorway.

“Who the hell are you?” Patton screeched, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep. Roman put both hands up, hoping to calm him down.

“Pat--"

“--Don’t Pat me. I don't know who you think you are or what you think you're doing, but you need to get the hell out of my house.” Roman took a step back, shaken to his core. Patton, his Patton was swearing. And yelling at him to get out of their house.

“I know it's probably a shock, but it's me, it's Roman.” At his words Roman watched Patton blanch and stumble, leaning heavily against the doorframe.

“Get out.” Patton voice was quiet, which was so much worse than the yelling. And finally, finally, Roman knew he had messed up. “You must think you're funny, whoever you are. Messing with me. Making me think my dead husband was standing here. Some sort of sick joke. Or maybe I'm hallucinating again? Wouldn't be the first time.” Patton let his sentence trail off, and Roman watched Patton turn around and start to shuffle back up the stairs.

Filing the hallucinations away in his mind to be talked about later, Roman grabbed Patton’s arm to keep him from getting any further away, turned him around, and kissed him.

Which promptly got him slapped. Roman grabbed Patton’s arm before he could hit him again, pulling the smaller man to his chest and enveloping him in his arms. Roman felt his shirt get damp with Patton’s tears and started talking to him quietly, letting him know that it was really him, that he was actually here.

When the shaking stopped Patton stepped away. And promptly looked like an angry cat, haunches raised.

“How dare you. HOW DARE YOU!” Patton screamed. Roman covered his ears, wincing as the volume started to give him a headache. “You don't get to just come back, Roman! I thought you were dead! I buried you! I woke up in that hospital bed alone and then got told I would stay that way because you were an idiot and went after him, and DIDN'T. COME. BACK!” The last three words were each punctuated with Patton taking a step toward Roman, who panicked and backed away.

“Patton, I--"

“--You what? What could you possibly say Roman? You were gone. And you, you…”

Roman watched Patton deflate, quickly running out of steam. Whether from emotional or physical exhaustion Roman didn't know. Either way it was probably his fault. Roman watched Patton glance around, looking anywhere but at him. His eyes landed on the empty box of cereal that Roman must have discarded at some point. “And you ate all of my cereal!” Patton screeched, running toward the box. He picked it up, and turned around.

Roman flinched, thinking he would soon be hit in the face with said box. Not feeling anything he opened his eyes to see Patton sobbing on the floor, clutching the box to his chest. Roman rushed forward and gathered Patton in his arms, rubbing his palm up and down Patton’s back.

“It’ll be okay, Pat. We'll buy more cereal. We'll figure this out.” Patton bristled again, moving away from Roman’s embrace.

“Figure it out? Roman, it's been three years!”

“What?” No. Patton had to be wrong. It couldn't have been so long.

“You heard me. Three years. Next week, actually.” Roman watched as Patton wiped the tears from his eyes. “Listen it’s,” Patton glanced at the clock, “3:20 am. I’m tired. I’m not completely sure this isn’t a dream. Can you just come back in the morning and we’ll try to figure this out?”

Roman nodded, moving to the front door and opening it. The last thing he saw before the door shut was Patton, forehead leaned against the wall, tears streaming down his face, and an empty box of cereal in his hand.

A/N: I hope you enjoyed! As the ending is ambiguous, feel free to add on if you’d like. I’d love to see what you guys come up with! I might write for this AU again, if I ever feel inspired or if one of y’all really wants more. 

Taglist:

@rainbow-sides

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Thank you so much!

Coffee Stains and Friends

Summary: Sanders Sides Human! AU. All Virgil wanted was a cup of coffee. A broken coffeemaker leads to a new friend. Just a short fic I was inspired to write. If people like it I may end up adding more to this universe. 

Pairings: Platonic Moxiety

Warnings: None that I can think of! Let me know if you disagree and I’ll change it :)

Word Count: 754

Keep reading

[pattonly-perfect-in-every-way]

Coffee Stains and Friends

Summary: Sanders Sides Human! AU. All Virgil wanted was a cup of coffee. A broken coffeemaker leads to a new friend. Just a short fic I was inspired to write. If people like it I may end up adding more to this universe. 

Pairings: Platonic Moxiety

Warnings: None that I can think of! Let me know if you disagree and I’ll change it :)

Word Count: 754

All Virgil had wanted was a cup of coffee. But when he’d turned his coffeemaker on this morning it had started smoking. He'd quickly unplugged it before he managed to set fire to his apartment building. Again. And something told him his roommates, Roman and Logan, would be less forgiving if Virgil'd started another fire.

Knowing his roommates would need coffee to start their day, Virgil decided to go and pick some up. When he brought the coffee back they could talk about buying a new coffeemaker. So Virgil had slipped on his hoodie and stepped out into the cold.

The air was frigid, a brisk wind chilling Virgil to the bone the second he stepped off the front stoop. He hunched his shoulders and reminded himself that this was all for coffee. He set to walking the nearest coffee shop when he noticed a sign on the sidewalk in front of him. Apparently the new cafe that had been advertised for weeks is finally open. Virgil quickened his pace and stepped through the front door of the little shop.

A bell jingled as he walked in, its tone as bright as the atmosphere of the little cafe. It was a small place, with only a few tables here and there. There was a fireplace toward the back of the store, with a chocolate colored sofa set poised around it for people to sit and enjoy the warmth.

Not seeing any employees, Virgil walked up to the counter. Perched right next to the cash register is a small bell with a sign in front of it that read, “Ring the bell of you need help, and I'll be there in no chime!” Virgil chuckled at the pun and rang the bell at the counter.

Very soon afterward Virgil saw a man skip toward him from the back of the cafe. He was short, with brown hair and brown eyes. He was wearing a blue polo with a cat hoodie tied around his neck. The first word Virgil thought of to describe the man was adorable.

“What can I get ya, kiddo?” The man asked. Panicked because he hadn't actually looked at the menu, Virgil ordered the first thing he saw. “Uh… hot chocolate.” Virgil winced at how awkward he sounded, but the man didn't seemed phased. If anything he smiled even brighter.

“One hot chocolate coming right up, kiddo! Why don't you go take a seat and I'll bring it out to you.” Virgil nodded, and moved to take a seat in an armchair that was in an out of the way corner of the room. Virgil pulled out his phone and played a game while he waited.

He was suddenly pulled out of his game by a burning feeling down the front of his shirt. He looked up to the see the man with a very apologetic look on his face.

“I'm so sorry!” he said. Virgil watched the man suddenly turn into a mess of arms and legs as he frantically tried to dry Virgil off. Virgil stood and stopped the man’s napkin tirade by heading to the door.

“It's alright,” he heard himself say. Virgil stood and headed to the door. “I'll just go home and--"

“--You’ll do no such thing!” The man exclaimed. He grabbed Virgil's arm and pulled him toward  the door behind the counter that the man had come out of originally. “It's much too cold for you to go outside drenched like that. You can borrow one of my shirts and hang out here while I wash and dry your clothes!” Virgil wanted to argue, but the man’s grip was strong. And Virgil also didn't want to turn down the free wash. He hated doing laundry.

So he followed--well, was pulled by-- the man up the stairs into a cozy little apartment. The man let go of Virgil and sped into another room. A second later he came back and threw a shirt at Virgil.

“Patton?” Virgil asked, reading the name on the shirt.

“That's my name! Don't wear it out.” Patton said. Virgil rolled his eyes at the joke. “No really,” the man said. “Don't wear it out. That's a pajama shirt. People will think you're weird.” Patton winked at Virgil, who grinned. 

About two hours later Virgil’s clothes had been washed and he had coffee for everyone and enough pastries to feed an army. He also had plans to come back to the little cafe, and get to know the eclectic owner a little better.