patton-sanders-wanna-be-blog

[patton-sanders-wanna-be-blog]

@annoyedskull

ALL MY FELLAS!!! 🗣️🗣️🗣️‼️🦅🦅🗣️🗣️🗣️

Make YOU using THIS PICREW and tag 5 people!!!!

Yep, it's a chain!!!

@eyesofrhodochrosite @taaaaaaawnyfrogmouth @mikebeanz @ofthefrogs @kredena-dark

[patton-sanders-wanna-be-blog]

My death sentence:

I remember the first time I was aware of my death sentence

I was 13, young

7th grade, just trying to play

When I saw her walk by

I closed my eyes

I felt my stomach flutter as she said hi

I remember not knowing I was going to die

I remember when my death sentence was set in absolute stone

I was 15, a freshman,

Just got to high school

As she held my hand

And told me she liked me

And I kissed her

I wished for her

And that came true

And for sure I knew

Yet I didn't know my fate was already setting the date

I remember when my death sentence was changed from hanging to being burned alive

I was 17, senior year a year away

Just waiting for the next day

Bored in class, but felt the glass of my gender breaking away

The 5th time just that day

But this time it shattered

As I watched days on t, and stories title "becoming me" and seeing who I wished to be

And the glass shattered and what I felt mattered

And I finally started to break away to really really become me

I didn't see the knives sharpen at my new found joy…

Because I was only 13, 15, 17

I was only 7

When I heard of a queer man's death

And I didn't understand

So I went on my way

And I was only 18 when I felt so truly afraid

I held my chest as my heart rocketed a frayed

And it felt like my first crush if it caused physical pain

And I remember sobbing the whole way

Because on my walk home someone asked if I was gay

And when I said yes, they called me names

And for a moment I truly thought that it was my last day

And I remember being 21, my classes all done

Walking to my home with pep in my step

Till I learned my friend got shot

And I remember my head feeling hot

And my vision disappearing

And my life flashing before my eyes like it did on that walk

And i cried

I screamed

And i tried to feel something besides numb

As I knew this would happen to one of us sooner than later

And sometimes despite my pride

I just wanted to hide

Because my death sentence was set when I was born

And I will never be able to escape

(TWs: dying, hate crimes, knives, fear, gun violence, please tell me if I forgot any)

[patton-sanders-wanna-be-blog]

I (don't) remember:

I don't remember the first breath I took

When I was newly born

When nothing knew it could hurt

When no one felt they needed to speak on my worth

I don't remember when I took my first step

When everyone smiled and laughed

As I tripped over my tiny stubs

No one got upset

I don't remember the first time I cried

But I know that everyone tried to cheer me up

Arms holding me tight with love

I don't remember then

I remember to first time I heard of pride

When something filled in my chest

When I realized I was actually alive

I remember learning that I'm not wrong

I remember telling my family with a smile on my face

Embracing who I truly am for the first time in my life

I remember the look

The annoyance the sadness the disgust

I remember learning I was a problem

And the only way to solve it was to lock it up

Apologize and change

I don't remember acceptance

But I wonder if I had it when I was a baby

Because I can't remember the first breath I took at birth

But I remember the first breath I took as me

I remember finally being able to breath

I don't remember my first step

But I remember all the steps it took to become me

To make the people around me at least tolerate me

I don't remember the first time I cried

But I remember every time I cried from sadness and joy

From the pain of not feeling loved

To the joy of knowing that I can love

I don't remember who I was born to be

But I remember learning that she wasn't me

That I don't have to be she

That there is nothing wrong with me

I don't remember…

When I was young enough to be carefree

But I remember the first time I ever truly felt free…

(Decided to post some of my poetry because why not, please notify me if I should add any trigger warnings)