partialentirety
you cannot kill me in a way that matters.
10K posts
you can call me Pigeon, they/them/theirs disabled, LGBT+, 22, pfp by @marchworm
Don't wanna be here? Send us removal request.
partialentirety · 21 hours ago
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partialentirety · 21 hours ago
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You have been visited by el wiwi enderman.
Oh my gods---
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Enderwiwi---
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partialentirety · 24 hours ago
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i feel like this is important enough to put on here.
if you have any videos on youtube make sure this is unchecked
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partialentirety · 24 hours ago
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partialentirety · 2 days ago
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partialentirety · 2 days ago
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partialentirety · 2 days ago
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The Next Generation Delivery Vehicle that the USPS ordered is legit the most fucked up thing you'll ever see in your life.
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partialentirety · 2 days ago
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psychic *reads my mind*
Me;
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partialentirety · 2 days ago
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You shouldn’t date or become serious friends/partners with someone if you can’t stomach the thought of being stuck in a car or train with them for 16 hours.
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partialentirety · 2 days ago
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still believe that one of the greatest bits of all time was on January 6th, 2021 when. well. you know. and twitter was understandably an echo chamber of panic and fear and Justin McElroy just tweeted a selfie with a filter that was like “have a delicious national spaghetti day” followed by 3 tweets that were like “fuck. i’m sorry. i don’t know how to delete scheduled posts” and as i type this two years later i’m laughing
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partialentirety · 4 days ago
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I needed this drag. Let’s change guys and not look back
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partialentirety · 4 days ago
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Tip: You can keep just about any guy in a little bottle on your bookshelf
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partialentirety · 4 days ago
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You can replace [ACTIVITY YOU ENJOY] with [SCROLLING] but watch out. This sucks bad 👍
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partialentirety · 5 days ago
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big pharma will try to sell u $20 cold medicine like spicy ramen doesnt cost like a dollar a pack and orgasms are free
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partialentirety · 5 days ago
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partialentirety · 5 days ago
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Occasionally as an Australian you'll be talking to someone from overseas, and you'll discover a common phrase you took for granted is, in fact, not universally known outside of our country.
Turns out casually dropping "fuck me dead" into conversation will give unsuspecting Americans an aneurism.
The more you know.
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partialentirety · 6 days ago
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Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence?
My earliest memory of what I would call self-awareness occurred spontaneously in the middle of my fourth birthday party, where I suddenly became alert to my existence as a separate entity surrounded by other conscious beings.
This presented to me as not dissimilar to simply being brushed along the flow of a river- experiencing life as a serious of flashbang moments and instants and sensations, like meditating to music until the individual notes break into sounds that follow no rhythm and are only noise- no past or future, only now- and then suddenly finding yourself holding a paddle in the belly of a boat with no idea what to do next.
I remember running to the body that felt safest, who I did not recognize as anything else, and asking it who all the strangers around us were. The person that I learned was my mother told me they were my aunties and uncles, and I was being silly because I KNEW them, and why was I so shy all of a sudden?
Learning to articulate myself after that instant, I remember, was immensely frustrating. Learning your first language, as I remember it, is wuite a bit like how Ive been told recovering from brain damage feels like.
YOU know what you mean. YOU know what you're saying. But there are holes where you reach for something you know MUST be there and find nothing, and must find a way to communicate using only what you have at hand. Except there are always faces looking at you, talking down to you, asking you to do tricks for them to prove you really are a real human person.
I loved art, and I'm very good at it, but GETTING good at it was the worst. I'm told I started with scribbles at six months or so, before I could walk, and at three and four I remember being immensely frustrated that I could see in my head exactly what I wanted to produce, and I didn't know how to PRODUCE it.
And simple shit, like drawing shapes and circles, developing fine motor skills. You FULLY UNDERSTAND THE ASSIGNMENT, but your hands are soft and wobbly and don't cooperate. Getting your mouth and body to obey your directions is hellish, especially when all the appliances and furniture and installations around you are built for someone easily triple your size.
Chairs are hard to sit in when you're small and cant touch the ground. Your legs dangle and you cant scoot closer to the table, and the backrest is so far back you cant use it for support, and the table comes up past your chest so your chin is amost in your plate and your dumb clumsy hands cant hold a big spoon or fork in a way that feels natural or elegant so you end up smearing shit EVERYWHERE and getting yapped at for having your elbows on the counter.
Reading people was interesting. Most people are condescending and plastic when you're small, and you can tell when they're being saccharine and fake, but you're told the polite thing is to believe what they say and be polite back. I used to try using big sentences on purpose just to het them to leave me alone. "What a pretty girl! Can you say Hello?" was the most common ask I can recall. Id answer with the floweriest thing I could think of, usually, "I'm very well, thank you for asking, how are you?", because people only ask you interesting questions after you do well enough on their tests to prove you're people.
Being small was very tiring, and very frustrating, and becoming aware of myself in my own head probably made everything a lot worse overall.
No regrets, though. From what I can recall, life is far more enjoyable when you're aware of it occurring. Time can't slow down until you know it's there, I think
Being a baby full of instincts felt like living as a live grenade. Being a child was far harder, but more Full. More Human. A LOT more like adulthood than infancy, and I was very determined to remember that.
If any of that makes sense
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