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Dr. Perky was a sorghum-based soda that gained popularity in Carnelian very briefly in 2213 before its discontinuation by court order which saw it promptly removed from shelves.

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scum

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komaedalings have been spotted crawling all over the central bank

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i really really want to come up with a better name than ‘obscuran’ for a specific type of being that exists in my oc cosmology because it sounds a little tacky for my taste

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whimsical satyr playing a delightful tune in the enchanted forest on his magical yamaha synthesizer

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THE WEEKLY EXPOSEUR ISSUE #255 ARTICLE #12: THE ONE CASE THEY CAN’T SOLVE. By Truman Scarborough.

It goes without saying that outside of the ongoing Civil-Corporate Conflict, the worst crimes in Carnelian could be barely listed on two hands. The Puzzle Box Frauds of 2209, the ‘Be Happy’ and ‘Y2K2′ mass hacking incidents, and the kidnapping of the world’s oldest baby are all almost farcical in nature, almost leaving the Ministry of Justice with little to do. More often than not, the bulk of their work has either been related to the above mentioned Civil-Corporate Conflict, the previously mentioned independent crimes (all of which were resolved in an orderly and peaceful manner), or to mysterious incidences relating to the supernatural forces that abound in this strange and still yet new world.

But, one case haunts both the nation and the Justice Ministry in particular: the Signpost Killings. Representing the only known incidence of serial murder in the nation, The Signpost Killings entail the deaths of more than twenty individuals, as well as related, unexplained incidents connected to, at least what authorities believe to be, a single individual. The story goes like this: starting in 2213 and ending in 2217, twenty-three people were murdered in and around the Four Cities Complex in all manner of disparate means. According to public records, none of the victims were aware of or directly connected to one another, all of whom came from drastically different backgrounds, most of whom sharing only the same general area of residence.

Now, dear reader, you may be asking yourselves “What connects these murders, if anything, to each other?” to which I would answer, “A few things, actually!”. Most notably, while the methods may have differed between each kill, the killer always seems to have struck when the victim was alone, and while each victim was killed in a different manner, the killer seems to have left two calling cards at each scene. One being a number, in the first victim’s case 01145, with the first two digits seeming ascending for each new victim and crime scene (i.e. the second scene featuring the number 02145, the third 03145, the fourth 04145, etc.), and the other being a series of numbered placards, spelling out a certain word. The first victim, Carnelian City shopkeeper Ed Bullock’s placards spelled out the word ‘lust’, and given that this was the first and most publicized killing, the names ‘the lust killer’ or more simply ‘lust’ stuck, even as later victims were associated with different words (e.g. smoke, electronics, etc.).

The 23rd and final murder, though announced, was the most mysterious of the killings, as it involved an individual directly involved with the investigation and apparently happened in an especially sensitive location. Thus, the only details that were made public were the time it occurred and the murder weapon, a hand-axe, though even minimal details such as the victim’s initials and the placards left at the scene of the crime were left out of the statement released to the public. Theories range from a major government building like the Mahogany House, or the residence of a major political leader, but no concrete information has surfaced. Additionally, after this murder, the investigations on the whole stalled indefinitely, only picking up when, a year later, the grave of former Justice Minister Lincoln Townsend was found defaced, this time with the numbers 24145, and waterlogged, despite there being no logical reason for such a thing to happen. While this wasn’t made public, a hidden source (possibly the legendary hacker, Ω), leaked one detail about the case to us: the placards this time seemed to spell out the word ‘temple’.

Curiously, the date of this discovery was included in the aforementioned leak by our anonymous source, leading us to find out that this occurred on August 28th, 2218, which is an auspicious date to be sure. If you’ve been living under a rock and don’t remember, this coincides with the date the resort island Isla Saturnalia sank into the upper Sundance Sea, injuring hundreds and destroying an entire resort town in the process. We’ve covered all sorts of theories related to this incident in the past, ranging from an ancient sea-god swallowing up the island because it tasted like sweet parfait, to it being a test for an experimental seismic weapon by a secret organization, but this is yet a new wrinkle in the case.

Additionally, it may be noteworthy to address the letters sent to the press (including this very magazine, dear reader!!!) by an individual named Locutus. While the Ministry of Justice doubts their authenticity as it pertains to whether or not these were sent by the same individual who committed the murders (if it even is a single individual), though they are of interest due to their own mysterious origins. Each letter taunted the police and the citizenry, calling them ‘unenlightened fools who could not see God if he spat in their face point blank’, and that ‘God’s harvest has begun’. That last statement is of great interest to many, who connected it to the infamous cult known as the Center of Rebirth, though none of the cult’s leaders responded for questioning then, nor did anyone speak out for or against it publicly.

Folks, it’s a real mystery as to the truth of this case, and we here at the Exposeur have no real clue as to who or what is perpetrating these crimes. The government has dragged their feet on this one, and though I am usually one to suggest incompetence over malignance, it feels especially galling knowing something like this hasn’t yet been fully addressed. The conspiracy around this case has many tendrils, and who knows how many of them come from the government themselves. In the end, all I can say, like I always have been, is Keep Your Eyes Peeled, To See the Truth and to Save Your Life.

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Quick Facts: Ringo Starchild

once a circus jester and only child, ringo was hit by a catastrophic temporal-spacial anomaly that ripped his body from his soul. his soul now exists in a semi-physical gestalt form while his body has since gained a new consciousness.

as a consequence of the temporal-spacial blast, ringo can travel to any universe at any point in time he so desires

usually he likes to keep notes in a small notepad he carries with him

while he can no longer enjoy the taste of food, he continues to eat out of habit and as a placebo. his favorite things to eat are small candies, especially konpeito

has a small cat familiar named Felipe, who speaks in a brooklyn accent

can change his outfit at will but it will always bear some resemblance to the jester outfit he wore during the incident

two days prior to the incident, he broke up with his boyfriend of two years, Venom Orosco, over a disagreement involving whether or not you should put ketchup on broccoli or not. to this day, Venom has nursed a significant grudge against Ringo for his supposed ‘feeble-minded’ rejection of grander taste possibilities involving vegetables and sauces.

gets more powerful the closer to the end of a given universe he is inhabiting

you dont want to look behind the mask, trust me, it wont do you any favors

is basically like if the gman from half life was a freelancer and a clown

summarily older than time itself and also freshly born

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CLOWN UNION RULES:

1. All enrolled clowns must pay their dues according to their percentage of clowning for that year.

2. To enroll in the clown union, one must first indicate the type of clown (i.e. Jester, Birthday Party Clown, Office Fool, etc.) duration of prior clowning activities, and pass a written test graded by the Clown Union Advisory Board.

3. No clown must bring harm to another clown within the Union.

4. No clown must intentionally bring harm to another unless provoked, or to prevent greater harm from coming to multiple individuals. Violators will be stripped of their membership and blacklisted from all major clown events.

5. Every five years, the Clown Union will unite under a singular circus tent to discuss and revise its official positions on issues relevant to all clowndom.

6. To voluntarily leave the Clown Union, one must only submit an official letter of resignation signed with silly string to the Clown Union Advisory Board.

For further questions, rules, and regulations, please direct all inquiries to the Clown Union’s official outreach center on the internet, or to your local outreach center at: [726 MARINE BOULEVARD, CARNELIAN CITY, FC].

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if i started posting oc stuff here now would it be too soon