parkerthewanderlust

[parkerthewanderlust]

I have learned to welcome the rains.

The torrential downpours and thunderstorms that come unexpectedly in life.

I realize they are the purging, the cleansing, the washing away that is needed to usher in newness.

I learned today about Oya, the orisha of lighting. I love thunderstorms and when I saw the one today, I thought, which Goddess is purging this space. It was not violent, the storm, but it was a sweeping a cleanse. So i researched different goddesses of storms. And I learned of Oya:

"Oya is often depicted as a warrior queen, fierce and protective, embodying the qualities of strength, courage, and change.

In Yoruba mythology, Oya is one of the Orishas, divine beings that interact with humans and govern different aspects of life. She is considered a force of nature and is associated with wind, lightning, and tornadoes. Oya's power is believed to bring about transformation, both in the physical world and within individuals. She is seen as a catalyst for change, often associated with endings and new beginnings.

Beyond her association with nature, Oya is also regarded as a guardian of the ancestral realm and the gatekeeper between life and death. She is believed to assist with the transition of souls from the earthly plane to the spiritual realm."

I know that I have a connection to Yemoja/Yemaja. No doubt about it. Her gift day is even 3 days after my birthday, September 7th. Some people celebrate on September 6th. I cannot wait to celebrate her.

But I also feel this affinity to Oya, and perhaps my reverence is just a nod to her and appreciation of her fierce power. It is nice to connect with you, Oya. Thank you for cleansing our altar (nature) and providing the much-needed nourishment. Her colors are also dark purple/red, which reminds me of the red-spotted purple butterfly and the Phoenix, which is also dark purple/red. Transformation is afoot.

#spirituality #orisha #orishas #oya #gratitude #thunderstorms #goddesses

[parkerthewanderlust]

Death, too, is sacred

Friday, June 21st, on the Full Moon, I witnessed the passing of a Female Yellow Swallowtail. When I arrived home after visiting my grandma and aunt, who are both deceased, I saw her body moving in the wind. I knew that she had passed, and it hurt my spirit. I left her where she was as she was between two cars in the driveway. I didn't realize it then, but the moon shined brightly on her that night.

The next day, when I returned from walking Biscuit, the wind had moved her body to my side of the driveway. At first, I was horrified watching the wind flip my body from side to side. Then, I thought, maybe she was alive, and she needed help to revive herself. So, I got a sponge. Soaked in sugar and water, and I placed the sponge in the grass.

The wind was still moving her body from side to side; the wind even stood her body up for a moment. I thought perhaps I did help revive her. I like to think that she took her last sip of nectar before moving on. An offering, if you will.

To keep the sun from searing into her wings and body, I moved her to the side of the house, still on the sponge. Back inside, I googled what type of butterfly she was. That is when I learned that she was a yellow female Swallowtail. When I went back inside, it dawned on me that she was the spirit of Aunt. Letting me know she was at peace. Just the day before, I had given my aunt and grandma flowers. Hydrageneas for grandma and Sunflowers for my aunt. My grandma had a marker, but my aunt did not. I made a promise to her before I left that I would bring her flowers to serve as her marker. That she would not be forgotten in this earthly realm.

To see the Yellow Swallowtail that had passed on and to eventually lay it to rest was one of the most beautiful experiences I had. At first, I was really freaked because butterflies symbolize life, transformation, and rebirth. But it also made it realize that all of that also includes death. Everything lives, and then it lets go. We can become immortal by creating a legacy and leaving a trace of our path.

My aunt who passed away from ovarian cancer was in her late forties when she died. My aunt fought with every ounce of her being to survive, and in the end, she did let go. I think my aunt's biggest fear was that she would be forgotten. I assured her I would not let that happen. When I saw the Swallowtail resting on the sponge (btw, my aunt LOVED sweets), I felt her spirit telling me she was resting now.

I placed the Swallowtail in the forest behind my uncle's house. A last act of giving her back to the sanctuary. I wished her love on her sacred journey back to the source, and I felt my heart expand and overflow with gratitude to share that experience.

[parkerthewanderlust]

The monkey, the dog, the human

This morning, I woke up from a dream about a monkey, a dog, and me (the human).

The dream was pretty straightforward. My dog (Biscuit) went up to a monkey in that was in the yard. Biscuit just wanted to play or get to know the monkey. Sometimes, Biscuit can get overly excited, as he's known to do.

The monkey got scared.

I, the human, tried to pull Biscuit back. He eventually listened. I was a bit scared of the monkey so I went inside and left my journals (intuition) outside. Biscuit wasn't scared at all.

After inside, the monkey started terrorizing us. Breaking our locks. Trying to break our gate. Perhaps it wanted an apology. Not sure, but it started to threaten us and all the humans inside. It never acted on physical violence, but it broke the locks in our house and did things outside that made us afraid to go out (or at least we felt afraid by the threat of the monkey). Like the outside was their domain and they controled us.

So we humans stay instead scared. I tried to lead the humans to take action so we could go back outside and reclaim our area, but I was told I was too aggressive. Then, a man started speaking, and everyone else listened. I was so frustrated. Finally, the monkeys started to move inside, terrorizing kids, and the humans were stuck inside a room. I told a woman I knew we couldn't go on like this, and she said, "Where is Biscuit?"

I literally woke up to my uncle saying, "Good Morning, Biscuit." lol.

At first, I was scared about the dream as I'd been having some interesting situations. But the more I reflected. The more I saw what the monkey, the dog, and the human represented. I think it is interesting that what was lost in the dream was space. Especially because I've been focused a lot on space, expansiveness, and freedom.

The monkey - the world/or another

the dog - innocence/freedom, joy, connection, the inner child, courage

the human - the logical self, the self only interested in protecting the self that is formed by the world if not mindful.

I realized at some point in my life I've been all 3: The monkey, the dog, the human.

The monkey who does not understand innocence and joy and saw it was a threat. Really wanting an explanation or apology for having a boundary crossed, and instead lashing out. Wanting to make the other person feel small. The dog, who is unafraid. Perhaps unaware and quite excited to be alive that it's joy and freedom is seen as a threat. Also, the dog who could learn more boundaries and how to respect one's own journey and space. And finally, the human. The human is scared and, rather than looking for solutions, panics. Lol. The human that sees the Divine Feminine as aggressive when it suggests showing courage as oppose to seeing man as wise when suggests ignoring a problem, then only makes it worse.

There is soo much in this dream that i could process for hours, but I seeing as it came from the Full Moon, I will internalize it's message: Be more like the dog with boundaries. Lol

#spirituality #folklore #strawberrymoon #fullmoon #aboveandbeyond

[parkerthewanderlust]

Space + Expansion: A Summer Solstice Freedom Reflection

CW: mention of suicide

Today is the summer solstice of 2024. And I feel it. I feel the shift. The blossoming. The evolution of my soul. Without realizing it, the last day of my job 6-months ago was on the Winter Solstice, December 21st.

Quitting that job was incredibly liberating, and, at the time, it was incredibly scary. I was burnt out. Tired from the abusive and degrading nature I'd experienced working in a field that was meant to empower, heal, and uplift people. I was tired of the microaggressions and the way some work environments aimed to tear you into pieces.

Several times during that job, I experienced suicide ideation because of the cruelty I experienced. The unnecessary meanness that others seemed to get joy from. It pained me to watch people delight in others' dehumanization at their hands or to watch the others who bore witness and only shared their sympathies in the background. It was a dark time. It truly was. But darkness doesn't mean bad.

And that I think of it, I started that job right before the solstice. The weekend after my grandma's funeral. There were signs, but I didn't know it then.

So, after 6-months of ripping myself apart, trying to people-please, disregarding that I knew the job wasn't in alignment because I was living in survival, I chose myself. I chose to trust myself, and at the time, I didn't know it then, but I chose to trust that the Divine would take care of me.

And I also chose space and expansion. In the past, freedom to me meant doing whatever I wanted with no restrictions. I am refining that now. I believe freedom is about limitlessness, spaciousness, and expansion. The times I felt the most free were not just when I was doing what I wanted at anytime (I mean that was a part of it), but the times I have felt the most free have been when I felt like anything (goodness, dreams) was possible. The times I experienced or felt like I've jumped timelines and lived in my strength and power were when I felt limitless. Limitlessness is much more than doing what you want when you want to do it. Limitlessness is about having no barriers to connect with the beauty, goodness, and source around you.

Limitlessness is knowing about seeing expansion and spaciousness in creative ways. Limitlessness is abundance and bounty.

As a black woman whose roots hail from the South (North Carolina, Georgia, and VA), I think about my ancestors who suffered from the violence of slavery. I think about how when their freedom was stolen, they also lost their relationship with space and expansion. Being cramped into ships and chained up. Being cramped into corners that were called living spaces. Being told what to do every waking hour of your life. Being surveillanced all the time. And if I am honest that hasn't changed in the prison system or in some other employment spaces (farmers not getting breaks. Amazon workers not receiving breaks in India or time).

What I also think about their acts of regaining freedom (often called rebellion, but who decided to use that term anyway?) running away or jumping into the vast sea to escape bondage. I think about the strength it took to expand in those moments. To dream of freedom, to take it, and know that the path was always a path consisting of spaciousness. The woods/forest. The sea.

To choose freedom is to choose the path of spaciousness and expansion. Choosing freedom requires letting go and choosing something different than what someone else has already chosen for you.

As I spend time in nature in my ancestral home, I give thanks on this Summer Solstice that I've chosen spaciousness and expansion and that it chooses me back. I recognize that the Divine and I have chosen for me to here. No one else gets to dictate that.

When I think about how, more than 6-months ago, I fought to keep my life. Knowing deep down that I was bigger than the mean comments and that I was stronger than the hateful energy thrown my way, I give thanks for my ability to expand beyond the thoughts of others. I give thanks that, without knowing it, I was sourcing my power from the Divine.

Every day, I will choose limitlessness, spaciousness, and expansiveness. I let go of the limitations and chains that were knowingly or unknowingly placed by others or myself.

I don't have to break free. I was already born free. But instead, I run, walk, skip, float, swim, glide, fly, soar, and ease my way to where this spaciousness and expansiveness are. I know that is my guiding light to freedom.

Is there space for new ideas and thoughts and voices?

Are all in the community expansive and growing?

Is there autonomy and agency to grow?

Is the thinking one of limitation and fixation and rigidness (not to be confused with boundaries or standards), or is there flow, space, and flexibility?

#freedom #expansion #summersolstice #soulevolution #aboveandbeyond #limitlessness #spaciousness #divinity #abundance #selflove #selfcare #divinefemininity

[parkerthewanderlust]

It feels like I've unlocked this new way of being that feels so antithetical to what I know and how I was taught to be which is totally ok, but I feel like I am creating this foundation from scratch.

I feels like i released or I am tapping at this boundless way of being that supersedes man's concept of time and existing.

I feel like I've tapped into Divine Femininity, and now I can see things with clear eyes. I feel like I can wield a possibility into existence by just focusing on that existence and collaborating with the Divine to bring it to life.

It makes me think, do we really, as spiritual beings, have this much power? Do we, as Divine beings, have this much ability to create? While at first, this scared me, it also made me think of all the beauty and goodness that could come from knowing.

I think back to Adam and Eve, with mainly the focus on Eve. Though she is was punished in the man made story for eating the apple, I think about how this was for sure written by men. Not because Eve ate the apple. But instead because she was meant to be seen as the bad one for daring to eat the apple. Up until that point, Adam and Eve weren't aware of themselves. They were just living, I guess, like robots, so unaware of their existence and power (much like our society today). And Eve, the feminine representation, just couldn't be satisfied with that. Her desire to eat and be led by the temptation to eat the "apple" was their downfall.

But why was the tree there in the first place? And prior to her eating the apple, it seems Adam and Eve were just there to exist. There was no creation (childbirth). But I guess my question is, why was God so angry that they now understand good and evil?

"The tree of life could have given him immortality, however, and God determined that “man has become like one of us, knowing good and evil” (Genesis 3:22). To prevent Adam from achieving full parity with God, the first man had to be driven out of the garden where the tree of life grew. Cherubim and a great flaming sword were placed east of the garden to prevent Adam and Eve from returning. Immortality was lost by the free choice of Adam (his sin, properly speaking) for a knowledge which would bring him to an equality with God but which in fact had a laughable conclusion: the discovery that he was naked. The story of the Fall thus offers a pessimistic verdict on the human race and shows a fundamental religious distinction: the distance in essence between humanity and God, the radical conflict between human ambition and God’s absolute sovereignty." - https://www.britannica.com/topic/Fall-of-Man

And I don't think the Divine is like that. The Divine wants us to give reverence, but the Divine also wants us to be empowered. We are not subservient to the Divine but an acknowledgment of the Divine's creation. This idea of Adam and Eve only reinforced punishment and shame. Whereas, if you look at nature and the function of the earth, that does not exist there. Creation and giving birth is beautiful. Yet, Eve is punished with painful childrearing. Why would God punish Eve with giving birth, when the act of creation and birth is of the Divine.

Eve wasn't punished because she was wrong or tempted. She was punished because she dared to know more for herself and she dared to be empowered.

The Divine doesn't want us disempowered. If Utopia can only exist without you truly knowing and witnessing the power of your God, is that existence, or are you a machine. How could Adam and Eve even give reverence to a God who didn't want to know more and grow? How is that Utopia?

Of course, I realize this story is not the only one that speaks about creation. It just made me think about how this dominates so many people's thinking and how it totally strays away from true Divine empowerment.

#spirituality #storyofcreation #eve #divinefeminine #creation

[parkerthewanderlust]

[parkerthewanderlust]

Brain, hey you, you are a part of me

This morning when I woke up with a tired feeling. I feeling I knew oh so well. It was the feeling of my brain feeling out burnt out. These last 6 months have been life and brain-altering. My experiences have asked me to expand in ways I didn't believe were possible, but here I am.

And what i've realized is that my brain doesn't really recognize the difference between positive growth (one brought on my willingness to change) and trauma (brought on my harsh realities that create coping mechanisms to survive). These last months, I would say, have been shifting me toward positive growth.

Thinking differently, cultivating and building a relationship with the Divine Source, and seeing my own connection/link to Divinity.

And along the way, I've said over and over again. I am tired. When I got my hopes up, and it felt like everything was going batshit. I would say I am tired.

But know I am beginning to believe that was my brain. Tired from overthinking. Tired of feeling like it has to do everything all by itself. Tired from feeling like world is beating down on it. Tired of all the always having to strategize. Tired of feeling like there was no one to trust. Tired of feeling like it has to fight every single battle, ever.

And I get it. My brain has been on overdrive since I was about 12-years old. Perhaps even before then, but that's when I distinctly remember adopting the thinking I've been carrying into my early 30s.

And to be clear, I don't blame or shame my brain. I am actually grateful for this beautiful muscle (hence the glitter). So often, in wellness circles and healing spaces, the brain is seen as the enemy. We talk about self-sabotage and how we can't trust our thoughts. But honestly, my brain bore the brunt of so many difficult experiences that I could never think of it as my enemy. My brain got me through many challenges that the Divine was guiding me through.

So today, during meditation, I let my brain know that it deserved to feel joy and happiness and goodness. I let me know brain know that it was ok to trust in our Divination. I let my brain know that it was safe. I wanted my brain to know that it was a part of me. And that moment, I felt sensation that electrified my body. Just affirming to my brain that it was a part of me. Not a tool for others to use, not this object out the ether. But a part of me. To let my brain know that it was also Divine and a part of the Divine. The sensation felt like a response from my brain. A thank you.

I don't know when my brain began to feel like it didn't belong or when it felt disconnected from me. Again, I think maybe around 12. But I welcome it back to its Source: The Divine.

Welcome Home Brain

#spirituality #minds #brain #growth #evolution #love #self-love #healing #care # acknowledgemen

[parkerthewanderlust]

I have no energy to hate anyone. I literally have no room in my heart to carry that sh*t around. I either love you, wish you well, or hope you heal.

[parkerthewanderlust]

Lately, the moon she's been meeting in the evening to illuminate my being. It feels like a kiss when she shines through my window.

I am cancer-rising, so the moon rules my chart. She is my ascendant who ascends over me every night, and during the day. Every night, it feels like the Moon is the mom tucking me in, telling me to have sweet dreams. And I, the offspring, feeling so nourished and cared for.

And it makes me feel like the Moon is also my mirror. Like we are each other, and now that I am seeing it, she is pleased. It's like now that I've decided to see her, not just sometimes, but every night, she wants to shine her light on me.

And if I am honest, her light has been just as bright as the sun. Sometimes, it has woken me up from my slumber. She wanted me to see her. I see her now.

She wields the tides, and she keeps the earth balanced. Why would I not give reverence? I am her, and she is me.

What a magical Diva she is.

#astrology #ascendant #gratitude #moon #earth

[parkerthewanderlust]

Expanding into Divinity

she is mother. i am child.

she is mother. i am child becoming mother.

but in the physical, i've struggled trusting mother and father.

i've struggled trusting that they would support me. see me for me. not be envious of the Divine wings granted to me so that I could soar.

but she, Divine mother, is my source.

And everything i know about care and support is being rearranged. turned upside down.

everything i know about being is shifted.

who am i to doubt it?

but i've doubting all my life.

thinking i just received lucky shots, instead of realizing it was the Divine supporting me along the way.

she is mother. i am child becoming mother in her image.

#spirituality #divinity #evolution #healing #growth #trust

[parkerthewanderlust]

I know tomorrow might feel more certain. The path may have more vision and may seem clearer, but today I walk. Walking to keep from feeling scared and also walking, knowing that it takes a lot of courage to do so. These feet ground me as the wings of a bird keep them soaring.