paperhighways

[paperhighways]

love this

[paperhighways]

writing for fun

because i've forgotten that this used to my space of soft refuge; a blanket wrapped tightly around oneself in a cold room at the end of a long week right before bed (without any worry of having to settle work over the weekend)

i'm heading over to Paustina's house really soon for a BBQ get-together that Julian asked her to invite me to. it already feels weird to know i'll be the youngest there (children don't count) - and also in the sense of my (lack of) seniority in the company.

"outside of", rather than "after" is now the term that comes to mind when i think of a life without Sgcarmart. i remember thinking that i'd be here only for a year - and that thought had been solidified six months in, then verbalised and made more concrete one evening at nat's house when talking to her and wei. two years and two months have passed now and i don't see myself leaving any time soon. it feels like there's still so much to discover and learn on the road ahead.

yet at the same time i know that there is a huge part of me that longs to experience and discover the world beyond not just this place, but Singapore as a whole. funnily enough, reading the review for Caution on Pitchfork (as always this is the de facto URL i type in when i want to read something non-automotive related, even though i also know that 90% of the reviews there don't immediately pique my interest) helped trigger memories of London: walking back to 1 Omega Place at 4pm with the sun already setting, my first set of blue, 'wireless' earpieces on. i'm no longer that 22-year old person anymore (! my god). i know loneliness awaits with any solo adventure - whether that be a 10-day trip to Sydney, or a four-year stint studying abroad - but so does a wealth of experience, satisfaction, joy,,,,, etc....

i've been really thankful for the chat i had with ethan last thursday, when he emphasised time and again the importance of doing something for ourselves outside of work, and outside of the expectations placed on the multiple roles we perform as sons/brothers/friends (whether these are purely in our head or truly exist in real time matters not so much since the result is almost invariably the same).

i don't want to look back at my 27 year old self, or 30 year old self, or 40 year old self, and feel like i was being constricted and suppressed at that point. i feel like i've done that enough in life so far.

am still trying to find the balance; to wave the smoke away and out of my face and to see with more clarity.

(but also i will allow myself to say state and admit clearly to myself now that i feel lonely deep down.)

[paperhighways]

re: Apple’s dismissive attitude towards App developers

[paperhighways]

smart article :>