panggil-saja

[panggil-saja]

Sorry, I'm obsessed to be a wife not a bride

[panggil-saja]

i'm a lazy texter‚ unless you're my bestfriend or i like you

[panggil-saja]

My biggest 🚩 is that i’ve normalised silent treatment when im not in mood for a talk. i don’t really know how to express my feelings especially when im sad and hurt. i only talk to myself in my head about how i feel all the time.

[panggil-saja]

Selamat berbahagia sosok nyata dalam setiap tulisan ku!

Semoga segera aku susul. Bukan menyusul pernikahan mu, tapi menyusul kebahagian seperti apa yg aku dambakan.

Pada akhirnya hidup tetap harus berjalan, meski kita tau bahwa ini sama sama menyesakan.

Selamat berbahagia ya sekali lagi, dan lagi lagi meski bukan aku orang yg membuat mu bahagia.

Salam sayang dari ku, aksarasanti jingga.

14 Mei 2023

[panggil-saja]

Hidup kalo ga nice try ya nice to meet u!

[panggil-saja]

I miss u a lot!

[panggil-saja]

Aku tidak ingin menjadi cantik untuk konsumsi publik

[panggil-saja]

“Dear you, Thank you for letting me down, thank you for walking away. Thank you for shattering my heart into a thousand pieces and scattering those pieces all around the world. Thank you for breaking me, for destroying me and for walking away. We both know, that if you had never walked away after you did all of this, I would have still been yours. Thank you for leaving and leaving me to repair the damage that you have done. I have since learnt that I am unbreakable, invincible, and anyone would be lucky to have me. Thank you for showing me that you never deserved me.”

—

Excerpts from the book I’ll never write #410

17.06.2022

12:57 am.

[panggil-saja]

When your day is bitter, make a cup of coffee is better.

[panggil-saja]

You don't have to judge the whole world by your own standards. Not everybody is like you, you know.

[panggil-saja]

I want to believe you, but if that's true, I just don't get it. Why does loving somebody mean you have to hurt them just as much? I mean, if that's the way it goes, what's the point of loving someone?

[panggil-saja]

Bahkan air mata udah gk bisa netes, karena yaa gimana lagi ini semua udah resiko

[panggil-saja]

Bener bener umur 22 tuh penuh roller coaster banget ya!

Percintaan yg kandas, dia yg disangka akan menemani proses kehidupan ternyata melingkari cincin pada jari wanita lain.

Proses membangun bisnis yg penuh rintangan, dari barang yg susah dicari, pemasukan yg tidak stabil, karyawan yg memilih cuti hingga manajemen keuangan dan sdm yg bisa dikatakan gagal.

Belum lagi proses kuliah yg tidak berjalan lancar, dihapakan dengan manusia jenis baru, circle yg bisa dibilang toxic, hingga tekanan dari dosen.

Tapi belum selasai sampai di situ, ternyata pertemanan semakin mengecil, semakin sulit untuk diajak berbagi pendapat karena waktunya tidak pas, belum lagi dengan overthinking yg disebabkan oleh dir sendiri, tentang pencapaian teman teman yg sudah kerja di bumn, perusahaan ternama, bahkan dengan gaji yg luar biasa.

Semoga tetap kuat ya diri ini!

Aku ingin menuliskan ini sebagai pengingat bahwa aku pernah mengalami hal hal tidak nyaman begini secara bersamaan dan aku mampu melaluinya. Bismillah semuanya bisa di urai yaa, satu satu.

[panggil-saja]

[panggil-saja]

Ya Allah pengin diperlakukan like a queens, ga toxic terus begineee

[panggil-saja]

Haduhh gini amat rasanya putus tanpa jadian

[panggil-saja]

If it is destined to return to their respective directions, please don't forget all the series that have been made. I always remember how happy we were when we were together, and how painful it was when we left each other.