pan-and-tired

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being good friends with evelyn and george but barely knowing alex is so funny. like bro i didnt call for you put your grandparents on the phone i have a recipe to swap with granny and a news broadcast to complain about with peepaw

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i will never forget in 2022 when i went to the same starbucks every day for like 4 months. and every day i ordered the same thing (grande iced matcha latte with oat milk). and every day it was the same barista and he was so rude to me every single time. and then one day i got in line and he immediately started making my matcha latte when he saw me and as i went to grab it off the counter, he stopped me and looked in my eyes and said "i'm sorry i'm such an asshole to you every day. this job sucks everyone is such a dick to me and youre the only regular who isnt so i take it out on you. and that probably wont change but im sorry anyway." and then the next time i went, he was rude as fuck to me again like nothing had ever happened. life is so strange.

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I just got described as an "ad hating commie" by someone because I said a minute of youtube ads is unpleasant. fully spent 5 minutes arguing and defending youtube ads. insane stuff

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i'm havin homosexual thoughts

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i fuckin love sitting. if a task that’s traditionally done standing can also be done sitting? my ass is on the ground. my legs are cris-crossed. my knees are apple-sauced. my shoulders are hunched. my posture is a shrimp-like abomination. i love it. i love sitting. i love every single fucking filthy thing about it.

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I just saw a DNI for "evil intentions". nobody puts up a warding talisman anymore just a fucking DNI

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I like when my dreams reuse locations from past dreams. like oh cool we doin a bottle episode

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J.W. Chapman-Taylor Botanical hothouse 1900-1930 color photograph from autochrome plate Museum of New Zealand - Te Papa Tongarewa; Collection: Photography

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woah this character is so cool i wish they were covered in blood their whole body trembling with a look of absolute horror on their face as theyre struggling to breathe in panic

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The hardest part of being a substitute teacher is sometimes a twelve year old walks into your classroom wearing a ten-gallon cowboy hat for no reason and you cannot under any circumstances say "hell yeah"

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guess who just got ✨dommed by the narrative✨✨✨

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i just said out loud, “you know what really gargles my goyles?” and then i had to just sit there and accept that i now live in a world where someone said those words in that order. and now so do you. what a tangled web we weave

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buddhist furry calculating what sins to commit to get reincarnated as the animal they wish they were. like a darts player

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The thing is, when museums and cultural institutions or researchers adopt memes in a "How do you do, fellow kids" way, that's adorable like my grandma when she's misusing emojis. However when some megacorp does it to sell me evil products or some influencer is trying to get me to buy nonsense skincare mud or cyberpunk looking face masks or weightloss pills, I think that's evil incarnate and their name goes into the Death Note (very mindful, very demure)

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Puchiko, do you prefer Tumblr or X?

"Hey bro do you prefer coffee, or bucket of slugs?"

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if ao3 is down AND i have a tummy ache i will end up on the news

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I love women!!!!!! also you love women too!!!!!!!!