palegreendream

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"Nama u Ilici, nisam znala"

Gledam očima A ne vidim Moj razum Je ugašem Gledam uokolo Ali uistinu gledam pravo Za tobom čežam, tebi se divim A gdje mene ima u tvojoj priči? Ne znaš ni tko sam!

Tko me nauči, tko me na ovaj svijet stavi Da lutam Neprestano, bespovratno Bolje da nikada nije Neda mi da živim, lancima ja vezana sam za vas svagda Nije krivica samo na meni Sloboda moja u vašoj je šaci Ja ne mogu biti ono sto želim Bez da me i vlastita krv degradira i uništava Omalovažava! Bolje da ti nisam sestra! Želim da ti nikad nisam postala kćer Jer vaš um zatvoren je Kao i moj Ali na suprotnoj strani svemira Dišemo.

Ja sama sam Ovdje nitko da me poštuje I vidi koliko vrijedim Pa čak ni sama ja Teško mi bude Ali kako nitko nikada Marta, samo ti ostaješ Da ovdje u Osijeku Sama na svijetu Voliš sebe I uzdižeš se iznad boga! Pa neka Ko da ga i ima Sve je samo puka izmišljotina i strah Od zla, kojemu drugo ime je čovjek I sebe vrjednuj Marta Sebe kroz život vodiš Otvori svoj um, razum upali Izgori! Da kada po kamenjaru hodaš Spotičeš se i iskrivljuješ gležnjeve Pa makar puzeći kao da se predaješ Zoolopisu krvavom Ne izdahneš Ne stopiš se s njim.

1332024

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Sutra će te povrijedit..

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"Ljudi koji su usamljeni ostaju usamljeni do kraja. I ne znam kako da se pretvorim, kako da reinkarniram sebe u osobu koja ne treba društvo? Želim da mi nitko nije potreban, ne želim se osjećati tjeskobnom jer sam sama, ne želim se više osjećati glupom, ni ružnom, ni malom pred drugima."

— from my diary on January 19th, 2024.

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I need... I need something...

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— 11.1.2024.

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— 9.1.2024.

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— 9.1.2024.

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"Pa daj me više odvedi!"

— 22.12.2023.

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Emma Parker

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I want to overdose even if I don't do drugs

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Well what I was thinking about lately is how Lana del Rey's music affect badly on teenagers' health. The reason for this is that I realised her music is too dreamy and high class. Centre of all her songs are her being a fragile lady who is in love with fragile man, or that man is cold but cool or she is the best and so on. All that in dreamy, good life lyrical pictures. I like some of her music but it crosses a line with reality of an everiday world and life of working class people. The thing is that my life is not all wisky and cola in my hand while I am partying in my red dress. It is much more complicated than that. In the time I feel lost and more deppressed than ever I do not need another thing that will confuse me, saying to me that my life is a dream and when it stops I am back in this time, crying because I did not appreciated one who matters the most, where I do not have a will to study for college and hate my family, am mad from the depth of my soul, like thousands of fire balls throwed at the poor village in the war. War inside of me. Lana won't help me with her dreamy peaces of shit.

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Hey guys, you know what!?? I will get the life I dream of and I will live my best life no matter when and how. I will graduate college, hopefully medicine and one day I will become a doctor and work with people. I can damn do this! I will get to my best life with my work, patience and believing in myself no one will damn say to me to don't do something and do the other thing, I am so tired of that shit! I will figurate it out myself. I can do anything. Am not a failure if I am in bad highschool, had a relationship that didn't work out, and lost so much time on stupid things instead of trying to figurate out what I want to do with my life. I will hopefully stop talking to anybody about my relationship with medical school or other colleges. Few of them can help. But it is on me.

I am capable of anything!

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spine curves

Henrik Bülow

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i think i left my heart in italy