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“The cave paintings at Lascaux exist. You cannot visit.” -type post

So many works are tainted by this looming dreadful feeling of oh, I shouldn’t be allowed to see this here. Reproductions mitigate that SO much.

Good morning,

museums should repatriate artifacts belonging to living cultures and display reproductions instead

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I love how in almost every adaptation of "The Count of Monte Cristo" the Abbe's last words are something like "Remember, do not let vengance consume you. Promise me you won't seek revenge. Justice is served by God" or smth like this, while in the book, the literal source material, he just goes "Find the treasure on the island of Monte Cristo. Get the money" and then dies.

This book is so unhinged, I can't even. It's pure chaos. Don't let anyone ever convince you that it's sophisticated classic literature. Dumas loved drama, schemes, adventures and dumb ironic humor.

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no one will come to save you but some will offer you their hand to hold when life gets tough and those are the ppl that matter

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the groundhog reportedly saw "a blood red sun. in the foreground a massive wheel framing the sun in the sky. the wheel has ceased to turn". nobody is sure what this means but its probably fine

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when your phone runs out of battery its like yousuddenly got transported to the 1300s lol *recieving phonecall* wait that jokes been made? wait every human experience is just the same song thats been playing since the start and will keep going until were gone?

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Reading this bc I learned it’s my mom’s boyfriend’s favorite book. I’m gonna call it “19th century Batman” in front of him the next time I want to inflict maximum psychic damage. Beautiful 😌🤌✨

Men will be like "it's my favorite book!" and show you 19th century Batman

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Can I Please Eat In The Computer Room Tonight? by Nicole Nikolich (2025)

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whale fall 🦴

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fucking brutal section headings from the herman melville wikipedia page

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Great.

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Nature really went off with sperm whales. A 70-ton predator with teeth the size of a banana but it only eats squishy prey that it doesn’t even chew, it just schlorps them down whole like a vacuum cleaner. Big giant fat head full of goop. Tiniest fins in the world. Strong enough to smash a ship to pieces and smart enough to figure out how to do so but its first line of defense is just to shit everywhere. Possibly the most complex language in the animal kingdom and it creates sounds by blowing air through its internal right nostril (it uses the left one to breathe) into its giant fat head. It’s the loudest animal on the planet and might have the capability to create a beam of sound so loud it can shake your organs apart but they don’t seem to use that to hunt or fight. They’re highly flammable. We used them to make candles.

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I love Wikipedia subsections that are just absolutely unhinged out of context

Peak comedy right here

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to this day possibly one of my best ideas. someone get me a pitch meeting with the hallmark channel

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