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i mean this in the best way possible, i believe if you were a salad you'd just be a kilogram of lettuce leaves and 1 paper thin cucumber slice hidden somewhere in the middle

next time just slit me open from throat to taint

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This too shall pass but like holy fuck

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Not to be vague but not again please

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*grits teeth* im hopeful i believe there is good in the world im fucking hopeful

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Yeah that seems about right

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So do it angry

Trying to remember this

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Trying to remember this

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I gotta say, Nov 5 is a kinda sucky day to have a birthday. All I wanna do is have some cake & do Literally Anything Else besides watching the election, but none of my friends are willing to do anything but watch the news, and I don’t want to spend tonight alone 😂💀

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This would affect the trout population.

And the economy

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remember when i said every presidential election comes down to the absolute most checked the fuck out people in the country

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I know they're named after him but for reasons I can't fully articulate it's hilarious that the guy who invented zeppelins was named Ferdinand von Zeppelin

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eye of the tiger plays as i enthusiastically jump out of bed and hit my head on an overhead lamp and remain unconscious for the rest of the day